You need to get used to building your arousal to where you’re almost at that point of no return, says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., sex researcher at Indiana University and author of Great in Bed. Start stimulation, but as soon as you feel you’re getting too aroused, simply pause for a brief moment—Herbenick recommends 5 to 10 seconds—and let your arousal subside. After repeating this technique a few times, feel free to release.
As soon as you feel you’re getting close, stop stimulation and squeeze right below the head of your penis, says Herbenick. It’s best to focus the pressure on the urethra—the tube running along the underside of the penis—because this will temporarily represses your ejaculatory response. Once your arousal has died down, repeat a few more times before reaching climax, says Herbenick.
Another useful technique for pushing back your ejaculatory response is to wear a desensitizing condom, says Herbenick. These products contain the desensitizing lubricant benzocaine, so it will buy you a few more minutes in the sack. But something to keep in mind: Make sure you’re not putting the condom on inside out, otherwise the Benzocaine will end up inside her vagina, says Herbenick. (And if you’re still searching for other alternatives to battle this buzz kill, check out our feature on additional ways to treat PE.)