What Love Languages Do You Speak
Now let’s not get excited, this article isn’t about dirty talking or whispering sweet nothings into someone’s ear. I’m here to explain a few deep forms of connection that can help you further understand everyone you love.
Each one of us express our emotions differently. When it comes to love, there are five different types of love languages. We speak all five of these languages but we prefer to use two above all the others. Knowing the different types will help you understand how each person you are especially close with chooses to express their love to you. This knowledge can be extremely useful because with it you will be able to communicate more effectively and build healthier relationships with other people.
Since we don’t all use the same love languages, sometimes we feel like the other person doesn’t love us back and it can cause confusion and tension. For example, if you are fond of an abundance of physical touch but your lover is not, you may feel as if they don’t love you as much, but this is NOT the case. They just speak different love languages than you do; therefore, are expressing their love in a different way that you may not understand.
Wouldn’t it be great to know all the loves languages so you can understand your loved ones more? Of course it would, and that is the reason why I am writing this article for you, so you can understand the different types of love languages and also learn how each person expresses their love differently.
The five love languages people use are:
1.) Affirmations: using words to express love – The people who use affirmations to express their love are the ones who are always telling you how much they love and appreciate you. When they say these things, they mean it. Nothing makes them happier than telling you how much they love you and then watching you blush.
Action: Tell them you love them too – Saying it back is music to their ears. Nothing would make them happier than telling them you love them back. Don’t forget to tell them how beautiful and special they are to you. They want to hear how you feel so don’t be shy, tell them!
2.) Quality time: making time for people who are important – The people who use quality time to express their love are the ones that want to spend their precious time with you so that you can build a deeper relationship with them. They are the ones who always miss you and want to see you every chance they get. They wouldn’t want to spend their time with anyone else in the world.
Action: Clear your schedule – Tell them you are all theirs for the weekend. Plan a special date to make them feel extra important. Putting aside time your time for them will always make their day.
3.) Touch: using physical touch to express love – The people who express their love by physical touch are the ones who will jump on you and molest your face with kisses. They always want to cuddle or hold hands at every possible moment. Nothing is a better feeling to them than being in your arms.
Action: Touch back – Give them some mushiness too. Surprise them with a big random hug and kiss, showing them you want to be close to them too. Giving these people physical affection will make them melt in your arms.
4.) Services: doing favors and helping people – The people who express their love through services are the ones who will go out of their way for you, even if it inconveniences them, and expect nothing in return. They will always offer you help when you need it most without even thinking twice about it. They are always willing to help people they care about because it makes them feel good.
Action: Give them thanks. Giving them a big thank you and telling them how much you appreciate their help is all they need to hear. Let them know that you will be more than glad to help them when they need it too. This makes them feel even better when they know that they can count on you.
5.) Gifts: buying meaningful gifts. The people who buy you gifts express their love by making sure they buy the things you need or desire. They will be more than happy to get you the things that they know you want, usually surprising you with them randomly. They also will buy things that symbolize your relationship in some way, usually on special occasions, which makes their gift on of sentimental value. They love to put a smile on your face when they hand you something you’ve always wanted or needed.
Action: Give them thanks and appreciation. Telling them how much you love their gift and how you are going to use/cherish it is all they need to be smiling from ear to ear. In the future, give them a gift to show your love for them as well.
After learning about these five different love language, you may have noticed which of the two you use most while the other three you barely use at all. Now you may have realized how some of your relationships have been rough or failed because of the lack of understanding between the love languages.
As you can now see, people express themselves in a different ways, but that doesn’t mean that reflecting your love back in their language will always be effective. For example, in my case, I express my love through gifts and services, but I don’t like when people buy me gifts. Strange, isn’t it? I do love when people return favors when I help them out and I like it when women are all touchy-feely with me.
This knowledge if really meant to help you recognize how your loved ones speak love and how you can properly appreciate their way of doing so. You can even ask them which love languages they use and cater your relationship to what they tell you so you can both benefit from this higher understanding.
Learning about these languages can shed some light on misunderstood relationships. My father was never a particularly affectionate kind of guy, and was never the affirmations type either. As a young boy, I didn’t understand why and it made me think he didn’t love me. But 15 years later, after learning about the five love languages, it made me realize that my father was a services and gifts type of person.
All my life, my father would fix my broken stuff, help me with things I needed, bought me the things I wanted, and always took care of me when I needed help. That was HIS way of showing his love and it wasn’t till I was 25 did I learn this fact. And it turns out, my father and I actually speak the same love languages.
So imagine all the confusion I had as a little boy thinking that my father didn’t love me, when in fact, all the sacrifices he made to raise me and my two sisters was simply his way of showing love. Now that you know what all the five love languages are, you can have a deeper appreciation and understanding of your loved ones. You might even give yourself a face palm after you realize that those you thought may not have loved you, have loved you all along.
I give this knowledge to you so you can go back to you loved ones and find out which ones they speak. Not only will this give you a better understanding, it may also give you a deeper appreciation of the people love and cherish in your life.