Can platonic friends have sex with each other and still remain close friends? Is it too good to be true or is it the perfect scenario? If you are tempted to have sex with your friend, were they ever actually your friend in the first place? Or were they just someone you wanted to hook up with that happened to be off limits for whatever reason? Did they have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? Did you? Were they your friend’s ex?
Whatever the case may be, one thing remains constant: if you want to remain friends during and after the affair, you need to be straight up with each other. This person is you friend, you don’t want to hurt their feelings or give them unrealistic expectations. Let it be known that this is a sexual thing and no relationship is going to come out of it.
“So this brings us to the conclusion that fuck buddy relationship, is ultimately a a mutually beneficial relationship for people who are seeking sex and intimacy for short periods of time to dilute their loneliness or just to have fun. This relationship is not purely sex, and it’s not purely friendship. It’s something in between. And for you to enter a relationship of this sort… you’ll need to be able to accept that completely.” – Emma Woodhouse
What are two friends, who are entertaining the idea of sleeping with each other, going to do? Well, you guessed it, they’re going to try and hope for the best. Who knows, this could be the greatest arrangement ever or it could blow up in their faces. But honestly, like everything in life, you never know until you try.
Let’s take a look at some of the pros and cons of sleeping with your friend:
You’re comfortable with them
There is a level of comfort in familiarity. The awkwardness that plagues dating and courting is cast aside here. There is no getting to know you phase, no introduction to friends and family and most certainly no actual dates. This is probably the most beneficial factor when hooking up with your friend. This person is your good friend, so of course you are going to be comfortable around them.
This person is your friend, so they are going to judge you for engaging in this sort of behavior and honestly they probably aren’t judging your body either. Wow, a non-judgmental relationship! If only every relationship in life could be like that, then life would be much simpler. You don’t have to worry about how you look when you are around this person; they are your friend they have probably seen you at your worst and your best. The best part is even after seeing all that, they still want to hook up with you.
You have someone at your disposal to fulfill your physical needs and the best part is you already have their number. You don’t need to worry about rearranging your schedule as this person is not your priority: #winning. Whenever your schedule allows for it, you have your rendezvous. There is no reason to plan ahead as this is a casual fling. If you have time, you have time, if not — it’s not the end of the world.
You don’t have to impress
This person is your friend, so basically you’ve already impressed them; why else would they even be your friend? Don’t worry about what the right shade of lipstick looks best with your outfit, your friend doesn’t give a sh*t about that. All they care about is that they have fun hanging out with you while still reaping the benefits of a sexual relationship on the side.
Kept on the low
This is a person you trust and enjoy spending time with. One of the benefits of having this type of relationship is that they will HOPEFULLY keep their mouths shut. I mean they are your friend, aren’t they? And friends keep your secrets. Plus, the less people know. the better off the two of you will be. If other people become aware of this arrangement, this is where the cons come into play.
When they get a significant other, you’re out
This only becomes a problem if their boyfriend/girlfriend knows about your affair. We get it, it was just sex, but this new person will not think of it that way. Do you really think they’re going to be comfortable allowing their significant other to go out and just hang out with you? Think again. Regardless if trust is an issue or not, your past is there and you can’t avoid it. This person will always think there is something more going on during your platonic hangout and, honestly, they should be — if they weren’t in the picture, you’d still be hooking up with them.
When the flame has extinguished, people are awkward
If you make the fatal error of telling your other friends that you and their mutual friend are getting down and dirty, sh*t can get really awkward. How are they supposed to act around the two of you while you’re out at a bar, knowing there’s a 50/50 chance you two are going home together.
One of you may catch feelings
When the hookup reaches its natural expiration date, you run the risk of not having the capability of being friends. There’s always the risk that someone’s emotions will get out of whack, which can lead to the ultimate dissolution of the initial friendship. Despite declaring the rules at the beginning of the arrangement, there’s always an emotional gamble. People too often mistake sex for love, which can become a huge problem in this type of relationship, as it is based on sex.
Could be awkward
As comfortable as this relationship is when it’s just the two of you together, it’s a whole other story when you are out in public with your group of friends. How do you act when you are around them? You two are most likely pretty good friends, so normal interactions are fine, but when the drinks start flowing, who knows how your behavior is going to change…
This isn’t a love story
Don’t make the mistake of treating this person like your significant other, that can make things end pretty damn fast. As soon as this line gets crossed, things will take a turn for the worse. Whether this is because one person caught feelings for the other or just the fact that you realized you were better off as friends, if this arrangement takes the wrong turn, you can say bye-bye to your so-called friendship.