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Guys Reveal How They Feel About Saying “I Love You” For The First Time During Sex

I'm not going to sugarcoat it: Saying “I love you,” especially for the first time, is a huge f*cking deal.

You're showing a vulnerable side of you that's usually kept hidden, opening up your heart to someone else when it's usually locked away in a box under the dumpster outside your apartment.

Those three words carry a lot of weight to 'em. You don't just throw them around like any other phrase. They have value, meaning, and are a great way of showing just how you feel about someone.

You love them. LOVE, people. THAT'S BIG.

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And saying “I love you” is even BIGGER when it's uttered in the midst of hot, sweaty, passionate lovemaking.

Because there's no better time to tell someone for the first time how full your heart is than when you're inside them, amirite?

Well, maybe not.

A bunch of guys took to Reddit to express just how they feel about telling their partner they love them for the first time in the middle of sex.

Showing raw emotion: It's not for everyone!

Pro-tip: Love should be referenced before ~the sex~ takes place.

Never said it to someone for the first time during sex. It usually gets said first and then we have sex


That emotionally charged romp could make you say things you may not actually mean.

I wouldn't recommend it, specifically because of that emotional high that's hormone fueled during sexual play… oftentimes it makes us feel very differently than we do once we're back down from that high.

I actually have had one experience with this that I vividly remember. A partner and I were having sex and it was clear how intimate it was and the deep connection we were feeling. It's like my love was pouring out of me and felt his coming back at me. I was definitely thinking "I love you" but knew enough to hold back on actually saying it out loud. Afterwards, while we were cuddling, he looked at me and asked what I was thinking during it. I put the question back to him without answering and he replied with "we were definitely both thinking and feeling the same thing but I need to hear it out loud from you right now". I felt comfortable letting him know that's what I was saying and feeling during the act then, since I felt we both had time to process it and come down for a bit and it was more about how we were during the experience itself. Would probably surprise people to know that he was a casual partner (FWB situation) and we were both clear on the relationship status, knowing we would be horrible in a serious, dating relationship together.


Well… if you say it first, I'll say it (or at least, grunt it) back.

I did! I told my current boyfriend that I loved him for the first time during sex. We had been dating for about 6 months or so, and it was the day after Valentine's Day. I thought about telling him then, but we had such a fun night together I didn't want to potentially "ruin" it…Even though I could tell he loved me back, lol. So the next day we were having sex and I was just overwhelmed with how much I loved him. I knew he did too, so I just said it. At first he was kind of caught up in the moment and kind of whisper-grunted "love you" and then he realized what I said, held my face, and told me he loved me so much. It was fucking awesome. Now we constantly exchange I love you's, and it never gets old.


Saying “I love you” during sex has the potential to be romantic AF… if you're both on the same page, that is.

I feel like this is generally a bad idea…but if you know the other person feels the same, it could be super sweet. Sometimes you just know the other person feels the same way, it just hasn't been said yet. But you need to be 100% sure.


Don't do it, according to this guy, because sex just confuses EVERYTHING.

It's probably not the best idea. It may be difficult to tell the difference between a heat of the moment, blurt it out 'I love you' and a genuine one.


This guy would prefer to say “I love you” over a lobster dinner, not sweaty sex.

Not a good time to say it. Better over a nice romantic dinner or something like that.


Saying “I love you” mid-climax is allowed… as long as you don't scream it with a twisted “O” face.

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Apparently I told my SO I loved her for the first time right after I came. I don't remember this, but she swears that's what happened. She is unimpressed with that, but we have a pretty good relationship.


Rough sex isn't exactly the most practical time to pour your heart out to someone.

My current SO said it to me for the first time while we were having particularly rough sex. He just pulled me onto his lap, brushed my hair out of my face and told me he loved me. It was a very sweet moment and we just kissed for a while, but it definitely was awkward getting back into rough sex after such a tender moment between us. I think it was super sweet, but I definitely think it would have been more practical to wait until after we had had sex.


This guy would much rather “show” his love for someone, not “tell” it.

I don't think I have… But I'm more of a "show don't tell" type when it comes to expressing love.

Everyone has their own feelings about the expression. Some people say it at the end of every phone call, others reserve it for special occasions. Just keep in mind that the expression means different things to different people, and the setting can affect how they interpret it.

Personally I would say it outside of the bedroom first. If your S.O. sees sex more as a form of (intimate) play, they may be caught off-guard if you start professing your love to them in the middle of foreplay.


Sex could be so much better with a properly timed “I love you.”

I said it but the hooker wouldn't say it back until I gave her another 20. I'm kidding of course. I told my current girlfriend of 19 months that I loved her while we kissing in missionary position. She looked surprised for a about 2 seconds and then she said it right back. It just made the rest of that sex so much better.


Any “I love you” should be null and void when brought up even remotely close to sex, according to this guy.

I make it a rule that any sort of "I love you." Immediately before, during or after sex doesnt count unless it's been said before. Because when the hormones are raging and your heart is pounding you say stuff you wouldnt normally say and in that moment you can confuse those intense emotions for love. It's not the same.

Im sure the japanese, and germans have words for this kind of in the moment sexual love thats more befitting than "lust" they have words for everything.


Sex can get messy (in so many ways, like, literally if lube is involved, but also just messy with so. Many. Feelings), so bringing love into the equation may not be the best course of action.

So before you spew out any reference to those three words, just save yourself the trouble and think about if you actually mean it.

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Sean Abrams


Sean Abrams is a sex & dating writer for Elite Daily. He enjoys long walks on the beach and large glasses of tequila. When he's not putting his thoughts on paper, he likes to pretend he's just like Channing Tatum in "Step Up" as a hip hop d ...
Sean Abrams is a sex & dating writer for Elite Daily. He enjoys long walks on the beach and large glasses of tequila. When he's not putting his thoughts on paper, he likes to pretend he's just like Channing Tatum in "Step Up" as a hip hop d ...

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