4 Sex Tips That Make Finishing More Than Once Easier For Women
If you're anything like me, the existence of “multiple orgasms” seems just about as legitimate as the existence of “wild unicorns.” I have enough trouble finishing one time. (Andddd now I'm blushing.) However, according to a 2015 nationally representative study of 1,055 women in the U.S. — the OMGYES Pleasure Report — 47 percent of women reported multiple orgasms. So, I have 495.85 more women to be very jealous of. Cool. After confirming the existence of multiple orgasms — or “MOs” as the cool kids (doctors) call them — I decided to seek out the doctor behind the study to gather sex tips for multiple orgasms so that the rest of us plebeians could catch up with the times.
Debby Herbenick, Ph.D, professor at Indiana University and author of The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise explains that multiple orgasms are actually defined as “basically two or more orgasms in a row, without taking a break in between them.” That's right, two in a row. I'm even more impressed by these almost-496 women now. Because I want MOs too, I had to know how to the rest of us attain this level of greatness.
In the study, the team asked these women about their technique regarding the actual ways they were able to MO. So all of these tips and tricks in fact come directly from the source. I asked Dr. Herbenick about what women who were able to finish more than once recommended, and here's the great intel she shared:
1. Keep Going With The Same Kind Of Stimulation
One third of the women who reported multiple orgasms said they were able to achieve them simply by continuing with the technique that got them off in the first place. “In other words, find what you like and — even after orgasm number one — keep going with that same consistent technique,” explains Dr. Herbenick. “Whether that's a part of touching, intercourse, oral sex, toy play, and so on.”
With P in V sex, a male partner is usually done when he's done, which could make this “continuation” difficult if he has already finished. That said, if you were using a vibrator in the bedroom, it would be easy to keep it running even after you've peaked your first time. And with oral? Just ask bae to keep it coming.
2. Switch Things Up
Yes, this is in fact the opposite of the previous tip. Women's bodies truly are all different, beautiful flowers like our moms said. Dr. Herbenick shared that another third of the survey's respondents relied on a completely different kind of stimulation from what they used to reach their first orgasm. So, for example, maybe penetration got them off the first time, but then adding that vibrator to the mix brought the second orgasm into existence.
Additionally, “slightly more than half of the women said that they enjoyed returning to earlier kinds of stimulation to ‘rebuild' their arousal and experience additional orgasms,” explains Dr. Herbenick. Basically, heading back the way of foreplay and oral was helpful to obtain the second orgasm.
3. Get To Know Your Body
I feel like women are told this all the time, and I consistently am not exactly sure what it means. Am I supposed to hold a mirror up to my nether regions and map things out? Am I supposed to spend a whole afternoon negating my responsibilities and touching myself instead?
Dr. Herbenick broke it down for me: Knowing your body means identifying what it likes and what it responds to. You probably know how to get yourself off, right? Take that information into the bedroom, and don't be afraid to share it with your partner.
And when it comes to communicating with your partner, don't fake it 'til you make it. “If you fake orgasms, you're giving your partner false information and they can't as easily help you have one, let alone multiple, orgasms,” she explained. Very wise. MOs are yet another reason not to put on an Oscar-winning performance in the bedroom.
4. Be Patient With Yourself
Dr. Herbenick told me that it's important not to put to much pressure on the whole “multiple orgasms” thing. Even one orgasm can be interrupted by our overachieving minds that tell us to “hurry up and do it already.” In reality, you need to take the pressure off to get to one — or more — orgasms.
Orgasming is hard, so don't fret if it doesn't come easy to you. “Nearly all women are capable of experiencing orgasm, even if takes some months or years to initially learn to experience orgasm,” says Dr. Herbenick. “We don't know if all women can have multiple orgasms, but many certainly can.”
Patience, exploration, and indulgence in learning how to pleasure yourself (alone or with a partner) are vital if you want to be in the right head space to go for the MO gold. But you don't have to even strive for multiple orgasms, says Dr. Herbenick. “Even women who are capable of multiple orgasms don't always choose to have them. Quite often, one lovely orgasm is pleasure enough.”
And if you don't even get one O? You can still have some pleasure, and have some fun. Keep going for it, and soon you'll obtain the MOs you've always dreamed of. It can be frustrating when you feel like your partner is consistently getting of, and if your partner is a man, you're probably right. But while men can orgasm more regularly, they don't have the recharging capabilities to MO, which is another reason that it's pretty cool to be a lady.
Now, go experiment and add your own results to the mix. Make MOs your new MO. (Modus Operandi, not Missouri.)
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Subscribe to Elite Daily's official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don't want to miss.