I never understood why some men enjoy dating. I can understand why women enjoy it- all the free food and drinks. But why men enjoy it, really does baffle me. I mean, yes, taking a girl out to dinner and drinks will most definitely double the chances of getting her pants off of her and onto your floor, but it can get pretty expensive.
Not to mention, there are much cheaper ways of getting laid that don’t involve a five-course meal. Like picking up a loose woman at a bar, or roofies.
The only reason we really date is because that is what we believe we are supposed to do. It is the way that society has structured our intersexual interactions- it’s the proper way to do it. For animals that are praised for their abilities in logic, we sure as hell are illogical.
We have one awful dating experience after another and yet continue to allow our friends to set us up, continue to ask that leggy blonde out for drinks, and continue to be disappointed.
Assuming that you are dating for the right reasons- to find someone that you can share your life with- then what reason do you have to believe that dating is the way to go about finding that person? It must be all those other dating experiences you had. Like that time you went out with that guy and realized that he was 6 inches shorter than his Facebook pictures made him out to be.
Or that time that waitress you asked out for drinks turned out to be a devote catholic keeping her chastity until way after marriage. Maybe your experience with that beautiful redhead that laughed like a hyena makes you believe that the next time you go out on a date you’ll find your one?
I’m not a person who believes that there is only one person out there for us; I believe that there are several potential candidates, and depending on whom we happen to meet, we will most likely end up with. So let’s say that there are ten people out there for each of us- a nice round number. What do you think your chances are of meeting one of those ten people?
There are currently just over 7 billion people on this planet and although men slightly outnumber women, the ratio is basically 1 to 1. So, there are about 3.5 billion people out there of your sex of preference. That means that your chances of finding any one of those ten of your possible matches is 1 out of 350 million. You may as well play the lottery.
With such small chances of finding the right person, why do we bother looking so actively? Is it because we enjoy dating? Only if you are either a woman or you enjoy being tortured. Is it because it will give us better chances of finding one of our potential soul mates? I don’t believe it does.
Sure, you may go through more people- but the more you date, the more time you end up wasting with someone who you know, right off the bat, it is not going to work out with. This is why people end up in relationships of comfort, torturing themselves until they eventually get so bored that they need to either cut all ties or drown themselves in the bathtub.
Dating is bound to lead to failure- it has failure in the essence of its being. You are only able to date if you have yet to find someone special. Once you find that someone and settle down, you can no longer date. Dating requires failure and loneliness.
We would all be better off if we were to stop dating all the time and just focus on enjoying life and living it to the fullest. With the chances of you meeting someone special being so slim, your chances of meeting someone without actively looking is basically the same as your chances while actively looking and dating- probably even higher since if you’re not constantly dating you won’t be wasting so much time with people that aren’t worth the while.
You get one life to live and one life only. You can waste your time dating people that you know you won’t want to keep around for long, or you can spend your time doing what makes you happy- bettering yourself as a person and growing. Go and experience life to the fullest- leave the dating for when you think you may have someone worth sharing the dessert with.
You never know when or where you’ll find that person. You are just as likely to meet them on the train as you are to meet them backpacking through Europe.
If you believe in true love, then you have to believe that eventually you will find your way to one of your better halves. Stop wasting time dating losers and people that are just not right for you; dating sucks.
Paul Hudson | Elite.
For more from Paul, follow him on Twitter @MrPaulHudson