Summer has officially ended and the cuffing season is upon us. Cuffing season?…Yes, that time period between the end of summer and full on winter. This is the perfect time for you to find your prospective partner for these coming months. You must take it seriously as everyone is out there fighting for the same thing, although good things normally come to those who wait…not in this case.
You better get your prospects in line before someone else takes your prize. The key to this is finding someone you can see consistently for more than 2 months. Although this is hard with our ADD generation, it is a must if you want to have a successful cuffing season. Below you will find the ominous signs the cuffing season is upon us.
Seasonal flavors are back at Starbucks.
After your intense cuddle sessions, you’re going to need something to help jump start your day. Want to stay on your partner’s good side? Well nothing will make them more happy than a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks to start their day. Warning: this may lead to more cuddling and you may never want to leave your house.
Fewer and fewer people are running outside.
In the summertime, you will get a bunch of people running around to stay in shape and keep healthy. While the streets are flooded during the summertime, all these warriors hide in their caves once it gets cold outside. Why torture yourself running in the cold when you can sit at home, cuffing with your cuffing buddy? The only people that run in the winter are athletes and people who are single that have nothing better to do with their lives.
Your favorite cuffing TV shows are back.
Yup, it’s September and the TV networks are gearing up for another season of great TV. What can be better than watching your favorite shows after a good meal with your cuddle buddy? Stay warm, stay full and enjoy the show.
Football season is here.
Although many of us may look forward to spending this time with our bros while knocking back a few brews, it’s imperative that we understand the
significance of the football season. Once football season has started, there is no turning back. Cuffing season is in full swing and you are already immersed in it balls deep, there is nothing you can do from this point on to change the situation, just go with the flow and continue the cuff.
The famous leggings are making their way back.
Every man’s wish and worst nightmare: leggings. Once the weather gets a little cooler, it is suddenly an open invitation for women to pull out their legging wardrobe, usually coupled with UGG boots and a North Face jacket. Once you see your first pair of leggings, highlighting a woman’s voluptuous curves, you should know that you should be on the hunt for your cuff buddy.
Easy pickings have left for the upcoming season.
All those easy summer interns you were banging at your current job have left to either go back to school or home to live with their parents. Although it was great having them around, it’s goodbye to those easy one-night stands. It is time for you to get your mind right and find yourself a new administrative assistant to bang just to help you adjust to the coming of fall. Remember the administrative assistant is much different than the interns as she will be around for a while, so control yourself and don’t overexert yourself.
More people are choosing to stay in rather than go out.
There always reaches that time period when people slowly stop going out and decide to just stay local. They may flood their local bars and restaurants, but would probably think twice before going outside of their respective neighborhood. Although this is good for keeping people from Murray Hill flooding your bars with their obnoxious banter, it also limits your pool of suitable partners. Remember: during the cuffing season, people are like sharks and once they find their prey, they like to get comfortable until it’s full on winter.
Shaving her legs is no longer a priority.
We understand the extent women go to in order to keep their bodies in great condition for the summer. Simple maintenance like shaving legs and arm pits on a regular basis becomes quite tedious, so some chicks skip this all together. Why shave when you can just put a pair of leggings on and cover those bushy legs? When you notice chicks skipping out on shaving their legs, you know it’s cuffing season.
The brisk cool weather leaves you wanting a warm body to sleep next to.
Summer is officially over and one of the first signs is the cool weather. During the summer, you were on your high horse, getting bodies left and right, but now it’s time to calm down. The cool weather brings people closer and it makes for great cuddle sessions. Nothing is going to make you guys want to leave that person’s warmth, so once you get stuck you’re there for a while. Don’t spend another brisk night alone again, find yourself that warm body.
Drake released a new album.
It’s officially here, Drake’s new album, Nothing Was The Same is ready for your listening pleasure. Now if anyone knows anything about Drake, you will know that his music is just as soft as he his. Although he may talk about being a drug dealer and carrying guns, this man has clearly watched way too many movies. Although his music will do nothing but put you to sleep, girls love his sh*t. So you know it’s cuffing season when this man releases an album.
Top Photo Courtesy: WeTheUrban