A ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship may be one of the best perks to develop in recent years. No relationship in your early 20s can be better than a relationship full of good sex with no emotional roller coasters. Both of you understand the necessary limitations of the relationship and you guys agree that the exchange doesn’t extend beyond the orgasm (or two) you guys give each other.
If you’re not regularly participating in orgasms with your ‘Friend with Benefits’ partner, then you aren’t really grasping the whole point of the relationship. The objective of this exchange is to have a consistent fling that you can have access to on a regular basis.
As a whole, our generation simply has lost sight of love. We have become a pleasuring-seeking troop, highly interested in the pursuit of instant gratification. As a generation, we also find it hard to build long and meaningful relationships, which is one of the reasons why ‘Friends With Benefits’ is the ideal relationship for our early 20s. Here are the 10 ways to have a successful ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship:
Make sure you both have the same expectations about the relationship.
This is the most crucial point to the success of the relationship; it is important that both parties understand the purpose of the relationship and what is required of each person. So to start it off right, both of you need to agree that this is strictly a ‘Friends with Benefits’ situation and that meeting the parents and running errands together is a no-go.
This is purely a physical relationship that only requires penetration, anything more than an orgasm can be dangerous. You should always keep this rule in the back of your mind.
Set the rules so that you both understand the boundaries.
Every ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship is going to be different, people expect different things from each other. Therefore, it is crucial that you guys both set boundaries that you can agree on, so there is no room for misunderstanding. Figure out your schedules and what works for you guys.
Some boundaries that you may want to make include how often you want to see each other. Do you want to hang out before or after sex? Is spending nights at each others’ places appropriate? These are just simple rules that would clear up any confusion and keep the relationship moving forward until you guys are tired of each other.
Don’t be afraid to look elsewhere.
Since you both agree that this relationship is purely physical, then it is best to understand that each of you are allowed to look elsewhere for a more serious relationship or another ‘Friends with Benefits’ arrangement. This is to ensure that you don’t look to your ‘Friends with Benefits’ partner for any boyfriend/ girlfriend qualities.
Make sure you are on the constant prowl for another partner to date casually or even for a real relationship. If, at any point, jealousy sets in and one of you begins to catch feelings, it’s time to open up to the other person and immediately end the ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship, as you are stepping into a dangerous arena if you prolong the situation by keeping quiet.
Don’t see each other frequently.
The key in this type of relationship is to have great sex and not to get emotionally attached. This may prove to be a problem for some, but it’s in your best interest to try and keep the emotional attachment to a minimum. One way to ensure this is by being infrequent with your meetings. Maybe it’s best if you limit your rendezvous to once or twice a week on random nights.
You should never have a day set up where you solely see your ‘Friends with Benefits’ partner, as it is a sign that you are prioritizing them and it may lead to something more.
Do not plan rendezvous days in advance.
Under no circumstance should you make plans to meet with your ‘FwB’ partner days in advance. This shows that you are prioritizing them as well as scheduling, as if you are in a real relationship; do not be the one to fall in love with a ‘friend with benefits’ partner. The best part about this relationship (aside from the sex) is the spontaneity of the relationship. Don’t be the one who decides to schedule out rendezvous with your partner and avoid seeing your real friends.
The best ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship is with someone whose company you can enjoy.
Both of you know that you are not meant to fall in love. Knowing this, you should still seek an ‘FwB’ partner whom you can get along with. While he/she may be hot and good at sex, it is best to deal with someone whose company you enjoy for conversation or even a drink. This will make the whole experience a lot smoother, as it will keep the sexual tension up throughout the whole ordeal. There’s nothing wrong with some flirting.
This isn’t the type of relationship you should have with your best friend.
While many may argue that guys and girls can’t be just friends, it’s okay to realize that certain people are comfortable in a friendly relationship with a person of the opposite sex. In this case, you must keep in mind that all ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationships have an expiration date.
Therefore, it is difficult to venture into such a relationship and to return to your normal friendship. When the sex ends and all is said and done, it’s going to be very difficult to have a friend whom you used to have lots of sex with, hanging around and acting as if things can just end so easily.
Do not prioritize your ‘Friends with Benefits’ partner.
One of the biggest mistakes people make in a ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship is that they begin to prioritize their partner. This means that they begin to cancel on friends and family in order to be with their ‘Friends with Benefits’ partner.
This is a huge red flag and a sign that you may be moving toward something more serious. If you notice yourself canceling on friends and family, then you are entering the danger zone. End the relationship as soon as possible, as it can get messy from here.
All ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationships have an expiration date.
Unfortunately, the clichéd statement that ‘nothing lasts forever’ is the best way to describe this type of relationship. Of all the relationships you will invest in during your life, the ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship may be one of the shortest you will be involved in. Make sure you both understand that this relationship will end and that it may happen spontaneously.
This is due to the fact that either your partner found another ‘Friend with Benefits’ or they found someone for a more serious relationship. Don’t fight the expiration date, just know that is it part of the game and you can’t do anything about it
The most important step is to have great sexual chemistry with your partner.
The whole point of this relationship is to have great, consistent sex without the emotional taxation of a real relationship. Use this relationship to get what you want, but also to understand that you have to be selfless when it comes to your partner’s orgasms as well. There is no point to this relationship if you’re not getting yours.
The whole reason why you are invested in such a relationship is for the sex. If your partner can’t provide you with a simple orgasm, then you don’t owe them the common courtesy of staying around; go find someone out there that can actually get the job done.
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