The Reasons Why Finding Love In Your 20s Is Impossible

The Reasons Why Finding Love In Your 20s Is Impossible

There is no time more crucial to the outcome of your life quite like your 20s. This is our time to make mistakes, learn and set ourselves up for the rest of our lives. It is without a doubt that we will make some bad decisions during this time, but so long as we take these experiences and learn from them, we should turn out fine.

One of the biggest problems our ADD generation has is actually believing that falling in love in your 20s is a possible feat. Let’s be honest, times have changed and relationships are no longer what they used to be. Love has become just a happy thought in the depths of our minds.

Finding love in your 20s is just impossible and chasing something that doesn’t exist is a complete waste of your time. Don’t put yourself in a bubble and attempt to make something that doesn’t exist work, you will just prolong the process. Get real and be honest with yourself. Here are the reasons why finding love in your 20s is impossible:

Who could say ‘No’ to a Snapchat?


You’re casually sitting at a cafe and your Snapchat notification goes off. You know what awaits you and the temptation is just too much to handle. Nothing like a quick pair of tits to uplift your day. I don’t think any straight man has ever complained about seeing some tits throughout his day.

No one dreams about a stay at home mom in the suburbs when they can have a mistress waiting in their penthouse.

the_billionaire_owners_who_just_bouuht_penthouses_in_one57_nycs_big4eBorn Rich

Life is all about enjoyment and there is nothing less exciting than coming home to the same thing every night. While it is comforting to know that nothing may change drastically, the same lifeless missionary sex can get quite boring. You perform your day-to-day actions better knowing that at the end of the night you have mistress waiting for you to succumb to your every wish.

Social Media is a catch-22.

tumblr_lsrbmctLOy1r1j7xdo1_500Computer Room

It’s either she has a Facebook and has perfected the art of stalking and Facebook whoring or doesn’t have a Facebook at all, which is probably the scariest thing ever. Of course, it’s more comforting to see 3,000 friends and 500 photos than not to know who she associates herself with at all. It’s scary knowing that you can’t see her social life aside from the times you are actually physically with her.

No matter how many times you eat the box, it will never get you a McLaren.


Eating the box is a lose-lose situation. Aside from the time you waste pleasing her, the most you can ever get back out of this situation is head or sex. There are no other returns that you can look forward to. It’s different for a girl, she can suck the right man’s dick and never have to do anything else for the rest of her life, eating the box has never had such returns.

You are subjecting yourself to the worst possible investment.

Screen Shot 2013-09-16 at 10.48.11 AMAndrea Madeo

Relationships only lead to one thing: babies. A baby in your 20s has to be one of the worst things that can happen to you financially. Do you understand how expensive diapers are? Not only that but losing sleep will lead to a lackluster performance in the office. You can’t have anything get in the way of your road to success, especially not a baby.

Unfortunately, you can’t IPO great unprotected sex.


No matter how great the raw sex is, there is no way you can sell it on the NASDAQ. The time you invest in the relationship just for the great raw sex could be used to build up your own company and become something. No amount of sex can compare to the moment of seeing your company ticker on the stock exchange. Trust us, the birds will flock in once the money comes.

Keeping your phone for more than 6 months is difficult and you’re telling yourself you’re going to keep a relationship for longer?

tumblr_m63y1scTxV1r57ixqo1_500_largeWe Heart It

Get real with yourself. This generation can’t sit through a full movie, what makes you think you’re going to be able to pay attention to someone for a long time? Telling yourself it’s going to work out is only prolonging the disappointment. Stay true to yourself and realize that relationships don’t work out.

Because somewhere in the world, this exists.


No matter how great your personality and how much they tell you they love you, they will still leave you for this.

You still haven’t mastered simple economics.


Investing in a stock that completely tanks has a better return than investing in what you believe is love.

The idea is always better than the reality.

New York, I Love You XOXO

The truth always hurt and realizing now that love doesn’t exist will help you cut the bullsh*t and get you to concentrate on achieving your goals. When eating filet mignon, you are so enthralled in the taste that you actually forget the goriness of the slaughterhouse. Although the idea may seem comforting and intriguing, the reality never works out as you plan it.

If you plan on being powerful, prepare to pay.


No one wants to be a pedestrian and one way of ensuring this is making sure you have no distractions. For your hard work, there is nothing more rewarding than treating yourself to some good grade A pussy. If you want to be powerful, you’re going to have to prepare yourself for a life of mistresses.

At the pinnacle of your success, you’re going to want the 2014 La Ferrari not the ’64 Chavelle with a great story and new paint job.


While the ’64 Chavelle will make for a great piece in your garage at home, you don’t want to be seen with it day to day. There are certain things that you have to understand, being a man of great taste and great wealth will only bring you to the world of gorgeous women other men only dream about. At 64, you’re still going to want something that’s younger, faster and tighter.

No matter how good the morning head is, it will never buy you the home of your dreams.

tumblr_m5okzheHpA1qcfl10Awesome Houses

There is nothing quite like starting off your day with some good head; however, you must know that this is only keeping you from achieving your dreams. If you want to achieve all that you have set out for yourself, then you will have to keep yourself from getting comfortable. If you get too comfortable, you will never reach the life of your dreams. Get your nut off and keep it moving.

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Eddie Cuffin

Eddie Cuffin likes to stir up controversy. He is the persona of a man who gets the people talking, with his cynical and satirical take on New York City and American culture.

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