The Reasons Why You Never Want To Marry A Sorority Girl

The Reasons Why You Never Want To Marry A Sorority Girl
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When it comes to dating and marriage, 2013 just isn’t your year. The modern relationship has killed marriage and monogamy.

Maybe all the great prospects have been picked because the older I get, the fewer marriageable prospects I meet. In this case, good things don’t come to those who wait. Maybe I have ridiculous standards, but I don’t want to settle for less when choosing a partner for the rest of my life.

Throughout my college years, I was caught up in the mirage of sorority girls and now I realized I should have been going after the less obvious types. Not the ones stuck in a world of UGG boots, north face jackets and endless supplies of Starbucks. Of course, not every sorority girl is like this, but here are some common traits I found during my time in college that has made me never want to marry a sorority girl:

They’re entitled


Having pledged and gone through the sorority treatment, these girls feel like they’ve earned something. Sorority girls believe they’ve skyrocketed in status as soon as they set foot in the sorority house. The worst part is that this sense of entitlement doesn’t leave the Greek Life bubble.

They drink a lot


They. Get. Tanked. And sometimes they get sloppy, a lot of times really. It’s not that cute now and it won’t be cute at your wedding.

They like attention


They didn’t join a sorority for the ya ya sisterhood. These girls, often enough, enjoy attention. You want to marry an independent woman, not someone who begs you to pay attention to her all the time.

They’re disloyal


Sorority girls don’t exactly have the most pristine reputations when it comes to either friendships or relationships. If you were married, you’d have to wonder if she would stray.

They’re needy


I’ve been to too many sorority parties with a crying girl hugging a bottle of Svedka in the corner.

They think too much of themselves


They’re the queens of campus… until four years go by and it’s all downhill.

They’re messy


Sorority houses, opium dens, pig styes: interchangeable.

They’re immature


Their Greek life gossip will not end at graduation.


They’re lazy


They’ve gotten things handed to them all their lives, and they don’t plan on doing anything different.


They’re unhappy


At the end of the day — after all the parties and booze — I found that the cattiness and constant bitchiness took its toll on the girls. They’re not happy and if they aren’t happy, then how can they make you happy?

For the opposing argument, check out the rebuttal piece: “The 10 Reasons Why You Should Marry A Sorority Woman.”

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Eddie Cuffin

Eddie Cuffin likes to stir up controversy. He is the persona of a man who gets the people talking, with his cynical and satirical take on New York City and American culture.

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