What Your Drink Choice Says About Your Sex Life

What Your Drink Choice Says About Your Sex Life
Sex

We all know how much more fun and exciting sex can be when you are wasted. You let all your inhibitions melt away and you engage in the true carnal nature sex has to offer. I don’t care if you believe this is a myth or not, but after experimenting with endless amounts of alcohol, you all know they offer different kinds of drunk/buzz/blackout. Alcohol changes your personality and the way you conduct yourself, that is a no-brainer.

Since sex and alcohol tend to go hand in hand these days, it should be obvious that the different types of alcohol you ingest will most certainly result in different kinds of sex. Let’s take a look at some of these distinctive scenarios.

Whiskey:

As I’ve heard from various men –  as this seems to be their drink of choice — they love rough, aggressive doggystyle after getting drunk off whiskey. This is a manly drink and doggy is a place where the male can exert his dominance to any extent he wishes. He is in complete control of the situation and lets the girl know it. He isn’t afraid to take what he wants and how he wants it…that is if he can get it up.

Don’t get me wrong, girls love whiskey too and she will probably be more than happy to oblige your controlling techniques…if she isn’t prone to angry sex herself. If you’ve got this type of whiskey bitch on your hands, think mutual spanking, aggressive dirty talk, a rough cowgirl and a whole lot of teasing, hoping to get your whiskey dick going. But remember if it’s not — don’t think you aren’t eating her pussy tonight because YOU ARE.

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Tequila:

We have all heard the saying that “tequila makes her clothes fall off,” well this could not hold truer. You want to experiment? This should be your drink of choice. Let your freak flag fly after throwing back multiple tequila flights. I guarantee you that if you threw a bottle of tequila in a room with three people, a threesome will be happening as soon as the last drop is swallowed, yes pun intended. This sort of sloppiness tends to result in the most adventurous fun.

Wine:

The sexy and sultry buzz that wine gives ensures some great lovemaking. Think intimate teasing with a great follow through. Different kinds of alcohol have different effects on your body and everyone knows that wine makes a girl horny as hell. Wine is the ultimate aphrodisiac and will give you the erotic push to loosen up and enjoy the moment. Be careful though, the more wine you ingest, the more tired you become and you don’t want to fall asleep before you can orgasm.

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Vodka:

The typical drink of choice for 20-somethings. You have all had vodka-induced sex benders and are aware of the inhibitor releasing effects this liquor has on you. This beverage will make you run your mouth and become aggressive. Flirting is taken up a notch when you’re tipsy off vodka. There is also an ever-present numbing effect people experience in their vodka state of mind. You’re on your A game when you’re f*cked up on never-ending vodka shots.

Rum:

Everyone loves a good ol’ shot of Captain Morgan or a glass of rum and coke, ain’t no question about it. The sex that arises after consumption of rum can be thought of as sloppy/silly sex, filled with a lot of laughing and fumbles. The best kind of sex is when you are completely comfortable with the other person. This kind of drunk more than allows for that since you both will more than likely be laughing as you trip over each other as you try and rip each other’s clothes off.

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Beer:

Ah, the sloppy, messy and lazy sex this alcohol elicits. No one is trying to get all hot and heavy when they are rocking a beer belly. If your girl is unwillingly to get on top, this is definitely not the way to get her there. Beer makes you become so full that you turn into a sluggish and lethargic lover. Chances are you will spend half the night running to the bathroom since beer makes you pee like a racehorse.

Everclear:

Welcome to blackout central! Chances are you will end up doing something sexually that you will later regret. This is instant blackout in a glass, as it is 198 proof. Be careful when drinking this type of liquor as people tend to do some pretty f*cked up sh*t when they are in a black out state. The actions you display when under the influence can vary since this buzz is highly dependent upon the mental state you were in when you began drinking.

If you were in a bad mood, chances are this will make you angry. Happy? Hopefully you will be getting laid at the end of the night, not like you will remember anyway — oh well, you still got laid, didn’t you?

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Champagne:

Although strictly drinking champagne for an entire night won’t black you out the way vodka or tequila will, the buzz it gives is one of a kind. Nothing speaks of romance and class quite like this drink does. The sex that follows the intake of champagne is that of fiery passion. There is a reason this is the way people choose to celebrate milestones and accomplishments with this beverage.

Jägermeister:

JÄGER BOMBS. One thing comes to mind with this type of alcohol — messy, all over the place, hardcore f*cking. This is the frat boy, protein powder type of pounding. When you’re hammered off jäger bombs, ain’t nobody got time for foreplay. It’s all about the down and dirty. Clothes flying, underwear ripping, hardcore banging — this is blackout central, population you and whomever you’re bouncing on.

 

*Bonus* ABSINTHE

Everyone has seen the movie “Eurotrip,” so the reputation for this beverages more than precedes itself. This peculiar green drink gives people the illusion that they are WAYYYYYY more f*cked up than they actually are, since they are under the impression that a green little fairy is straight chilling on their shoulders.

Serving as a drug, narcotic and hallucinogen, there are many wild claims of the effects this drink has on people. Be careful because too much consumption of this may result in you banging your twin.

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Amanda Redwood

Amanda Redwood spares no feelings. This persona deals with dating and sex in the most crass and blunt ways possible, making sure that you stay entertained as well as informed.

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