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The Truth Is That You Must First Love Yourself Before You Can Love Another

He or she is the most wonderful person you have met. Everything seems perfect, nearly too good to be true.

You are truly happy; your glow is visible from miles away. All of your friends love this new person in your life, aside from one or two skeptics. Regardless, you try to convince yourself that the naysayers are wrong.

Time passes and the relationship has begun to plateau, even decline. Over time, the thoughts of those skeptical friends begin to resonate even more deeply. Still, something in you is crying for you to hold on, to not give up just yet.

Love Yourself First

Healthy relationships occur between two people who are comfortable with themselves, in addition to one another. Love only develops after making your own happiness a top priority.

The majority of us are so scared to accept our flaws that we often fall in love while in relationships for the wrong reasons.

Whether it is to battle loneliness, settle down to appeal to comfort or to ease away pain, happiness means much more when it's obtained as a result of working toward becoming the person you want to be.

Self-growth is quite sexy; it leads to thorough self-awareness and healthier, more realistic aspirations of desires in a significant other. Be selfish; focus on you.

Over the years, people change. Be the one who progresses, not the one who regresses. Learn what makes you strive for greatness, what makes you angry, what makes you tick, what makes you live for more — your goals, passions, disappointments.

Get out of your comfort zone, empower your thoughts, explore your dreams, succeed continuously, fail until you hit rock bottom. Once you have achieved this mindfulness, your union with another individual will more likely flourish rather than set you back.

Time is the only game no human will ever master; we cope with this by pressing forward, no matter the circumstances that arise.

How many times have you gotten mad at yourself for missing opportunities, chances, people or for being stuck in the past and allowing it to compromise your future?

Live a little, learn more about yourself and start smiling; gain a greater understanding of who you want to be and love that person. Happiness needs to be your biggest project and it only requires one set of hands: your own.


Long Run

We often focus too much on the now and too little on the future. The present should feel right; it should be enjoyed in the moment. It should not be lived for the purpose of filling a void.

This void does nothing but provide temporary peace of mind to satisfy emotional needs born out of exerting effort.

Once that hollow space appears, a replacement will find its way in. Create the opportunity to control what makes you happy. Managing your personal contentment and prosperity should be a lifestyle choice.

Tailor your dreams and hang on to the one that makes you, you.

Change can only come from within; otherwise, it won't be permanent. We should concentrate on changes that push us and make us strive to feel blessed. If you find yourself in a position in which you constantly want your significant other to change, it's probably time to cut losses.

Often, we try to mend other's scars by taking their lashes while succumbing to a fantasy in which love can heal all pain. Focus on recovering from your wounds before trying to patch up someone else's.

Nobody is perfect, but there is a fine line between denying reality and settling for less simply to temporarily feel good. Start living without regrets, only live with learned lessons.


Dig Deep

I recently realized that you attract what you are. You know that feeling when meeting somebody and you instantly have chemistry? That instant, magnetic connection that's overwhelming and difficult to ignore? The one that stimulates all your senses but cannot be explained?

If you are awesome, you will attract awesomeness. If you are a mess, you will attract a mess. Work on your issues to become self aware about where you have room for improvement.

There is nothing more gratifying than adjusting the side-view mirror on your life to look back and see how much you've grown.

Strive to be in a relationship in which both parties have discovered themselves independently. Trying to find this clarity from someone else will lead to a downward spiral of inconsistent contentment.

Dig deep within to demonstrate your worth. It is perfectly okay to be single and to love yourself.

The status of “in a relationship” should not reflect a dependency on someone else, but rather, the power of togetherness. Be careful and be picky with whomever has the honor to hold your heart. Make your destiny a destination of choice, not chance.

Focus on obtaining experiences that will benefit you in the long run. After all, happiness is an individual state of mind that is in your possession. You hold the key to the lock that is life. Beware of love and do allow access to any unworthy individual.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It

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Ricardo Martinez

Contributor

Ricardo is an internet marketer by day, gym enthusiast/rom- com lover and wannabe chef by night. Growing up a quadruplet made him realize he had to move away to find his own identity. Even though life's answers are still a discovery process, he ...
Ricardo is an internet marketer by day, gym enthusiast/rom- com lover and wannabe chef by night. Growing up a quadruplet made him realize he had to move away to find his own identity. Even though life's answers are still a discovery process, he ...

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