Do Women Have An Expiration Date?

Do Women Have An Expiration Date?

Nothing lasts forever in this world, and an obvious validation to this concept is the fact that all women have an expiration date. Just like milk and bananas, after a certain time period women go rotten, both physically and mentally. Have you ever drank expired milk? Or seen what happens to a banana if you leave it out too long?

The milk tastes terrible and will get you sick if you drink it. The banana gets all black and somehow, out of nowhere five thousand gnats appear on it. This is very similar to what happens to women in this world. Many women actually think they can stay sexy and beautiful forever but what they don’t realize is that their peak of beauty lasts less than 15 minutes and then it’s all down hill from there.

No man likes a lady that is broken in any way, and lucky for us men we don’t break until later on in life, like around our 60s. Women, however, break very fast and often. We have known many women who have been beautiful a few years ago but now are not even bearable to look at.

It all comes down to the z score curve. What goes up must come down at some point. Some ladies lose their looks faster than others. We know girls who were hot when they were 16 but are now STD infested 21 year olds that we wouldn’t even want our worst enemies to touch.

Mankind has never known a woman that has been hot forever, and we honestly feel bad for any girl who is in the peak of her looks because it’s safe to say that a woman is only as relevant as her face, boobs and ass. Once she gets around the block, she becomes broke, addicted to drugs and turns into what is known today as damaged goods.

The pressure is always on women to constantly make sure that they are good looking enough to be presented to the outside world, which is why they take 4 hours to get dressed to even get coffee every morning.

The best part about this is that us men really don’t care. We don’t care because there is a girl turning 18 every day and she is younger, tighter and hotter than those expiring by the minute. And of course these women are attracted to older men. This forces women in their late 20s to compete with college girls for the men that are supposed to take care of them.

The theory of the expiration date is one of the main reasons why I can never have a girlfriend. It is scary to think that if I start dating someone who is currently hot, two years down the line she will have lost her looks and I might not even notice until it’s too late. I would be forced to look at all the hot women walking down the street who are just waiting to be taken, and there would be nothing I could do about it. Fuck.

Why waste our time as men on one girl when eventually she is no longer going to be anywhere near as hot as she was when you met her? We are in our prime, so it only makes sense that we should conquer as many different women who are also in their prime at the same time.

Do you keep expired milk in your refrigerator after it gets old? No, you throw it away and you need to do the same with women after their prime is dead and gone.

Preston Waters | Elite.  

Share Tweet
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Preston Waters

Preston Waters is a thinker. He's not your traditional philosophical persona, however, as he leaves no topic untouched. Covering all the bases, from business to women, Preston Waters is the ultimate man's man for Gen-Y.

Original Video

Everything You Need To Know About Marijuana

Jesus has risen, but how high did he get? While Easter and 4/20 falling on the same day is most definitely a weird coincidence, it will also highlight a pretty important public opinion on what’s more important: weed or candy eggs? Sto...

More In Sex

Sex Sabrina Cugliari

Why Hook-Up Culture Is Not The Problem With The Gen-Y Dating Game

If I never hear the term “hook-up culture” again, it will be too soon. Everything that is seemingly wrong with our generation has been attributed to the above phrase. Do you have a fear of intimacy? Are you unable to take responsibility for your actions? Blame it on the hook-up culture. A certain moral panic has […]

Sex Paul Hudson

The Torture Of Loving A Person Who Doesn’t Love You Back

The first woman I ever fell in love with didn’t feel the same way about me. This wasn’t some sort of crush either. I really did fall in love and she really didn’t care for me that much. Sure, we would see each other pretty regularly. She was happy to see me, but not exactly […]

Sex Bridget Boland

Is It Time To Call It Quits? When To Know A Relationship Is Over

We are the generation twice removed from the Cleavers; the aftermath of the rise in divorce rates. We have seen all kinds of relationships modeled for us. In some ways, this transparency of what happens in other marriages is helpful, but it also creates uncertainties when trying to create our own. Being a member of Gen-Y can feel like you […]

Sex Paul Hudson

Why Being Loved Is Not The Same As Being Understood

Most people are looking for that one person whom they can love and who can love them – that one person who will be there for them, care for them and understand them. Being understood is often confused with being loved; the two aren’t the same. Most people assume that those whom they love, they […]

Sex Audrey Swanson

The 11 Things You Learn From Being The Only Single Friend

Maybe you’ve glanced around recently and found yourself as the only person in your friend group not frolicking into a new romantic venture. It’s like spring is the season of new boyfriends or something. Trust me, being the single friend is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. It just means your […]

Also On Elite


Bill O’Reilly Asks John Calipari How He Coaches Players That Listen To Rap (Video)

John Calipari, coach of the recently eliminated Kentucky Wildcats men’s basketball team, was on Bill O’Reilly’s show to hawk a book called “Players First: Coaching From the Inside Out.” This is the book in which Calipari reveals his secret ability to enter players’ minds, and control their thoughts and actions from within them. Bill O’Reilly […]

Music News

Drop The Beat, Not The Blunt: The Ten Best DJ Tweets About 4/20

Happy Holidays! We mean 4/20, of course. In the wise words of Damien Marley: “4/20 isn’t something you really prepare for, it’s just something you do.” It’s a way of life that’s quite familiar to most of your favorite EDM artists. We’ve gathered together some of the most hilarious tweets (or at least the ones […]


Then And Now: How 2014′s Kentucky Wildcats Are Topping Michigan’s Fab Five Of 1992

Even if there’s good reason to do so, it feels borderline sacrilegious to compare John Calipari’s Kentucky Wildcats to the Fab Five freshmen of Michigan University’s 1991-92 men’s basketball team. After all, the phenomenal group of first-year students that descended upon Michigan’s Ann Arbor campus in the Fall of ’91 was the first of its […]