There’s a combination of three words that all people, at some point in their lives, has to articulate – and that’s simply “I love you.” These three words compose the most dangerous phrase in the English language, and should only be used in one instance…letting your mother know how much you appreciate her.
The problem with this phraseology is the absolute cliché it has become. Professed love should be of your own volition, not demanded by needy women to feed their insecurities in order to feel special.
Love is a concept outside of the grasp of human consciousness, and shouldn’t be tossed around carelessly just because she can make your toes curl and your eyes roll back. That’s not love.
Men don’t even really know what love means, nor do we even know how to handle it properly, which is why none of us should pigeonhole ourselves by saying these words. We are insatiable creatures on the prowl who manage to fall in love every time a girl walks by us and we decide to stare.
We choose to be short-term lovers because of our attention spans and our need to explore new women as well. Do you know how many times I have heard my friends say they love a girl, start dating her, only to call me two weeks later and tell me how bored they are?
And that is how men are, myself included. In the beginning, we are driven to really try to go above and beyond for a girl that we like, but that love is temporary — very temporary.
Humans were never meant to love for long periods of time, monogamy is an unnatural condition, which is why we sleep with a multitude of women and are praised by other men for it. We’re quite simple: we love new women, we impress them, we sleep with them, we get bored of them and we leave.
Most men know that after we have sex, we want to kick her out of the bed like she has cooties. That’s because we’re driven by sex and wish to get the short-term pleasure we seek…and that doesn’t involve love.
Love is a long-term thing, it is a big responsibility and it actually means you have to start worrying about and carrying about someone other than yourself. Their problems become your problems and you have to start dealing with things with which you don’t want to deal.
Love is running to the store to get her tampons, it’s having dinner with her parents and it’s having to pick her up after work some days. It’s none of the things we actually want to do because they require a lot more effort then we originally planned to put in, which is why relationships grow stale.
These three words are dangerous for the simple fact that we don’t really know what they mean. How many times can you actually say you have been properly in love with someone?
Maybe once? But not really more, and chances are that love experience soured and led to a lot of fighting that turned a good thing into a miserable relationship that sucked the energy out of both parties involved. We’re not too good at this love thing and if real love means being committed and faithful to a girl, then everyone who is supposedly in love can’t be because they all cheat and have mistresses.
So, in essence, we are being forced into something by society and women that we don’t want to be a part of — not at least while we are in our prime, our looks are impeccable and women are attracted to us now more than ever. Why let that go to waste on just one girl that we eventually are going to end it with anyway because we see no “future”?
The words ‘I trust you’ should mean a lot more than ‘I love you’ nowadays because they demonstrate a commitment to fidelity where ‘love’ is just an abstraction extorted and distorted by movies that have made us believe it is real.
Love does exist, but I believe it only exists in advanced ages when we have already gotten all of our polygamous ways out of our system. But do we still desire the women our age or are we looking for someone younger?
Love scares us all. We have seen it stripped away from us just as quickly as it came into our lives. We have all been hurt before, have been vulnerable before and have all had our little hearts crushed. Sure we have built walls around us to guard us from it happening again, but instead of worrying about it, we should make sure we don’t fall into the trap of allowing something that is supposed to be short-term be long-term.
Men are idiots…it’s that simple, we make stupid decisions based on our libidos. We think we are in love when we find a girl who is cool, is great in bed and will watch a Knicks game with us.
But that’s not love, that’s simply lust and that’s the mistake we all tend to make. If we give someone our trust, it should mean more to her than our love because our love never lasts once the lust is over.
*This article has been edited to exclude potentially explicit content
Preston Waters | Elite.