These Are The Differences Between A Doomed Relationship And One That Can Be Saved
As much as we might think that the perfect relationship exists — and that you know it right from the start — that ideal may not even be real. If it is, I haven't found it yet. People are complicated creatures, particularly when they are trying to connect with one another.
If your relationship doesn't feel like it's exactly where it should be, that doesn't mean it's doomed. Communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to grow together are all signs your relationship can be saved. And while it's true that not every single relationship is worth saving, there are definitely those that are worth giving it a go at least.
If you are in doubt about whether you and your partner have what it takes to recover your relationship, then look no further. These are the qualities of a relationship worth saving.
1. You And Your Partner Are Sensitive To One Another's Needs
If you are not happy in the relationship because your partner is not happy, that might actually be great news. If the relationship didn't actually matter to either of you or if you lacked a true, sustainable emotional connection, then you would be able to go about your business with little concern for your partner's feelings. Your relationship can be saved up until the point where somebody no longer cares.
In order to be mutually invested in a relationship, you both have to have a lot of empathy for one another. And if you are directly feeling the impact of your partner's unhappiness, then you will want to make some changes in your relationship.
As long as there is still a strong connection between you and your partner, the relationship is not over. And while one or both of you can cut that connection intentionally, until you do so, there is time and space for you to accommodate one another and improve the quality of your relationship.
2. Your Relationship Is About More Than Sex
There is so much I like about sex. One of my favorite things about it is that great sex can be learned! If you and your partner have a strong emotional and intellectual connection but you find that your relationship is physically lacking, then that definitely means your relationship can be saved — as long as you are willing to experiment.
Your performance in bed is just that: a performance. As long as the desire and interest is there, you can figure out how to fill your partner's needs. Plus, you'll take pleasure in your partner's satisfaction.
Try initiating more eroticism in your routine. Flirt and sext throughout the day. Plan to make a nice meal together, and give one another massages after work. If stress from places outside of the relationship — like work or school — are making sex less of a priority for you, then communicate that to your partner, so they know what's going on. They might even help you come up with some strategies to relieve your burden.
3. You And Your Partner Are Willing To Move Forward With Change
Disclaimer: A relationship that requires you to bend over backward to accommodate your partner is potentially codependent, and definitely no good. If your relationship is built on codependency, you may be able to patch it up temporarily, but I'm not sure if it can be saved.
Change is going to happen in your relationship, though, one way or another. It's what comes with time and with being close to another person. You have to be able to adapt to new circumstances that life brings you.
If the change you and your partner are facing involves a major life event, such as the death of a parent, graduating from school, or one of you needing to move out of state for a job, then it might have placed distance between you and your partner or stress on the relationship.
Your relationship can be saved, though, as long as you and your partner are able to talk through what's going on and how it's impacting you with mutual respect and honesty. Ask yourself what you can do to repair the rifts that these changes have caused.
4. You Are Both Open And Willing To Communicate Your Wants And Needs
Earlier in this piece, I said that when you are connected to your partner, you'll likely feel what they are feeling. Obviously, this connection doesn't happen through intuition alone. If you can communicate your unhappiness to your partner or understand your partner's unhappiness when they share it with you, then your relationship can be saved.
When you can communicate with your partner in a healthy way, then you can care, listen, and be there for one another without allowing bitterness, jealousy, or your ego to take over. You can be sensitive to your partner's emotional state and speak honestly to them, without being brutal.
As long as both of you can listen to each other and really hear what the other is saying, with open minds and respectful hearts, then your relationship has an optimistic outlook. Because whoever said that honest communication is the backbone of a relationship really wasn't kidding.
5. You Feel Safe And Secure With Your Partner
Bottom line: You don't want to be with a partner who brings out your insecurities. You don't want to be with someone who makes you feel unlovable. You don't want to spend your life with a person who makes you question your self-worth.
Yes, everybody has unhealed insecurities from their past. Yes, these insecurities do come out in a relationship, and just because they do so, doesn't mean the relationship is doomed. As long as you and your partner are not actively using your insecurities against one another, then the relationship can still be saved.
In an unhealthy relationship, partners may manipulate one another's weaknesses to get what they want. For example, if you are insecure about somebody cheating on you, a manipulative partner will play up that fear by flirting with other people in front of you or alluding to how desirable they are to other people.
In a healthy relationship, you will probably still have insecurities. However, you will be able to work on healing your insecurities yourself because your partner will go out of their way to avoid triggering them. As long as you can both embrace each other, be real and honest, kind and open, then your relationship will survive. And if you have room to heal within your love, then it will do even more than merely survive. It will thrive, too.
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