If You Start Talking About These 9 Things, Your Relationship Is Getting Serious
The beginning stages of dating are pretty exciting, but there's nothing like getting to that deeper level of love and trust with someone. It can be hard to tell exactly when the transition from casual relationship to a serious relationship happens, though, but it usually takes lots of conversation and self-revelation to get there.
Many times, when couples are starting to move past the beginning stages, these particularly intense conversations help them truly assess their fit for one another. Here is a list of some of the topics couples who are getting serious will talk about. If you and your partner start having some of these chats, chances are you'll be moving toward a serious relationship soon.
1. Your Childhood And Families
My husband and I had lengthy conversations about our childhoods and families as soon as we got together.
Talking about the way you grew up or the way your family is with each other are two very personal things. When you start getting serious with someone and want to discuss these things, it's usually because you want to let them in emotionally.
If you and your partner have spoken a lot about your personal histories and you know how each of you spent your younger years, this is a surefire sign the two of you are getting serious.
2. Your Dreams
Dreams are scary things. And sharing our dreams with other people is an even scarier thing. When we dream about accomplishing something, we're admitting to ourselves that it's something to work toward. We're also admitting that we might fail.
Talking about something like this with a significant other is a really vulnerable thing to do, because we risk getting made fun of or having our dreams trivialized. (Of course, this won't happen in a healthy, loving relationship.) So when you and your partner are heading in a serious direction, you'll certainly be talking to each other about your personal dreams for things you'd like to do in your life.
3. Your Hardest Moments In Life
An open, committed couple doesn't only talk about the good things. They also talk about the bad moments that made them who they are. Within a week of dating, my husband and I had already told each other about the hardest moments we've ever experienced in our lives. It allowed us to bond, grow, and (even better) lift each other up and remind the other person that we loved them.
If your relationship is getting super serious, the two of you will open up about the difficult things you've been through. And it'll bring you closer together.
4. Your Worst Traits
Along with talking about our most difficult moments we had ever experienced, my husband and I also opened up to each other about our worst personality traits. This was considerably harder, but we both felt like it was a necessary thing to do if we truly wanted a future together. Although I think we were both nervous as to how the other would react, we both were relieved to find that the other didn't think our worst traits were that bad — and that we were still loved.
A true, loving couple that is going in the direction of something serious will be open about the worst parts of themselves. After all, when you get serious, this stuff will come out anyway, so it's better to be straight up about it.
5. Your Thoughts On Marriage
My husband and I went from first date to married in eight weeks. Although this isn't common, what is common is for couples to start generally discussing their thoughts on marriage as they get more serious.
I wasn't a huge fan of commitment before, so my husband was understandably nervous as to how I might feel about marriage. Before we actually talked about getting married, we talked about our thoughts on marriage in general.
It's not uncommon for couples to start kicking around the idea of marriage long before they actually do it. And if this sounds like you and your partner, you're definitely heading in a serious direction.
6. Your View On Kids
In a relationship that is getting more serious, you'll definitely start chatting about how you each feel about kids so you can see if your views match up. Do you want them or are you happily child-free want to continue to be? How do you feel about adopting? What about helping with siblings' kids?
Even if it's way too early to start talking about your actual plans for children, the two of you probably want to at least know the other's feelings on the concept of kids as a whole. You may end up talking about it in relation to your own childhoods, but either way, if a future between you two is in the cards, you'll likely talk about it eventually.
7. Your Plans For The Future
My husband knew when he married me that I wanted to go back to traveling full-time as soon as I could. It's a big, intense lifestyle choice, and it wouldn't have been fair not to tell him.
Similarly, if you and your partner are getting pretty serious, you'll definitely start throwing around your plans for the future, nonchalantly or otherwise. If you're contemplating a move to a new state or even to a different country, you might have already thrown this into a casual conversation to see how your love reacts.
Ideally, talking about your plans for the future will help the two of you bond and grow together.
8. Your Finances
Finances are not a fun topic to chat about, but they are a necessary one. Early on in a relationship, you probably won't be discussing all the dirty details of your finances, like how much money you owe and how much you make, but you probably will discuss finances generally — whether you like to save more or spend, whether you're good at budgets, and other things like that.
It makes sense that two people moving toward a more serious relationship would start discussing this topic. Finances are a serious (though not-so-romantic) part of life, and if a future with someone is potentially in the cards, knowing how you mesh financially is crucial.
9. Your Feelings
You might be reading this and thinking "duh!" but the truth is, couples that are getting serious share their feelings in a really different way than casual couples. For example, at the very early stages of dating, you might tell your partner "I like this" or "I don't like that," but it's only when you start to get more serious that you go deeper with those feelings and why you feel them.
At a more committed level, you'll start to tell your partner your feelings about serious things happening in the world and your feelings about them in particular (the good, the bad, and everything in between). You'll be more open and honest about those touchy things because you'll trust they won't abandon you for feeling a certain way.
Getting into a new relationship is definitely exciting, but staying in that relationship to watch it grow and become more serious is one of the best things you'll ever experience. And when you start having some of these more serious conversations, you'll know you aren't far from a true connection.
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