It’s Always Been Her: Why You Should Love The Girl Who Waited For You
Those most deserving of our love and affection are too often overlooked. But to be fair, we aren't always aware we're overlooking them.
People enter our lives only to later leave them. Some stay for years, others for decades, some for minutes and hours. And then, you have those very few who will stay with you for a lifetime.
Many of us are lucky enough to have parents who remain a part of our lives – if not, then maybe a brother, or sister, or cousins.
Then there are those of us with close friends who have been with us through thick and thin, friends who we often don't even distinguish from family.
Yet, when it comes to lovers, we seem to value novelty and mystery over loyalty and dedication.
As with all things in life, if you give trivial things importance, you will come to regret those decisions.
Looking for the wrong things in a partner or giving value to certain characteristics rather than the more important ones will cause your relationship to fail.
It's true. Sometimes we meet the love of our lives at the right time, fall deeply in love and manage to make it work. But that isn't always the case.
Sometimes, we fall in love with someone who has been in our lives for years. She may be an old friend. She may be an old lover or ex. Whoever she is, she's a constant, caring presence in your life.
She's loved you for a long time.
She may not have always loved you romantically, but she is intrigued by the idea. Or maybe she's always loved you with every bit of her being.
Maybe she fell in love with you and couldn't get herself to stop loving you.
Maybe she tried over and over again, but was never able to find a man who would make her feel as good about herself as you used to make her feel.
This is the deepest of loves. If she's loved you for years and years, and hasn't been able to let go of you, it must be love.
When love stands the test of time, it grows and changes. It often loses its intensity, its naivety and becomes something more complete.
She will never leave or abandon you. You've become such a big part of her life – even if you two have spent years, worlds apart – that she will never lose the piece of you she carries with her.
If this is not the type of woman you're looking for, then you don't know what you're looking for.
She understands you.
Most of the world is in disarray due to a lack of proficient communication skills.
People have lengthy conversations, debates even, every day without ever understanding one another.
Couples very rarely understand each other. And usually when they understand each other enough, they don't like what they understand.
But not her. She's known you and your ways for so long that she understands you, often much better than you understand yourself.
She sees the “you” that you either don't wish to see or aren't able to see. She sees all your flaws, all your weaknesses and all your beauty and strength. She sees you and understands you.
Most of you reading this aren't yet able to understand what this level of understanding is – you've yet to experience it.
Believe me, you'll know when you do. It's the weirdest thing, but when you find someone who understands you at your deepest levels, you somehow understand him or her just the same.
Because she waited.
She's lived her life, from the moment she fell for you, with you in mind. It's not that she's lived for you; she's lived for herself.
Yet, she's seen you in just about everything she's done. Her present links back to her fondest memories, and it just so happens that in most of those memories, there you are.
Patience is most certainly a virtue, but this has nothing to do with patience.
In fact, there were surely times when she ran out of patience and fell to her bed crying, not being able to handle the reality she's found herself in. She waited because she's had no choice.
Waiting doesn't necessarily mean sitting in place with your hands folded, and your legs crossed.
No matter what she did in life, whom she dated, whom she slept with, whom she fell in love with, you were always there in her heart.
It's when the heart waits, when it refuses to let go, that it knows it has found something real.
Call it heart, call it mind, her entire being has decided you were too incredible to let go of.
Chances are, you feel the same – or could feel the same if you allowed yourself to.
Sometimes, we don't take the right person for granted. Sometimes, we ourselves are struggling to forget them and move.
Other times, we are too afraid to see and act on what's right in front of our eyes.
This is your story – you write it as you go. How it ends depends on how it begins and how it progresses. Happy endings take a lifetime to create.