Relationships

43 Thoughts You Have When You're Being Ghosted

by Blair Thill

Can someone please explain to me why ghosting has become the most popular way of breaking up?

I never thought I’d actually pine for the days when someone would look at me and say, “I think we’re better off as friends.” Or even, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Sure, it’s cliché, but at least it shows that someone cared enough about you to lie.

Ghosting is, quite frankly, the coward’s way out. Instead of facing the music and being honest — giving the other person the peace of mind to know he or she really was more than just a blip on your radar — you vanish into thin air, never to be heard from again.

If this had happened 10 years ago you’d have been convinced there was magic at play. But with so many social media sites and dating apps nowadays, you KNOW that the person is still out there. He’s eating tacos with his bros. She’s catching the bouquet at her best friend’s wedding. Everything that person does taunts you.

The process of being ghosted usually follows a pattern. First, communication starts waning. No actual dates have been planned, just noncommittal allusions to what you might do in the future. Then, one day, the other person disappears, never to be heard from again. You send around six unanswered text messages. After one full week you finally realize that you’ve been ghosted.

Many thoughts run through your head once that final realization hits. Here are 43 of them.

1. Maybe he lost his phone.

2. No, MY phone is probably broken. I’m going to text my BFF to make sure.

3. Oh, that text went through. How strange.

4. It says my messages to him were delivered. Also strange.

5. Oh my God, am I getting ghosted?

6. That can't be possible. No way.

7. Maybe something is legit wrong.

8. Did he die?

9. How would I even find out if he died?

10. I’ll search the Internet for his obituary.

11. What was his hometown again?

12. Unless he goes by another name, all signs point to NOT dead.

13. OMG he has a girlfriend, doesn’t he?

14. I’m the other woman.

15. But he could just be on vacation or out of the country.

16. Or maybe his dog died?

17. I’m going to investigate on Facebook.

18. No “In Memoriam” pics of the dog, but plenty of pics of him and women of questionable morals.

19. Is this because I changed the subject when he asked if he had a receding hairline?

20. Nah, he’s probably just playing hard to get.

21. I won’t text him either. I’ll shift the balance of power.

22. Since when has that ever worked?

23. WTF? I thought we had a really awesome time together.

24. Whatever, he was moody most of the time.

25. He isn’t even THAT cute.

26. I bet he has a terrible ex-girlfriend who made him emotionally unavailable.

27. But maybe I can make him believe in love again!

28. I’m gonna text him “hey” and see how he responds.

29. OK, he hasn’t responded.

30. He is a terrible person.

31. He deserves everything his ex did to him.

32. I hate him and want to report him to the police for being A MURDERER OF LOVE.

33. He definitely wasn’t a good kisser anyway. Dodged a bullet.

34. Definitely dodged a bullet.

35. I just KNOW I’m going to run into him someday and THEN what am I going to do?!?

36. I’m going to have to put on makeup every time I leave the house.

37. Ugh, I’m going to die alone.

38. NO! Do not let that twerp get you down.

39. Welp, I guess it’s time to get back on those apps.

40. I still hope he somehow becomes an actual ghost.

41. Why would I EVER let someone like him question who I am as a person?

42. I’m awesome.

43. BYE LOSER.

Falling in and out love is all a part of being human. Like love, magic is a drug. CLICK HERE to catch up now on The Magicians and see why millions have been hooked.