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True Love: 9 Signs You Might Be In A Real-Ationship

Let’s take a second to think about your relationship right now.

Have your textual exchanges gone from the super SUPER cute, “no i miss U more!!,” to the equally cute, “is there any more of the chicken from last night because homegirl is hungry?”

Have you considered having him meet your parents, or worse, has he met them and do they already love him?

Do you find yourselves conjoining Netflix accounts because you guys really don’t need to be paying separately each month to watch “Friends?”  Speaking of friends, you two don’t seem to have many anymore, do you?

Guess what? Your relationship has definitely grown from a race to find someone (relay-tionship) to an actual mature real-ationship!

Congratulations! You have outgrown the days of cute, emoji-filled texts and instead, your inbox is filled with logistical texts and emojis that include, but are not limited to, the eggplant and the sassy pink shirt girl (we named her Becca).

Don’t mistake this level of maturity for a boring relationship; you haven’t lost your spark, rather, you’ve learned not to play with fire. You contain your flame to last through a cold winter’s night, and you use it to comfort each other.

With the transitions of your conversations changing from sneaky flirty texts to asking if he’s really a 34 in pants or if he might bulk up later in the month, your relationship is definitely going to see some changes.

Sometimes, you won’t be able to see these changes right away, so here are a few signs to help you figure out if your fling is turning into a real-ationship:

1. Your Significant Other Generally Has His Or Her Sh*t Together.

Your significant other is not a child anymore; he’s not the one guy with the undeclared humanities major, the girl who can’t decide what to eat for dinner and makes you choose (again) or the one you can’t seem to reach at the end of the month because he or she forgot to pay the phone bill.

Your significant other has a job, a means of transportation and can spot you for that cup of coffee.

Sure, you might have invested in him or her in the beginning, but clearly, he or she has grown into someone reliable. You don’t have to worry about everything he or she owns being liquidated! Hooray!


2. Your Conversations Have Gone From Flirty To Logistical.

Remember those days when your heart would stop a little when you saw his or her name pop up on your phone?

You’d do your best not to pounce at your phone because you don’t want to look needy, but you also didn’t want to play games.

You would tell yourself, “Okay after I finish reading this page in my textbook I will text back,” and then you would read so fast that you 200 percent did not absorb any material whatsoever.

Ah, the good ol’ days.

Your texts these days are looking a lot less “omg u r so sweet stop” and it’s totally okay. Your relationship isn’t getting boring; it’s getting more mature.

The courting stage is over, and you don’t need to attempt to send the “butterflies in your stomach” feeling with every textual exchange.

Instead, you guys talk about real things, like the future, your careers, your families and you’re able to talk about these things because you’re not in the stage where you’re still too timid to say the wrong things to each other.

Of course, this isn’t to say that your exchanges should be bland; a sext in the middle of the day can be appreciated (know your audience though, lol).


3. You’re Included In Family And Holi-Bae Plans.

The first time you met the parents, you were so nervous. Was your dress too short? Did you say something stupid? Will the parents like you?

Somehow, with or without some liquid courage (I don’t judge), you got through the first meeting and now they love/tolerate you enough to the point that you won’t even get a second thought on the invite.

His or her mom calls you first and asks you to come to Nana’s 84th birthday party.


4. You Plan Trips And Weekend Bae-cations.

(Wow I’m really on a roll with these “bae” puns, I’m sorry.)

These trips are planned, where you guys drive or fly somewhere, just the two of you.

You go on road trips or weekend getaways without your friends. You guys do mature adult things like hike or go to Portland or get massages (idk). They’re fun; they’re like really long dates.


5. “So… Are You Guys Facebook Official?”

I know, it sounds really dumb and slightly outdated, but with our generation, technology and social media dictates a huge portion of our lives, whether we like it or not.

Now, I’m not going to so far as to say that your relationship doesn’t exist if it’s not a life event on his Facebook (but honestly, does it?), however, in regard to technology and your relationship, let me break it down for you:

If you guys have been together for a good while, yet for some reason, he or she won’t post a photo of you guys on social media, don’t freak out.

Maybe he or she’s just inactive on social media or doesn’t like posting pictures. Everyone has reasons, so don’t jump to conclusions and start accusing him or her of being ashamed of you.

However, if you find yourself posting photos of him or her and he or she immediately untags or even gets upset that you posted something of the two of you, then it might be time to question what his deal is.

The bottom line is that you do not need to be present on each other’s social media consistently, but it shouldn’t be an issue if you do decide to present yourselves as a couple.

You don’t have to tell people explicitly that you’re together, but they should know. Make sense?


6. What Is A Password?

From Netflix to Hulu, to the lock screen on his or her phone, passwords just don’t exist between the two of you anymore.

That’s great news! That means you have won his or her trust! Don’t abuse your powers though because that can get really ugly.


7. He Or She Can Leave His Or Her Phone Unattended.

The beginning of a relationship can call for uneasiness; maybe you guys haven’t yet established if this was an “exclusive” thing, maybe he was still receiving texts from his psycho ex or maybe she is really good friends with this guy since elementary school.

This period of time calls for doubt and anxiety, making you question yourself and your actions when your love interest would leave the room and leave his or her phone on the table.

Your relationship has ripened, and now, when he or she goes to the bathroom and leaves the iPhone behind, take it as a sign of maturity in your relationship.

If a phone is left unattended, it is not an invitation for you to look through it! If you snoop for no justifiable reason, I do not feel sorry for you if you get caught.


8. You Can Wake Up At His Or Her Place When He Or She Isn’t There.

You know you’re the booty call if you sleep over and he wakes you up a few hours later because he has to go to work at 6am. Yeah, he’s being considerate, totally.

Luckily for you, you are past that stage of being the awkward booty call and pretending that going home at 6 am is totally okay.

Instead, he’s fine leaving you in his bed because you know where to find the good coffee in his kitchen, and she’s fine leaving you in her bed because she knows you secretly love to use her super soft towels.


9. “Babe, Can You Pop This Pimple For Me?”

As a friend of mine once said,

“Shitting with the door open, farting in front of each other, peeing during joint showers, that’s love.”

For most single people, that sounds pretty disgusting and unfathomable, yet when you’ve reached that stage of comfort in your relationship, you’ll soon realize that mi whitehead es su whitehead.

Often, you will not realize that these things have happened in your relationship; you won’t be getting a notification that you’re in a real-ationship, so don’t try and look.

These things happen with time, as they should! A relationship growing from its cute stages to its comfortable stages should be natural, and each relationship is different.

Don’t look at all of these signs as landmarks in your relationship (we’re FB official but he or she has NOT asked me to pop a pimple, what does that mean!?), but rather, look at them as accomplishments that you can check off your list of things that are making your relationship a real-ationship!

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Christina Kim

Contributor

Christina is a contributor based in Palm Springs, LA, and Starbucks. She graduated from UCLA in English and Film studies, and she hopes to be the next Carrie Bradshaw with better hair. You can see her writings at www.kimtinachris.carbonmade.com
Christina is a contributor based in Palm Springs, LA, and Starbucks. She graduated from UCLA in English and Film studies, and she hopes to be the next Carrie Bradshaw with better hair. You can see her writings at www.kimtinachris.carbonmade.com

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