There's Another Dating Trend Out There Called “Phubbing” & You're Totally Already Doing It
Another day, another dumb dating “trend” that I can barely pronounce, much less comprehend. Up next on the list of things people do to people they're dating that are low-key ruining their psychological well-being is “phubbing.” What is phubbing, you ask? Well, allow me to explain, young grasshopper.
Phubbing isn't exactly a new trend, but it seems to be making the rounds again, so let's all get on the same page here. First and foremost, phubbing is a mashup of two words: “phone” and “snubbing.” With that information alone, I'm sure you can probably guess where this is going, mostly because I assume you're a smart person who's well-versed in how dating can sometimes make you wanna literally lose your damn mind.
Anyway, for the lay person out there who hasn't been exposed to the trials and tribulations of awful technology-related dating trends, phubbing basically involves not paying someone you're spending time with any attention (snubbing) because *Baby Boomer voice* you're always on that damn phone! According to Fatherly, you add an extra P onto “phubbing” (thus, making it “Pphubbing”) when you're phubbing your partner. And apparently, this can really spell trouble for your relationship. What doesn't spell trouble for relationships anymore, TBH?
According to a 2015 study out of Baylor University, Pphubbing can actually cause serious rifts in a relationship, even leading to lower relationship satisfaction overall… which makes total sense??? How would you like to be taking time out of your day to hang out with someone you love, while they can't be bothered to look up from whatever the new Kermit meme is? (No offense, though. I love Kermit memes.)
“What we discovered was that when someone perceived that their partner Pphubbed them, this created conflict and led to lower levels of reported relationship satisfaction,” said study co-author professor James A. Roberts, Ph.D. “These lower levels of relationship satisfaction, in turn, led to lower levels of life satisfaction and, ultimately, higher levels of depression.”
The study of over 400 adults also found that people's attachment styles gave some indication as to how much Pphubbing would bother them in a relationship, with less securely attached people being more affected by phubbing than those with more secure attachment styles. (Go figure????)
Look, I know we are slaves to the ol' iPhone. I get it. To me, losing my phone seems worse than your kid getting lost in a grocery store, mostly because I don't have kids, and my maternal instincts are still debatable. That being said, I still think we can all agree it's rude to stare a 4.7-inch screen holding a bunch of strangers you don't know on the internet, when you have someone who loves you and wants to spend time with you sitting right next to you. So maybe let's put the phone down when we're spending time with someone? Unless you're BOTH bonding over Kermit memes, that is…
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