Relationships

This Is Exactly What You Should Do When The Person You Like Won't Text You Back

by Anjali Sareen Nowakowski

When you're really into someone, and they're really into you (or so you think), it can be devastating to experience the relationship going south. One of the worst things that can happen in a situation like this is the sudden decline in texts. You thought they were interested, but now what? In cases like these, you may be wondering just what to do when a guy doesn't text back.

Ghosting is an unfortunate trend that has taken center stage in the dating realm for a little while now. Even if you've never been ghosted (lucky you!), you've likely worried about whether or not you are being ghosted when someone stops responding to your texts the way they used to.

The truth is, it's definitely nerve-wracking. When the pattern of communication was going a certain way and, all of a sudden, it changes, it's natural to wonder what's happening. It's especially infuriating if you are with someone who won't give you a straight answer as to whether they are into you or not. So what's a girl to do?

Well, there are a few simple steps you can take when someone stops texting you back. These are steps that will be good for you, your mental health, and your overall self-worth.

1. Stop Texting

Here's the first thing you should do when someone stops texting you: STOP TEXTING THEM. Don't send any more "Hey, how are you?" texts. Don't send anymore GIFs. And DON'T send any "Where are you?" texts.

I know that other people give advice along the lines of "send a casual text." No. Don't. The person is already not texting you back, they've made clear that they aren't going to, and one more casual text isn't going to do anything to change that. Stop texting right away, and resolve not to give this crappy person any more satisfaction.

2. Delete Your Text History

If the person has stopped texting you, that means they were texting you at some point before, which means you likely have a text history, including the last few texts that you sent them. Delete. Delete. Delete.

Go in and immediately delete your entire text history when you realize you aren't hearing back. There's no point sitting around and waiting for them to get back to you while you read over their old texts and cry to yourself. And you know that's what you'll end up doing: just rereading and rereading and wondering where it all went wrong. Save yourself the heartbreak. Delete the entire text chain ASAP.

3. Maybe Delete Their Number

Deleting the text chain may not be enough. If you are really sure they probably aren't texting back for good, and you know they are kind of a jerk anyway, go ahead and delete their number so you aren't tempted to text them at all.

Let's be real: You probably have at least the first few digits of their number memorized anyway, so if they text, you'll know it's them. If not, and you hit them with a "Who dis?" you'll just let them know even more that you aren't amused by their lack of text response and that you aren't waiting around for them.

Go ahead and hit the big D — for "Delete," that is.

4. Keep Your Cool

This is important: Don't lose your mind. It can be tempting to completely go off on someone who has refused to text you back. You might want to berate them, get angry, or tell them how terrible they are. Don't do any of those things. It'll just give the non-texter too much satisfaction.

No matter how angry you feel at the situation, remember to keep your cool. Looking back, you'll be glad you kept it together no matter what happens. If they were just busy and didn't have time to text back, you'll be glad you didn't overreact. But even if they are just about to ghost you, you'll still feel better about yourself for taking the high road. It may not feel like it now, but it's the right thing to do for your mental health, I promise.

5. Distract Yourself

Go to the gym. Call your friends. Head to see a movie. DO ANYTHING to distract yourself. This person isn't texting you back. That's clear. So stop sitting around waiting for them. Get out of your house and out of your head to do something.

Not only will intentionally distracting yourself actually distract you (the goal), but you'll probably find that with some fun time out of the house alone or with friends, you'll feel better about yourself and not as hungry for this person's attention.

And you'll find that with even a little bit of time, you'll be way less concerned about hearing back from them. Win. Win. Win.

6. Forget That Jerk

The final step in the process of someone not texting you back is to forget them. Be all "Boy, bye," and then live it. Don't SAY it but then still be waiting for a text back. Instead, literally don't keep thinking about them. Remove them from your mind.

You will be a lot happier in the long run if you make a concerted effort to forget this idiot, I promise.

When someone doesn't text you back, it can be really infuriating and heartbreaking, depending on how much you liked them. The important thing is to keep your self-respect and self-worth in tact and move on as quickly as possible.

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