A Woman’s Guide To Healing A Broken Heart

A Woman’s Guide To Healing A Broken Heart
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A broken heart is one of the most painful feelings in life, and although life throws many challenges our way, mending that broken heart seems to be one of the most difficult ones.

You could have just ended a long-term relationship, or just realized that the dream relationship you hoped to have has just collapsed when it seemed as if it was just getting off the ground. Regardless of the scenario, a broken heart can have you hurting in places you’ve never known you could feel pain.

We’ve all been there – men and women alike. Sure, some might get over it faster than others, but we can all agree that regardless of how many times this happens to us, getting over that pain never seems to get easier.

I’ve talked about many things in the past, but never actually tackled this particular topic. I believe getting over a broken heart is a fundamental process in the quest to find love. The sooner you can move on and get over this hurdle, the closer you’ll be to that perfect relationship.

Having said that, here are the best things a woman can do to heal her broken heart:

Don’t Hold It In

The first and most important step towards recovery is to LET IT ALL OUT. There’s no way around this. Block him on Facebook, delete his pictures, listen to sad songs, watch sad movies, hate on him to your girlfriends and, ultimately, CRY, YELL, SCREAM – do whatever it takes to let it all out.

It’s absolutely paramount that you DO NOT try to hold it in. Many women stay busy by doing absolutely anything (partying, drinking, finding some new guy), but that will only give you a temporary escape. Unless you take the time to let it out, those feelings will come back with a vengeance.


Focus Your Mind On Something Else

Once you’ve managed to let it all or at least most of it, it’s time to focus your mind on other things. If you just sit around the house doing nothing, you’ll inevitably think about him all the time. You need to cease your mind from obsessing about this issue and focus it on something else.

Spend time with your friends, exercise, get more involved into your work, volunteer – do whatever it takes to keep him off of your mind.

The more you sit and think, the worse it will get. The less often you think about him, the better and easier it gets to get over him.


Stop Trying To Figure Out Why It Happened

Keeping your mind busy with other things is a great way to get over this, but it’s not 100 percent effective. The moment you have some free time, the thought of him will immediately pop back into your head and you’ll start to think about why it happened, how it could have been different and what you could have done to in order for things to take a different course.

Look at it this way: can you go back in time and change anything? No! So why are you still dwelling on the possibility of changing what has happened? It makes no sense, and there’s absolutely no point to continue down this path. You’ll just be torturing yourself for no reason.

The next time he pops up into your head, chuck him out and replace that thought with something else. It’s not going to be easy, but at least you’re doing something to get over him.


Make A List

If you find yourself unable to stop thinking about him, unable to stop thinking about why it happened and what you could have done differently, then it’s time to make a list.

You probably still think that he was perfect, that he was the one for you, and feel bad about it ending. Well…making a list about his faults is the best way for you to see that he wasn’t actually all that perfect and that you’re actually much better without him.

Take your time and really think about each item on the list. Consider the implications of each thing and how that impacted your relationship.

After you’re done with all of that, make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in your ideal guy. When you’re done with both, compare the two together and you’ll realize that your ex is actually not the “one” for you.


Focus On Your Future Successful Relationship

Once you’ve gone through all of the above, it’s time to take your most important step. Relax your mind; relax your body. Try to reach a calm place in your mind and then focus on visualizing your next relationship.

This relationship is very different from the one before; it’s different because in your mind, it’s perfection. Think of how amazing the next guy will be, how great he’ll make you feel, and think of how fulfilling and fun this new relationship will be. Let yourself feel all those amazing, lovely feelings.

It’s important to take this time and visualize the future, as it will make it much brighter than the past. Not only that, but it will also get you hyped up to take an initiative and make a positive change in your life.


A Few More Things To Remember:

You’re not the only one. When you are in pain and you feel as if it’s consuming you, you tend to think that nobody knows what you’re going through or that nobody has ever felt this way. The truth is that many others before you have been there and have managed to come out triumphant on the other side. This is why it’s important to understand that soon, you will, too.

It’s not him that’s upsetting you. Those feelings that you have are not there because of him. They’re there because of your inherent desire to be loved, a desired that all human beings have. Because you’ve spent so much time with him, you think that he is the only one that can give you that feeling of love.

The need for love and approval creates an overwhelming feeling of lack within, which can seriously delay you from moving on. The key here is to focus on your self-confidence in order to stop yourself from falling into these traps. Only when you feel happy on your own, can you actually feel happy with someone else.

There you have it: my easy-to-follow plan on how to heal your broken heart.

This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your love life’s success, visit TheSingleWomanGuide.com – a place where the conventional “dating mindset” is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting, attracting and keeping a quality man in your life.

Top Photo Courtesy: Tumblr

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Alex Matlock

Alex Matlock is an expert in dating and relationships. Apart from working on his Ph.D. in social psychology and writing for EliteDaily.com, he also owns two dating advice websites. Both are places where the "dating" mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct (and fruitful) methods of succeeding with the opposite sex. If you’re a man and want to increase your success with women, visit http://ThePlayerGuide.com. If you’re a woman and want to improve your love life’s success, visit http://TheSingleWomanGuide.com.

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