Women are crazy, but we all already knew that. They are irrational, can’t use common sense and don’t have the basic logic inherent to the other gender. They make decisions based off their emotions because they are too hard to control, which sometimes has us saying, “What the hell are they thinking?”

To make matters worse, they can’t have unemotional sex and decide to cry when things don’t go their way. Women are like your grown-up Rubix cubes, it’s just impossible to figure them out.

It doesn’t help that women have been brainwashed to believe that there’s a prince charming out there. Between watching all of their Disney movies to thinking that Ryan Gosling is going to show up at their doors and be at their disposal — they have set in place a lot of unrealistic expectations of men to which we will never be able to live up.

What women want is quite difficult to explain because it doesn’t exist. They want a perfect man, yet they’re not even perfect themselves. They’ll lose their looks by the time they are 26, so why should they be so lucky to get the better end of the bargain?

They want their Duke graduate who has a master’s degree in finance and a minor in psychology, they want their finance guy that wears a suit everyday, they want a man who spends his winters in St. Barts and summers in the French Riviera — and they want a man who will bend over backwards for them, taking them to Broadway shows, yoga and even having high tea at the Plaza. They want all that nonsense and then some.

Women nowadays are looking for secure futures; they want the guy with a lot of potential, the guy that’s on his way up so they can be the Beyoncé to his Jay-Z. They are looking for safe and secure bets and they think that the way to go is with the man with the best, hair, degree, suit and business card. I have been in the situation myself and I have friends that have gone through it as well.

We were decent boyfriends, we gave and we took, but we cared for them and gave them just enough of what they asked for…to only have the rug pulled out from under our feet, out of no where, because they don’t see a “future” and they have a 30-year-old finance guy that is taking them to LAVO or Cipriani every night.

For them, the grass was greener on the other side, and while they are breaking up with you, they are crying, and not because they feel bad for hurting you…but because they actually feel stupid for doing it. Women are constantly on the hunt: for that better guy, the best guy and the perfect guy. Unfortunately for them, it’s a two-way street — and the demand is much higher than the supply.

The truth is most men are lazy. When we are not working, hanging out with our friends or playing sports, we just want to sleep and do nothing. We don’t want to make any extra effort for a female, but we will do the bare minimum for her if we do really like her — and why not? All that brings is some nice blowjobs here and there and a decent sex session, which is plenty for us to get by and be happy.

We like being lazy with a girl, we like lying in bed all day and doing nothing, yet women constantly complain that we never want to do anything and always want to be active. That is when the bickering usually starts, and that is when she thinks she needs a man who is just as active and as ambitious as she is.

Women are insecure, they like to compete with their friends, and they would rather die than see their friends end up with a better guy than they have. What they don’t understand is that great guy they dream of, with all the credentials they told themselves that he needs, won’t make them happy whatsoever.

Sure in the beginning they will be happy because they think they found their prince charming, but as time goes by, they will realize that the guy won’t give a flying f*ck about them for one of many reasons: firstly, there are many other women at his disposal; secondly, he’s probably an asshole who may have treated her well to court her, but now could care less about her. She’ll soon realize that after he dumps her out of nowhere and goes to Cabo with his 22-year-old intern who just graduated Vassar.

Sure, they say nice guys finish last, but nice guys are also a lot smarter than the assholes of the world. We may not wear suits everyday, we may not have a fancy diploma from a prestigious college, we may not have been a part of a frat — but in the long run we make for better lovers than the perfect man and the perfect expectations that women have in their minds. Men are simple creatures and the more women try to complicate us, the more complicated they make it for themselves.

One of the biggest issues is perception. The way men look at a relationship and the way women look at it are two different things. Men see it as simply convenient, easy and enjoyable, whereas women see it as a stepping stone for their “future.”

Every relationship goes stale at one point, and men look at it as an opportunity to cheat, so we do so, but women walk away when it gets stale because they feel bored and are unsure what they want the rest of their lives to be like — this so they go and test new waters. But the devil you know is always better than the devil you don’t.

Women have a problem where they mistake kindness for weakness, and when they see a man who is too kind, they think he is unworthy or lacks confidence. No, idiot, he is just trying to be nice so that he could get away with being lazy when he is with you. They even go as far as mistaking it for a lack of ambition. What they don’t realize is that we are most likely more ambitious and more likely to end up successful than the Duke grad they dream about.

Women’s insecurities cause them to throw away a good man that they have in their lives because they feel like he is not meeting their unrealistic expectations, but what they’ll soon learn that this attitude will leave them all alone and suffering a midlife crisis at the age of 30 — while we men they leave behind will only end up way more successful and with a much hotter 19-year-old blowing our minds and our dicks.

Preston Waters | Elite.