The Unrealistic Expecations Women Have Of Men
Many women have unrealistic expectations of men that were most likely derived from Disney movies or some Nicholas Sparks movie (or book if she's interesting enough) that she watched and cried over with her friends in middle school.
Even if romance novels or movies do not inspire you, everyone daydreams. Everyone has fantasies that illustrate what they would desire in their perfect world. Enter cynical old me, to prove to you that your wishful thinking, daydreaming, and expectations towards men are all but unrealistic in the end.
Waiting On Doorstep
Throughout multiple movies I have witnessed several scenes depicting a man waiting on a woman's doorstep (sometimes in inclement weather if the film is dramatic enough) with flowers or nothing at all. (Because it doesn't really matter what he's bearing–he's there.) He's usually there to confess his love, surprise you, apologize, etc.
If you are waiting for the man of your dreams to re-enact this awe-inspiring feat or romance, you’re going to be waiting for a while. This simply isn't going to happen. No guy is going to go out of his way to wait for anything that isn’t he positive will be there around the same time he arrives.
Most guys I know don't even wait for commercials to end while watching television. What makes you think he's going to wait for any period of time longer than two minutes at your door to speak to you? He's most likely going to shoot you a text message… maybe a tweet, if you’re lucky.
Running Through Airport
This one is great. You know the scene–the couple gets into a serious fight and she's about to board a flight but he decides at the last minute that he can't live without her. So of course he's going to run through a crowd of people in public (when he doesn't even take time to run at the gym) to grab you and tell you he was wrong and has realized he needs you, ending the moment of passion by bending you over in dramatic WWII era fashion and kissing you…right? Five extra creativity points to your fantasy if the surrounding crowd goes wild and claps for you.
Sorry to be burst your bubble yet again but, yeah, this isn't going to happen. If he really wants to apologize, or ask for your forgiveness… he's probably going to text you, even if you’re about to fly across the country. Besides, what if you just decided you were still mad at him even when he meets you face to face?
Love At First Sight
Most girls have a dream at some point in their lives of spending an extra amount of time getting ready, looking at themselves in the mirror, taking a deep breath and then walking down the stairs to meet a random guy who proceeds to longingly look at them and fall in love.
I know some people seriously believe in love at first sight, and I'm not saying that you don't feel anything when you first lay eyes on someone. You probably do, but it's not love at first sight; it's “I want to have sex with you” at first sight.
I promise you that not one guy who first approaches you is interested in pursuing a long term relationship and everlasting love after just locking eyes with you one time. He’s not imagining what you would look like up on the altar. He’s imagining what you would look like with your clothes off.
Dancing With You In The Street
The Notebook gave women everywhere some very fucked up ideas on how relationships actually work. Your guy is not going to dance with you in the middle of the street, or in the rain, or anything of that nature.
He's most likely not even going to dance with you at your sister's wedding unless it's a mandatory requirement for wedding pictures because he will most likely be posted up at the open bar all night. Ask him to have sex with you in the middle of the street, and I can assure you you’ll get a different answer.
Fighting For You
The only way that guys are going to fight over a girl is if it's a way to show that they're territorial, manly, or tougher to break than another guy. For example, if a guy grabs another guy’s girlfriend's ass in a bar, and he determines that the other guy is weaker than he is, he will most likely start a fight similar to the way an animal would.
If it comes down to a guy needing to fight over a girl with another guy to determine who gets to date her, he's probably not going to do it. Why? Because no one wants what someone else wants and he can most likely bang another girl that night no problem. If you’re seriously having trouble deciding which one to date, you’re probably not worth fighting over to begin with. Sorry.
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