Happy 4/20 America: Get Ready For The High Holiday [Video]

Humor
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

When speaking of the high holidays, some may be referring to religious celebrations such as Rosh Hashanah or Easter. But here at Elite Daily, there’s only one true “high” holiday, and that’s celebrated every year on April 20.

Unfortunately, however, for some reason unbeknownst to man, the drug molly has overtaken its green superior and emerged as the most popular drug of Generation-Y. So to remember the good ol’ days, we’d like everyone to take a moment this Saturday to appreciate our first true drug love: marijuana.

Remember the simple days when smoking marijuana was all you did? It was an easy way to spend the afternoon on your couch surrounded by bags of chips, video games and, of course, all your stoner friends. You didn’t have to worry about picking out the brightest outfit, or getting yourself a cool pair of sunglasses or headband.

All that mattered was that you had something good on TV to sit back and watch. Times were much simpler and more relaxing with marijuana.

But now molly is the new “in” drug. Sure, it can be a good time, but is it really necessary to take every weekend? Marijuana is the kind of drug you can par-toke every day without much hazard to yourself, while molly is the kind of drug that should be done once a month max (if we were to condone hard drug use, of course). The hangovers are the worst too.

Weed doesn’t give you a hangover at all. In fact, it actually helps you get a better night’s sleep. Molly on the other hand will have you up all night and once you do crash, you wake up dehydrated and sweating as if you’ve been wandering around the desert all night in your dreams.

So this Saturday, let’s all embrace the great drug that is marijuana. Our first real drug experience, because without it, we could never have survived college lectures.

Share Tweet
React

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In Humor

Also On Elite

World

Video Captures Terrifying Moment Man Opens Fire On Crowd Outside Stamford Nightclub

Five people were hospitalized as a result of a shooting outside of Tino’s, a Stamford, Connecticut, nightclub, and a bystander caught the whole thing on video. Dayron Wills, 22, fired 10 shots during a brawl outside the nightclub at 1:30 am this past Sunday. Shortly after the shooting, Wills was arrested and ditched his .40-caliber […]

World

That Awkward Moment Using A Loofah In The Shower Probably Just Makes You Dirtier

Using a loofah might make you feel like you’re getting a deeper, more exfoliating clean, but in reality you’re probably getting dirtier. The handheld sponge you’ve come to know and love in your shower actually provides great shelter for bacteria. A study in the Journal of Clinical Microbiology showed that loofahs provide a cozy home to disease-causing […]

Film

Disney Is Making A Live-Action Remake Of ‘Dumbo’ Because F*ck Your Childhood

Here’s quite possibly the worst idea I’ve heard all week. Disney is developing a live-action remake of “Dumbo.” And… wait for it… wait for it… the guy who wrote all the “Transformers” movies is set to pen the script. Bravo, Disney. I couldn’t think of a worse combination if I spent all day thinking of […]