Happy 4/20 America: Get Ready For The High Holiday [Video]

Humor
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

When speaking of the high holidays, some may be referring to religious celebrations such as Rosh Hashanah or Easter. But here at Elite Daily, there’s only one true “high” holiday, and that’s celebrated every year on April 20.

Unfortunately, however, for some reason unbeknownst to man, the drug molly has overtaken its green superior and emerged as the most popular drug of Generation-Y. So to remember the good ol’ days, we’d like everyone to take a moment this Saturday to appreciate our first true drug love: marijuana.

Remember the simple days when smoking marijuana was all you did? It was an easy way to spend the afternoon on your couch surrounded by bags of chips, video games and, of course, all your stoner friends. You didn’t have to worry about picking out the brightest outfit, or getting yourself a cool pair of sunglasses or headband.

All that mattered was that you had something good on TV to sit back and watch. Times were much simpler and more relaxing with marijuana.

But now molly is the new “in” drug. Sure, it can be a good time, but is it really necessary to take every weekend? Marijuana is the kind of drug you can par-toke every day without much hazard to yourself, while molly is the kind of drug that should be done once a month max (if we were to condone hard drug use, of course). The hangovers are the worst too.

Weed doesn’t give you a hangover at all. In fact, it actually helps you get a better night’s sleep. Molly on the other hand will have you up all night and once you do crash, you wake up dehydrated and sweating as if you’ve been wandering around the desert all night in your dreams.

So this Saturday, let’s all embrace the great drug that is marijuana. Our first real drug experience, because without it, we could never have survived college lectures.

Share Tweet
React

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In Humor

Humor Connor Toole

Female Video Game Characters Deal With Street Harassment, Too (Video)

Earlier this week, every site on the Internet posted a video of a woman walking through New York City that documented the assorted catcalls and various forms of harassment she endured. It’s a serious issue that certainly deserves attention, but that’s not going to stop people from making parodies like with every other viral video to […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

8 Halloween Costumes No One Else Will Have In 2014 (Photos)

Halloween is right around the corner — and if you’re one of those people who gets physically ill when you see someone wearing the same shirt as you, you’ll want to make sure you’re not wasting your time on an uncreative costume. There’s no shortage of lists available for people who want to find the most popular […]

Also On Elite

TV

WTF: Mr. Big Says He Thinks Carrie Bradshaw Is A ‘Whore’

It’s pretty awkward when Mr. Big calls Carrie a whore… Excuse me, Mr. Big, but weren’t you the one who cheated on your wife with a single Ms. Bradshaw? Weren’t you the one who couldn’t commit? The show has been over for a while, but Chris Noth, who is currently starring on “The Good Wife,” […]

Food

This Native American Restaurant Will Offer Pre-Colonized American Cuisine (Photos)

Move over McDonald’s, make way for a new kind of restaurant — a Native American restaurant offering up a pre-colonization menu. The restaurant is the brainchild of Sean Sherman, a native son of the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. Sherman is also a skilled chef. As December approaches, he plans to open up a Native […]

TV

Jimmy Kimmel Asked People Who Joe Biden Was To Prove Americans Are Clueless (Video)

People in Hollywood aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. They’re also high a lot. So, Jimmy Kimmel set out to make the depths of their stupidity known to the world when he took to Hollywood Boulevard and asked people who Joe Biden is. The responses to the seemingly simple question are mind-numbing. Biden, […]

World

Man Looks For ‘Fertile’ Woman To Survive Ebola Apocalypse With

If you’re looking to bear three children and get away from it all, the perfect man is waiting for you. Yesterday, an ad went up on Boston’s Craigslist written by a 36-year-old man seeking a woman with whom he can “escape the apocalypse.” He goes on to explain that he’s been preparing a subterranean shelter […]

World

Cabbie Unknowingly Picks Up Tom Hanks And Receives Broadway Tickets

Tom Hanks seems like a pretty great guy, especially for being a big-time Hollywood actor. This story only lends credence to that assertion. According to a post on the Humans of New York blog, Hanks befriended a cab driver. The cab driver unknowingly picked up Hanks and the two hit it off. At first, the […]