Happy 4/20 America: Get Ready For The High Holiday [Video]

Humor
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

When speaking of the high holidays, some may be referring to religious celebrations such as Rosh Hashanah or Easter. But here at Elite Daily, there’s only one true “high” holiday, and that’s celebrated every year on April 20.

Unfortunately, however, for some reason unbeknownst to man, the drug molly has overtaken its green superior and emerged as the most popular drug of Generation-Y. So to remember the good ol’ days, we’d like everyone to take a moment this Saturday to appreciate our first true drug love: marijuana.

Remember the simple days when smoking marijuana was all you did? It was an easy way to spend the afternoon on your couch surrounded by bags of chips, video games and, of course, all your stoner friends. You didn’t have to worry about picking out the brightest outfit, or getting yourself a cool pair of sunglasses or headband.

All that mattered was that you had something good on TV to sit back and watch. Times were much simpler and more relaxing with marijuana.

But now molly is the new “in” drug. Sure, it can be a good time, but is it really necessary to take every weekend? Marijuana is the kind of drug you can par-toke every day without much hazard to yourself, while molly is the kind of drug that should be done once a month max (if we were to condone hard drug use, of course). The hangovers are the worst too.

Weed doesn’t give you a hangover at all. In fact, it actually helps you get a better night’s sleep. Molly on the other hand will have you up all night and once you do crash, you wake up dehydrated and sweating as if you’ve been wandering around the desert all night in your dreams.

So this Saturday, let’s all embrace the great drug that is marijuana. Our first real drug experience, because without it, we could never have survived college lectures.

Share Tweet
React

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In Humor

Humor Connor Toole

Legend Kid Takes Photo With VS Model While Wearing Shirt Saying He Only Dates Models (Photo)

While there are occasional exceptions to this rule, graphic T-shirts are horrible, terrible things that have no place in polite society. There’s no denying that they’re popular, but there’s also no denying that they’re most popular among people who non-ironically wear things with “YOLO” emblazoned on the front. While I normally find myself laughing at […]

Also On Elite

Entertainment

Norm Macdonald Describes The First Time He Met Robin Williams As Life-Changing

Everyone has been dealing with Robin Williams’ tragic, sudden death in different ways, with many celebrities taking to social media to express their grief over the loss for a generation. To mourn Williams’ death, comedian, actor and “Saturday Night Live” alumnus Norm Macdonald tweeted his own story about meeting Williams, whom he calls “the funniest man in the world,” […]

Humor

Overprotective Mom Calls 911 After Finding Her Teenage Son’s Porn Playing On The TV

Teenage boys have a reputation for a lot of things, but the inability to estimate how sneaky they’re actually being is an almost fatal flaw. Whether it’s forgetting to clear the browser history or thinking that it’s smart to hide something underneath a mattress, they’re almost always bound to do something to blow their masturbatory […]

Entertainment

Leo DiCaprio Is Not Only ‘The Wolf,’ But He’s Saving Them, Too

Leonardo DiCaprio continues to be the most interesting man in the world. First, he’s partying on massive yachts at the World Cup and now he’s saving endangered species. DiCaprio recently hosted a gala in France that raised $25 million to be used toward safeguarding the earth’s plant and animal life. It apparently cost between $7,000 and […]