22 Things That Would Change If Carrie Bradshaw Had A Goddamn Cell Phone
There's no denying "Sex and The City" was a new frontier -- an iconic masterpiece in cable history. Whether you hated Carrie or not, you still respected the show for what it was: a revolution.
Like "The Sopranos" and "The Wire," "SATC" paved the way for a new standard of television. Like any masterpiece, however, there's no denying the show would be completely different had it taken place during another time period.
Born in the 90s, "Sex and the City" exudes all the culture and experience of a different world; one bursting with answering machines and payphones.
Many of the small technological advances that came 20 years later would've change the whole dynamic of the show.
Would "Sex and the City" be the revolution it was had it taken place in a time of Tinder and Snapchat? Would we still love-to-hate the iconic protagonist had she been able to text Mr. Big instead of leaving innocuous voicemails? Would we still love Carrie if she were posting selfies and Instagrams of her impressive shoe collection?
What makes "Sex and the City" so iconic, especially to our generation, is the universality of it, while at the same time, the old school nature of it.
The simplicity of the times -- meeting for brunch at an agreed upon time, the inability to cancel via text and the old-school columns that could really have just been tweets -- give it a special, once-upon-a-time charm.
Had the show taken place during a time when Carrie would have had a cell phone, the show might not have taken off.
The questions many of the ladies posed throughout the series could have been answered with the flick of a finger and the launch of an app. Is he gay or is he straight? The question that once perplexed Charlotte could've been solved with a simple download of one or two dating apps.
Carrie's obsessive tendencies would have been magnified with the use of things like Foursquare to track Mr. Big and Twitter to stalk Jack Berger (come on, his would have been poppin').
In celebration of the show that will forever remain on our "HBO Go" queue, here are all the things that would've changed had Carrie been carrying an iPhone 6.
Her friends would text her about her birthday dinner
We all remember the episode in which no one shows up for Carrie's birthday (then she drops her cake in the street).
The night we reveled in Carrie's pain alongside her would've never happened had she had a goddamn phone to text at least one of her friends to find out what the hell was going on.
The Berger break up Post-it would be a frown face emoji
The modern day Post-it would most definitely be a singular emoji, and it would've caused our girl to throw her phone against the wall.
Aidan would've been the kind of guy to text things like, "Good morning beautiful."
Instead of shouting outside her window, he'd be blowing up her screen. She'd probably respond to every four of his texts and end up bringing her phone to breakfast to lament to the girls how needy he is.
She would've never missed dinner in Paris with her fans
Instead of just ditching them for a man (once again), she would've at least been able to send a text letting them down.
Big would never respond, but his "read" receipts would be enough.
Instead of just being flaky, he'd be the annoying guy who read her texts and then didn't respond. He'd also be the kind of guy who'd leave the texting bubble for hours, then just send "k."
Carrie would've taken screen-shots of conversations to send to her friends, and then send it to the guy by accident.
Those cringeworthy blunders she makes almost every episode would be magnified with technology. Instead of leaving an embarrassing voicemail, she'd be taking Snapchat screenshots and sending drunk texts.
She’d have to Whatsapp the Russian.
Instead of following him all the way to Paris, she would've just texted him while he was there. Then again, if she hadn't gone, would Big have rescued her?
She'd be taking notes mid-episode for more column ideas
Those brunches would be filled with her asking her friends to slow down so she could write her next "brilliant idea" in her notes.
The politician would've definitely sent her dick pics.
Not only would he have asked her to pee on him, but he'd be such a modern-day Weiner.
She would've had talks with her friends about why he didn’t text.
Not only would men not be calling her, they wouldn't be texting her, either. And the lack of answers would've made Carrie's over-curled head explode with questions.
She would've totally been on her cell phone at dinner.
Carrie would definitely have been one of those girls who texts her way through a date and sends her friends whack emoji instead of noticing her comic store boyfriend still lives with his parents.
There would be a group chat.
No need for brunch anymore, am I right?
When she was sneaking around with Mr Big, her friends would've definitely caught her.
Instead of running into Miranda and lying about a dentist appointment, she'd have to explain why she wasn't answering their texts and why her "current location" is curiously next to Mr. Big's apartment.
She wouldn’t have a closet; she’d have an Instagram.
If you're going to spend $400 on a pair of Manolos, you're going to be Instagramming them. No doubt Carrie would've had a little bit of Instagram fame.
Her Twitter name would've been @IWonder.
I wonder why I'm still single at 40. #confused #isitme? #mensuck
Natasha would've read his texts.
Remember the dramatic scene when Carrie and Big's ongoing affair is discovered and Natasha breaks her tooth? If it had taken place today, it would've been a lot less dramatic and a lot more like, "Why the hell are you texting your ex-girlfriend?"
She’d find out Mr. Big left for California from his status updates.
He still wouldn't have told her, but she would've found out a lot sooner than the day before he headed west.
She’d totally block Mr. Big and then unblock him.
Every episode would be another debate of whether she should block him or just text him again.
Aidan would know she'd cheated because he would've read her texts.
Come on, Aidan is sooooo the type to read her texts.
She would take #selfies.
Carrie's narcissism would only be exacerbated by the millions of Snapchats and Instagram selfies she'd post on a daily basis. Not to mention, she'd totally be the type to post pictures of her and Big in bed with a #lazysunday.
She'd still be texting with Vaughn's mother
Justin Theroux's cameo would live past one episode because Carrie and his mom would most definitely keep in touch with each other.
Everyone would know how truly crazy she is.
You can't hide your crazy on social media. Between the stalking, double texting, incessant Snapchats and obvious tweets, Carrie would go from quirky to f*cking annoying as sh*t real quick.