Entertainment

5 Baby Names Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Should Name Their New Baby

by Hope Schreiber
REX/Shhutterstock

It's official: "The Hills" are alive with the sound of babies crying.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are welcoming a child to this world, and we are all so blessed.

Speidi, true to their brand, announced the good word in a gossip magazine.

Pratt told Us Weekly,

The look on her face, I can't even describe it. She was literally glowing. I thought she was about to say she made muffins or banana bread. Heidi said, 'I'm pregnant.' I was like, 'Whoa, that's way more exciting than banana bread!'

This may be the worst pregnancy announcement ever. "Your father really wanted banana bread, but was kind of disappointed I was just baking a bun in the oven instead."

But they're not the only "The Hills" stars who are procreating to create the second generation of entitled white people.

Audrina Patridge gave birth to a baby girl in August, Lauren Conrad announced her pregnancy in January, Whitney Port said she was with child in February and Jason Wahler, just a few days later, announced his wife was pregnant.

Obviously, there's a lot to prepare for when you're about to bring a baby home.

You have to baby-proof your house, which means covering all the outlets and hiding all the delicious poisonous stuff you keep under the sink somewhere little baby arms can't get to it.

You have to build a crib you bought from IKEA and cry at least once out of frustration.

You have to make sure you either have breast milk or formula because babies have to eat.

And most importantly, you have to have a name befitting the Montag-Pratt family.

Don't worry, Pratt. I have some pretty solid suggestions.

Peter Parker

Yeah, I know. I'm already starting off strong.

Peter Parker is Spider-Man, right? And what's Spencer and Heidi's nickname? Speidi.... Spidey... Spider-Man.

You're welcome, nerds.

Hence

"Hence" is just another option for Heidi and Spencer nickname, hence... this baby name.

Chris

Sorry, Spencer, but you'll never really be the world's favorite Pratt. Maybe you can name your child after him though??

Baby McBabyFace

Just like Boaty McBoatface and Hooty McOwlface before it, if you ask the internet for help, this is what you get.

Millions

Spencer and Heidi didn't know how to manage their money when they first earned it, and they lost millions. If they name their child "Millions" hopefully they won't lose it again.