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11 Lyrics From Drake's New Album Your White Friends Will Use As Their IG Caption

New Drake music can only mean one thing: updated lyrics for your white friends to use as their Instagram bios.

Drake's music means a lot of things to a lot of people, especially white people. I don't know what it is specifically about his lyrics, but he's like a modern-day Socrates or Freud to anyone who reassures you wayyy too hard that they saw “Moonlight” and loved it.

Remember how they'd listen to Eminem cor Ben Folds in high school and think the words came from God him/herself? Somewhere along the line, those two mountains of mayo were replaced by Drake who now releases tracks that double as caucasian gospel.

Over the weekend, Drake released a new mixtape and it has some pretty solid new lyrics for all those white Instagrams you follow to post for inspiration.

If you don't wanna listen to these new tracks but still want to grab a few lyrics for your own social media pages, here are some for you to steal for any occasion.


1. For when you're feeling classy but your name is Hunter.

“Free Smoke”

Dom Rosé toast
Hidden Hills where I post
I start my day slow
Silk pajamas when I wake, though


2. For when you're freaked out by “the game” but also go to Duke.

“Passionfruit”

Passionate from miles away
Passive with the things you say


3. When you want to date someone very badly but are worried about what side of the Hamptons she summers on.

“Get It Together”

You need me to get that shit together
So we can get together


4. For when your lacrosse friends go to different colleges in Rhode Island.

“Madiba Riddim”

People change, I'm not surprised
Devil's working overtime
Voodoo spells put on my life
It won't work, they all have tried


5. When you wanna get married but it's also before Labor Day.

“Gyalchester”

She wanna get married tonight
But I can't take a knee, 'cause I'm wearin' all white
Me and my broski are twins, but we don't look alike


6. When you tryna choose between having a baby and throwing a really cool catered party.

“Portland”

I could never have a kid, then be out here still kiddin' around
Boys playin' around, where you really wanna take it now?
I got a hundred fifty thousand dollars for an after party
And I gave it to the killas just to break it down


7. When you hit black ice on the way to Vail for Thanksgiving.

“Lose You”

No snow tires, the rain slip-slide like Trick Daddy and Trina
Oli North pull in, like, 10 million a season


8. When you a Winklevoss.

“Glow”

No more 9 to 5, autopilot dri-i-ive
Used to work the fries, now we supersi-i-ize


9. When you and your sister are both fighting for the same internship at your father's law firm.

“Fake Love”

That's when they smile in my face
Whole time they wanna take my place


10. When you're Jerry Jones' son but you're also single.

“Do Not Disturb”

I don't have no time to be no Romeo
All the love I need is at the rodeo


11. When your girl abruptly decides to end the date a full hour early even though you rented the Zeppelin until 9:45.

“Ice Melts”

I still need some satisfaction
A little less talk and a little more action

Enjoy updating those Instas!

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Eitan Levine

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Eitan Levine is a New York City based comedian and writer covering trending news for Elite Daily. He is also a weekly performer at The PIT and Magnet Theater in New York and the founder/co-host of “Who Won The Internet?”, which airs weekly ...
Eitan Levine is a New York City based comedian and writer covering trending news for Elite Daily. He is also a weekly performer at The PIT and Magnet Theater in New York and the founder/co-host of “Who Won The Internet?”, which airs weekly ...

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