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Kanye West Pens Bizarre Poem About McDonald’s And The Internet Is Lovin’ It

In case you thought you and Kanye West had nothing in common, guess again: Kanye also struggles to fight against the evil power of McDonald’s fries.

According to Pitchfork, Kanye West wrote a poem, “The McDonald’s Man,” that was featured in Frank Ocean’s magazine, Boys Don’t Cry, which was released at a handful of locations packaged with Ocean’s new album, Blond.

According to tweets, the magazine also features photos of Kanye at a McDonald’s drive-through in a Lamborghini, naturally.

Thankfully, one Twitter user photographed the magazine pages so we can all take a look at Kanye’s McDonald’s poem.

The poem is a little repetitive in my opinion, but that minor complaint aside, this poem has it all: heroes, villains, love, death, alliances, evil plotting, jealousy, romance, passion, anger and the triumph of evil over good. OK, so maybe it doesn’t have ALL that, but it has, like, half of it.

Check out Kanye’s poem in full below, and see for yourself why Kanye West thinks McDonald’s french fries are a worthy, evil subject for a poem:

McDonalds man

McDonalds man

The French fries had a plan

The French fries had a plan

The salad bar and the ketchup made a band

Cus the French fries had a plan

The French fries had a plan

McDonalds man

McDonalds

I know them French fries have a plan

I know them French fries have a plan

The cheeseburger and the shakes formed a band

To overthrow the French fries plan

I always knew them French fries was evil man

Smelling all good and shit

I don’t trust no food that smells that good man

I don’t trust it

I just can’t

McDonalds man

McDonalds man

McDonalds, damn

Them French fries look good tho

I knew the Diet Coke was jealous of the French fries

I knew the McNuggets was jealous of the French fries

Even the McRib was jealous of the fries

I could see it through his artificial meat eyes

And he only be there some of the time

Everybody was jealous of them French fries

Except for that one special guy

That smooth apple pie

HOW DOES IT END KANYE!? YOU SET UP A WAR BETWEEN THE FRENCH FRIES AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN AN ALLIANCE AGAINST THEM.

I guess I’ll have to pick up the next issue of Boys Don’t Cry to see if Kanye wrote a follow-up poem about the evil french fries.

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Jake Cappuccino

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Jake is the weekend editor for Elite Daily. He joined Elite in the summer of 2015 after graduating from Syracuse University with his master's degree in online journalism. He previously worked for Popular Mechanics as the world's greatest intern ...
Jake is the weekend editor for Elite Daily. He joined Elite in the summer of 2015 after graduating from Syracuse University with his master's degree in online journalism. He previously worked for Popular Mechanics as the world's greatest intern ...

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