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Kourtney Kardashian Was Prescribed A ‘Love Potion’ For The Saddest Reason

Kourtney Kardashian is a witch now and I’m lovin’ it.

I am as big a Kourt fan as the next person but, man oh man, does this woman have terrible taste in men.

Scott Disick is one ungodly eff-up and when she’s not “will-they-won’t-they”-ing with him, she’s been known to slum it with famously awful human, Justin Bieber.

It’s clear she needs a ton of help when it comes to the ways of love and the only entity on the planet that can offer her that amount of help is the occult.

On Snapchat, the 37-year-old Kardashian sister revealed she may be cosmically averse to landing Mr. Right, telling her followers,

My doctor told me that I subconsciously think I don’t deserve love.

Her doctor offered a solution to counteract this self-sabotaging. A literal solution. Like actual water droplets that work as some sort of love potion.

In order to open up her heart to love, Kourtney drops 32 droplets of her magical romance liquid into water and then drinks it… you know, like how witches do.

Not to be outdone, Khloé slaughters a small llama every morning and bathes in its blood.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding! (maybe)

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Eitan Levine

Editor

Eitan Levine is a New York City based comedian and writer covering trending news for Elite Daily. He is also a weekly performer at The PIT and Magnet Theater in New York and the founder/co-host of “Who Won The Internet?”, which airs weekly ...
Eitan Levine is a New York City based comedian and writer covering trending news for Elite Daily. He is also a weekly performer at The PIT and Magnet Theater in New York and the founder/co-host of “Who Won The Internet?”, which airs weekly ...

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