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Lindsay Lohan Gets Real About ‘Wrinkles’ And ‘Gravity’ In Topless Selfie

Remember back in ’08, when Lindsay Lohan would rather pull a covered wagon with her teeth than appear as a regular on her sister’s reality show, “Living Lohan”?

These days, it seems like Linds is primed for a comeback via the reality TV medium, mainly due to her social media presence: a gift that keeps on giving, even when America is like, “We good, tysm.”

On Wednesday, por ejemplo, LiLo shared a topless selfie via Instagram that, despite showcasing her natural beauty, was posted with the intent to embrace, in her words, “gravity… taking over my upper half.”

While she didn’t specify how she keeps her lower half young, she did encourage followers to go home and “sit down. Analyse your future & see the wrinkles!”

Firstly, no thank you. I will die 70 years from now, dressed in denial and Forever 21, refusing to accept the changes time made while I was busy making fake plans to cook my own meals and exercise regularly.

Secondly, Lindsay’s hard partying doesn’t seem to have ravaged her the way our mothers always warned us butt-drinking and chain-smoking would. In fact, she looks amazing.

The 30-year-old has a major penchant for selfies…

But that’s not all she can do (take note, Mark Burnett, this is a well-rounded woman).

She jumps to the aid of refugees with arms wide open and stacked full of energy drinks.

She innovates language.

She hangs out with this kid.

She boats.

She also lost half a finger in a boating accident and shared selfies from the hospital. She is giving us her all.

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, AMERICA? Lindsay is a national treasure and if Ryan Seacrest, the gatekeeper of semi-scripted reality programming, can’t see that, we’re all doomed.

Pack it up, people. There’s nothing to see here if it isn’t Lindsay freaking Lohan.

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Taylor Ortega

Editor

Taylor Ortega is a New York based writer and comedian. She performs on Wednesday nights at the PIT and co-hosts "Elite Weekly" on Facebook Live. Buy her a cheese sandwich, please. Insta: carbra_streisand
Taylor Ortega is a New York based writer and comedian. She performs on Wednesday nights at the PIT and co-hosts "Elite Weekly" on Facebook Live. Buy her a cheese sandwich, please. Insta: carbra_streisand

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