73-Year-Old Mick Jagger Welcomes A Baby Boy With His 29-Year-Old Girlfriend

CAN WE TALK ABOUT MICK JAGGER'S SEMEN FOR A SECOND?!?!?

I'm not a scientist. I like science, I enjoy things like "MythBusters" and throwing Mentos into Diet Coke bottles, but I would never claim to be a scientist.

I majored in marketing in college so the closest thing I ever came to the subject was the time I took the joke class "Earth Science" to get rid of a humanities credit.

That being said, I still know there is no effing way Mick Jagger's semen is normal.

He's a billion years old yet still produces a denser -- for lack of a better term -- "downtown product" than anyone you've probably ever met.

The 73-year-old rock icon recently welcomed a new baby boy into this world with his 29-year-old girlfriend, ballerina Melanie Hamrick.

Mick Jagger and his pregnant girlfriend Melanie Hamrick!@MickJagger pic.twitter.com/YpEafnNJQr — STARSTAR (@Jumping_Jack_) July 15, 2016

This marks Mick Jagger's eighth baby.

Eight. Whole. Babies.

According to his publicist,

Mick was at the hospital for the arrival. Mother and baby are doing well and we request that the media respect their privacy at this time.

Now that the important stuff is out of the way, can we all just take a moment to recognize how much Mick Jagger is killing it in life right now.

This is Mick.

This is Mick's girlfriend, Melanie.

This is Mick.

This is Mick's girlfriend, Melanie.

Mick.

Melanie.

Get what I'm saying? I'm not one to point out the occasional massive discrepancies when it comes to the attractiveness level in couples buttttttttttttt, holy crap.

Mick is a GOD, and his life at 73 is 10 times more exciting than mine was all throughout college combined.

Plus, he has EIGHT kids between a few days old and 46 years old.

That's a flawless system. He always has access to a babysitter.

New life goal: be Mick Jagger.

Citations: Mick Jagger welcomes baby no 8 (CNN)