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Here Are All Of The Places Hailey Baldwin Should Be Sitting Instead Of A Toilet

“McCarthyism” is a homonym.

Its two definitions are not equally acknowledged, but they exist in a shared reality all the same.

McCarthyism (n.):

1. The practice of accusing one of treason without any concern for evidence (see: Joseph McCarthy, the Second Red Scare)
2. Blonde ladies on toilets (see: Jenny McCarthy, the '90s)

It's not immediately clear which version of McCarthyism Hailey Baldwin is practicing in photos from her cover shoot for the fourth issue of Australian publication Inprint magazine.

Yes, there is a toilet, but she's also on the phone, ratting out communists in her community. It's a tough call either way.

Rather than try to discern which message the model is attempting to convey through the absolute labyrinth of conflicting concepts that is her Inprint cover, let's just imagine her elsewhere.

You know, places where her mere presence can make a loud and clear statement.

Here she is at Trump's meeting with the House Freedom Caucus.

Hailey Baldwin at the health care summit.

Twitter

Hailey is protecting the future of women's health in America.


Here she is protecting New York's proposed U-shaped skyscraper.

Hailey Baldwin sits on NYC's proposed U-shape skyscraper.

Twitter

She's got her eyes on the skies, terrorists.


Catch your girl Hails on Donald Jr.'s Trump Stump.

Hailey Baldwin joins Donald Trump Jr. on his stump.

Twitter

Even models need a place to cry.


Hailey also perches at the top of the CN Tower!

Hailey Baldwin on the tower from Views.

Twitter

She's got Views of her own, Drake.


She doesn't mind helping her girl Angela Merkel when the Chancellor gets snubbed.

Hailey Baldwin with Angela Merkel and Trump

REX/Shutterstock

Hailey's political commitments are her greatest passion!

This girl is all over the damn place, proving herself a power player in politics, art and homeland security.

Before we berate her for time spent pooping in full makeup, let's remember these stunning moments in history when Hailey put her ass on the line and made important phone calls in important places.

It feels good to finally know where you stand, Hailey Baldwin. Trust us when we say we're right behind you, even on the toilet.

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Taylor Ortega

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Taylor Ortega is a New York based writer and comedian. She performs on Wednesday nights at the PIT and co-hosts "Elite Weekly" on Facebook Live. Buy her a cheese sandwich, please. Insta: carbra_streisand
Taylor Ortega is a New York based writer and comedian. She performs on Wednesday nights at the PIT and co-hosts "Elite Weekly" on Facebook Live. Buy her a cheese sandwich, please. Insta: carbra_streisand

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