Here Are All Of The Places Hailey Baldwin Should Be Sitting Instead Of A Toilet
“McCarthyism” is a homonym.
Its two definitions are not equally acknowledged, but they exist in a shared reality all the same.
Yes, there is a toilet, but she’s also on the phone, ratting out communists in her community. It’s a tough call either way.
Rather than try to discern which message the model is attempting to convey through the absolute labyrinth of conflicting concepts that is her Inprint cover, let’s just imagine her elsewhere.
You know, places where her mere presence can make a loud and clear statement.
Here she is at Trump’s meeting with the House Freedom Caucus.
Hailey is protecting the future of women’s health in America.
Here she is protecting New York’s proposed U-shaped skyscraper.
She’s got her eyes on the skies, terrorists.
Catch your girl Hails on Donald Jr.’s Trump Stump.
Even models need a place to cry.
Hailey also perches at the top of the CN Tower!
She’s got Views of her own, Drake.
She doesn’t mind helping her girl Angela Merkel when the Chancellor gets snubbed.
Hailey’s political commitments are her greatest passion!
This girl is all over the damn place, proving herself a power player in politics, art and homeland security.
Before we berate her for time spent pooping in full makeup, let’s remember these stunning moments in history when Hailey put her ass on the line and made important phone calls in important places.
It feels good to finally know where you stand, Hailey Baldwin. Trust us when we say we’re right behind you, even on the toilet.
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