Taylor Swift Wants A Little Too Much Credit For Making Glitter Lips A Thing
What? No, Taylor. You didn’t… no. Just no.
With the “Fifty Shades Darker” movie premiere around the corner, the production studio decided to give us an early Valentine’s Day gift in the shape of a music video featuring Taylor Swift and Zayn Malik.
Watch this awkward mixture of sexy and what-a-child-trying-to-be-sexy looks like.
Zayn Malik is the sexiest person to walk this planet. His voice is smooth as hell and he looks like something rich old women would bid on in their weird rich old people sex clubs.
Taylor Swift has the sexual energy of a broken refrigerator. I’m sorry, but you KNOW it’s true.
Taylor Swift is obviously gorgeous, but MAN does she just not exude anything even remotely mirroring boinking. She’s like watching a baby giraffe try to put pants on.
One thing she tried to do to fight her sexual handicap was put glitter on her lips.
During an extended footage feature from the video, Taylor said,
What we’re doing right now is a glitter lip that I’ve seen on shoots and on the runway and stuff, but I haven’t really seen people do it in a music video or anything.
One problem: Taylor is not the first person to don glitter lips in a video. She’s probably not even one of the first 100 people to do it.
As Perez Hilton pointed out, literally everyone to ever have a music video ever has thrown glitter on their face.
Miley Cyrus put a bunch of glitter on her face for a music video.
Missy Elliott put a bunch of glitter on her face for a music video.
Kesha put a bunch of glitter on her face for a music video.
Ariana Grande either ate a sugar stick or put glitter onto her face for a music video.
Listen, Taylor, if you would have invented glitter lips in a music video, then you would have invented glitter lips in a music video.
Also, you know what’s better than glitter lips? A billion glitter lips.