The 15 Celebrity Sex Tapes That Need To Happen

Colby Eis

The celebrity sex tape has been evolving over time with the stars involved becoming more and more famous by the year. In fact, results have shown that a sex tape will, in fact, shoot you up into stardom (ex: Kim Kardashian).

The better quality the tape, the more famous you will be. Except if your Farrah Abraham, and we’re staring into the Grand Canyon-sized abyss she calls a vagina in high definition.

Although, from time to time we get some up-and-coming reality TV star to drop a sex tape and we actually enjoy it, these stars truly aren’t the people we would like to see get it on.

We want to see the real celebrities – the people whose lives we wonder about everyday and we watch in the movie theaters, or listen to their music on our iPhones. We want the true, behind the scenes and explicit footage from the private lives of these celebs.

Yes, it may seem a little bit creepy, but it is true. I bet you can’t name one friend (guy or girl) that hasn’t seen either the Paris Hilton, or Kim K, sex tape.

Generation-Y is fascinated with sex, especially when it comes to famous people. These are the 15 celebrity sex tapes we are dying to see:

Tim Tebow and Paris Hilton in TEBONED!

Tim Tebow becomes a bad ass and drops his purity ring in the trash where it belongs. He is back with a vengeance to make up for all those years of avoiding sex and hot girls. Paris Hilton secretly records them getting it on after a long night of partying.

Drake and Amanda Bynes in YMCMB Presents: Vagina Murdering 101

Drake finally decides to hit up troubled star Amanda Bynes after she has been begging for his D on Twitter, asking him to “murder her vagina.” Well, now he has decided to pull an Aaron Hernandez on that p*ssy. Drizzy bakes her out, then takes her crazy ass to town. I guess now he can really say that he started from the bottom.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen in I’m Wide Open!

During the Super Bowl against the NY Giants, Tom Brady couldn’t find any open receivers… well now he has. His wife, super model Gisele Bundchen, redefines the meaning of sex tape with her performance that easily wins her MVP.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian in Kim K Superstar: Yeezus Edition

Kim Kardashian is back for her second sex tape, and now she brings baby daddy Kanye West along for the ride of his life. Kim looks better than ever in the tape, but Yeezy is too focused on staring at himself in the mirror the whole time and fails to give her the proper D she requires. Where’s Ray J when you need him?

Jay-Z and Beyonce in Magnum Carter Holy Rail

Jay-Z and his wife Beyonce show why they are the biggest power couple in the world. When they saw Kim and Kanye drop a sex tape, they knew they had to to top it a few weeks later to keep the shadow intact. HOV and Queen B easily sell the most copies of their sex tape, as they have a deal with Samsung to give away a million copies for free.

Aaron Hernandez and Inmate 73298 in The Tight End

Aaron Hernandez stars in this gay sex tape, as he enters prison fresh off his murder trial and very vulnerable. He knows he will be in prison for the rest of his life, so he decides to go gay right off the bat. He finds Bubba, falls in love and makes some magic. Hernandez sells the proceeds to help support his family, who he abandoned after murdering his friend and losing his $40 million dollar contract.

Chris Brown and Rihanna in Beat That P*ssy Up Part 2

Chris Brown and Rihanna reunite for the 500th time, but this time around, they want the world to know it’s serious, so they release a hot sex tape. Rihanna shows us why they call her bad gal RiRi, and Brown beats her up really badly (not in the face). There is even a deleted scene that shows Brown crying about Drake getting it in.

The NY Knicks and Miley Cyrus in She Ain’t Even Know It 

Miley Cyrus puts her twerking skills to good use by gang banging the entire NY Knicks team at the same damn time. Miley finally erases her Disney princess image like she’s been wanting and is now known as the girl who took 4.3 miles of D at once. The catch of the whole video is that Miley is unknowingly on Molly because the players dropped some in her champagne. The NY Knicks win the championship the following season.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in World War V

If there was an Academy Awards for sex tapes, this one would win for Best Picture. The cinematography is breathtaking and the sex is extraordinary. Brad Pitt and Angelina show why they are the most famous couple in the world and even adopt an Indonesian baby in the process!

Prince William and Kate Middleton in Royal Pleasure 

This sex tape is a huge hit in the United Kingdom. Prince William and Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton truly show what it’s like being modern day royalty. They have sex in every place of the castle and get it all on film. When they’re done getting it on, the couple celebrates over some fish and chips.

Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj in YMCMB Presents: Ratchet Big Booty Hoes 17

Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj decide to collaborate on one of the most ratchet sex tapes of all time. Nicki booty claps, while Wayne sips on some sizzurp. Weezy tongue kisses her other tongue than skeet skeet skeets; water gun. Then, he almost drowns in the p*ssy so he swims to her butt.

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan in Cocaine & Sexy Time

If you thought Scary Movie 5 was bad, then you haven’t seen this. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are way too f*cked up on blow to be making a sex tape, but they do it anyway. Lindsay lays there like a dead fish, while Sheen has a heart attack on top of her. Can you say #Winning?

Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift in Never Say Never Unless That’s The Safe Word

Taylor Swift may not be the biggest fan of Justin Bieber, but the teenage rebel is determined to change that. Bieber is finally over Selena Gomez, and he is ready to show the world. Taylor Swift is done singing about heartbreaks and boys leaving her, so she settles for the Biebs. They link up for this infamous sex tape full of bondage, dildos and other crazy sexual paraphernalia that ends up ruining their careers.

Diddy and Kate Upton in Ciroc Presents: Bottles In Models Vol. 1

According to Diddy and Kate Upton, this sex tape never happened, but now that it has leaked, we know they were just trying to cover it up. They film this legendary sex tape at club LIV in South Beach during one of Diddy’s exclusive parties. Kate Upton looks hotter than ever, as she has just wrapped her 22nd Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover. Diddy shows us that we never knew all of the glorious things you can do with a bottle of Ciroc… until now.

Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian in Kumming On The Kardashians

Lord Disick finally convinces Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian to participate in a threesome with him after a long night of drinking and drama. This sex tape is priceless, as Kourtney bugs out on Scott midway through it because he won’t look at her and stop banging Khloe. Kris Jenner tries getting in on the action as well, but is denied.

BONUS: Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow in Khaleesi Bends Over The Wall

All of Westeros is talking about this sex tape that unites House Stark and House Targaryen. They have crazy sex in exotic locations all over the 7 Kingdoms at places like The Wall, the Iron Throne and even on top of a dragon. After the major success of their sex tape, Daenerys and Jon join forces and take over Westeros to rule together. They even decide to make a sequel called The Red Wedding, but that one is too explicit to go into details about.

Photo Credit: WENN

Colby Eis


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