17 Life Lessons Every ‘Breaking Bad’ Fan Took Away From The Forever Famous Series

17 Life Lessons Every ‘Breaking Bad’ Fan Took Away From The Forever Famous Series
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

With “Breaking Bad” dominating the Emmys this year, there’s no questioning its place as a well-respected show that’s widely adored by fans.

I watched every episode — and not just because Jesse Pinkman made “b*tch” a household expletive. Rather, I watched it for the drama and the laughs, and somewhere along the way, I learned a thing or two.

Here are a few life lessons I took away from “Breaking Bad.”

1. Your science teacher knows a lot more than he’s letting on.

It might seem like he’s just interested in covalent bonds, but behind those protective goggles, there might be a man who knows a lot more than what he’s telling you.

He can also probably get you a great deal on a car wash.

2. Fast food is bad for you, for so many reasons.

Aside from clogging your arteries and making you fat, fast food could also provide the perfect cover for a multi-million dollar drug ring.

Make sure you double check what’s really in those chicken nuggets.

3. Never sleep on your back.

Whether you’re in a heroin-induced stupor or just suffering from a stomach bug, sleeping on your back could kill you. Drowning in your own vomit isn’t as glamorous as it sounds (not that it sounds glamorous at all).

4. If someone has a nickname, use it.

Don’t make someone force you to call him by his nickname when you’re in a dangerous predicament. Just use the nickname. It’s not that hard.

5. You don’t have to be a good student to make lots of money.

Jesse Pinkman barely skated by in high school, yet he made more money within the span of a year than I will ever make. Not too bad for a guy who never once made the Dean’s List.

6. It might be easier to blow up your new car than to take it back, but it’s not cheaper.

If ever you purchase a new car and realize it’s not the right fit for you or your spouse says you need to return it, take it back. It’s a lot easier to get your money back from the dealership than to try to file an insurance claim.

7. A cracked windshield will get you pulled over.

If you have a broken windshield, a police officer will give you a ticket, even if you have the funniest and most poignant speech ever.

8. Storage units are a great way to store large quantities of money.

And, there’s no reason to spring for the climate-controlled unit. The money keeps either way.

9. Stealing an ATM machine doesn’t guarantee you a load of cash.

No amount of destruction to a stolen ATM machine will release the coveted money. It may, however, fall on top of you and crush you. Buyer beware!

10. Magnets can do more than hold things on your fridge.

If you get enough of them, they can turn a police evidence locker on its side.

11. An RV isn’t just for recreation anymore.

It can also be a workshop for a lucrative meth business. It’s great for both work and play!

12. It’s never a good idea to have two cellphones.

Someone will always find out. Always.

13. Lily of the Valley is poisonous.

It definitely should not be ingested, even if its berries are delicious.

14. If you have a friend who offers to pay your medical bills, you should let him or her do it.

Making the friend feel guilty for other wrongs they may have done doesn’t solve anything and will leave you with medical bills. Take the cash.

15. Don’t touch someone’s lucky cigarette.

It might have more than tobacco in it.

16. Not everyone in rehab has the best intentions.

Some are just looking for new customers.

17. An innocent book in the bathroom could hold answers to some plaguing questions.

Just make sure to courtesy flush.

I’ve learned so much from Jesse and Walt. I’m sad my learning won’t continue on with additional seasons, but hey, at least Saul Goodman getting his own show.

If there’s anyone from whom I can learn more life lessons, it’s a dirty lawyer with a catchy slogan.

Photo Courtesy: Breaking Bad

Share Tweet
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Lisa Newlin

Lisa is a humor blogger who plays an unconvincing lawyer in real life. She shouldn't be allowed around sharp objects, breakables, or carbohydrates. She prefers dogs over most people, and food over most everything. Lisa has been featured on several super important websites that are top secret. Her blog, http://lisanewlin.com, will make you feel better about your own life. It will also remind you that vodka is the answer to everything, except if the question is "What should I throw on this fire?" Then the answer is definitely NOT vodka.

More In TV

TV Adam Pliskin

Jimmy Kimmel Becomes An Uber Driver And Picks Up People Around LA

Ride-sharing app Uber has had its fair share of public relations debacles of late, but hopefully, this will help improve the company’s image. Jimmy Kimmel signed up to be an Uber driver and ferried unsuspecting passengers around Los Angeles. The clip focuses on one particular passenger named Eric. Eric, understandably, kind of freaked out when […]

TV Adam Pliskin

‘South Park’ Released The Full-Length Version Of The Lorde Song

Recently, “South Park” made fun of Lorde by claiming that Randy Marsh was actually the teenage crooner. It was more of a statement on the computer-aided production of music these days, rather than a jab at Lorde, which is probably why the actual Lorde took it so well. Now, the “South Park” guys released the […]

TV Ashley Fern

WTF: Mr. Big Says He Thinks Carrie Bradshaw Is A ‘Whore’

It’s pretty awkward when Mr. Big calls Carrie a whore… Excuse me, Mr. Big, but weren’t you the one who cheated on your wife with a single Ms. Bradshaw? Weren’t you the one who couldn’t commit? The show has been over for a while, but Chris Noth, who is currently starring on “The Good Wife,” […]

Also On Elite


Fans Get Into Bloody Brawl In The Middle Of The 49ers-Cardinals Game (Video)

Football just seems to bring out the best in drunk fans. Or, according to this video, the worst. During a heated NFC West clash between the 49ers and Cardinals yesterday in Arizona, fans up top got into a wild altercation that ended with women getting involved and blood being splattered everywhere. It’s not uncommon to […]


Saudi Arabia Will Be Rewarding Its Best Teachers With Luxury Cars

Saudi Arabia may have found the winning strategy to achieving high academic performance, as the country will now be rewarding its best educators with lavish prizes. According to Arabian Business, Saudi Arabia’s Ministry of Education recently declared that the most distinguished teachers, administrators and academic advisors will be given luxury cars like BMWs and as much […]


Guy CCs His 200,000 Coworkers When Asking CEO For A $10,000 Raise

It’s difficult to work up the courage to ask for a raise, let alone raises for the all the employees in your company. Tyrel Oates makes about $15 per hour working for Wells Fargo, and it’s just enough to sustain the 30-year-old. Last week, the Portland, Oregon man sent an email asking for a $10,000 raise […]


It Takes 74 Gallons Of Water to Grow A Single Pound Of Avocados

This is horrible news. Avocados, everyone’s favorite fruit (and the subject of many an Instagram), are apparently ruining the environment. OK, so that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but get this: It takes a whopping 74.1 gallons of water to produce just one pound of avocados (compared to lettuce, which requires 5.5 gallons per pound). […]


17 Reasons Why Your Waxer Is Actually Just Your Best Friend

Waxing is something all women love to complain about. (And if you are not one of these women, you better hop onboard real quick.) But as much as we bitch and moan, we really don’t know where we would be without it. Actually we do: hairy, depressed and definitely alone. But thanks to our waxer, aka our […]