17 Life Lessons Every ‘Breaking Bad’ Fan Took Away From The Forever Famous Series

17 Life Lessons Every ‘Breaking Bad’ Fan Took Away From The Forever Famous Series
TV
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

With “Breaking Bad” dominating the Emmys this year, there’s no questioning its place as a well-respected show that’s widely adored by fans.

I watched every episode — and not just because Jesse Pinkman made “b*tch” a household expletive. Rather, I watched it for the drama and the laughs, and somewhere along the way, I learned a thing or two.

Here are a few life lessons I took away from “Breaking Bad.”

1. Your science teacher knows a lot more than he’s letting on.

It might seem like he’s just interested in covalent bonds, but behind those protective goggles, there might be a man who knows a lot more than what he’s telling you.

He can also probably get you a great deal on a car wash.


2. Fast food is bad for you, for so many reasons.

Aside from clogging your arteries and making you fat, fast food could also provide the perfect cover for a multi-million dollar drug ring.

Make sure you double check what’s really in those chicken nuggets.


3. Never sleep on your back.

Whether you’re in a heroin-induced stupor or just suffering from a stomach bug, sleeping on your back could kill you. Drowning in your own vomit isn’t as glamorous as it sounds (not that it sounds glamorous at all).


4. If someone has a nickname, use it.

Don’t make someone force you to call him by his nickname when you’re in a dangerous predicament. Just use the nickname. It’s not that hard.


5. You don’t have to be a good student to make lots of money.

Jesse Pinkman barely skated by in high school, yet he made more money within the span of a year than I will ever make. Not too bad for a guy who never once made the Dean’s List.


6. It might be easier to blow up your new car than to take it back, but it’s not cheaper.

If ever you purchase a new car and realize it’s not the right fit for you or your spouse says you need to return it, take it back. It’s a lot easier to get your money back from the dealership than to try to file an insurance claim.


7. A cracked windshield will get you pulled over.

If you have a broken windshield, a police officer will give you a ticket, even if you have the funniest and most poignant speech ever.


8. Storage units are a great way to store large quantities of money.

And, there’s no reason to spring for the climate-controlled unit. The money keeps either way.


9. Stealing an ATM machine doesn’t guarantee you a load of cash.

No amount of destruction to a stolen ATM machine will release the coveted money. It may, however, fall on top of you and crush you. Buyer beware!


10. Magnets can do more than hold things on your fridge.

If you get enough of them, they can turn a police evidence locker on its side.


11. An RV isn’t just for recreation anymore.

It can also be a workshop for a lucrative meth business. It’s great for both work and play!


12. It’s never a good idea to have two cellphones.

Someone will always find out. Always.


13. Lily of the Valley is poisonous.

It definitely should not be ingested, even if its berries are delicious.


14. If you have a friend who offers to pay your medical bills, you should let him or her do it.

Making the friend feel guilty for other wrongs they may have done doesn’t solve anything and will leave you with medical bills. Take the cash.


15. Don’t touch someone’s lucky cigarette.

It might have more than tobacco in it.


16. Not everyone in rehab has the best intentions.

Some are just looking for new customers.


17. An innocent book in the bathroom could hold answers to some plaguing questions.

Just make sure to courtesy flush.

I’ve learned so much from Jesse and Walt. I’m sad my learning won’t continue on with additional seasons, but hey, at least Saul Goodman getting his own show.

If there’s anyone from whom I can learn more life lessons, it’s a dirty lawyer with a catchy slogan.

Photo Courtesy: Breaking Bad

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Lisa Newlin

Lisa is a humor blogger who plays an unconvincing lawyer in real life. She shouldn't be allowed around sharp objects, breakables, or carbohydrates. She prefers dogs over most people, and food over most everything. Lisa has been featured on several super important websites that are top secret. Her blog, http://lisanewlin.com, will make you feel better about your own life. It will also remind you that vodka is the answer to everything, except if the question is "What should I throw on this fire?" Then the answer is definitely NOT vodka.

More In TV

TV Adam Pliskin

This ‘Game Of Thrones’ Trick-Or-Treat Parody Wins Halloween

People go nuts for “Game of Thrones,” and I’m sure there will be many Westeros-themed costumes for this year’s Halloween. But, people sometimes take their love of the show too far. At least, that’s what happened in this hilarious “GoT” Halloween video. In this one, a couple of guys treat their yearly collection of candy […]

TV Adam Pliskin

Jake Gyllenhaal And Jimmy Fallon Play An Epic Game Of Water War (Video)

Jake Gyllenhaal went on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” last night to promote his new film, “Nightcrawler.” But, he got more than he bargained for when Fallon roped him into a water war. “What’s a water war?” you ask. Well, it’s when two grown men play War and whoever loses a hand gets a glass […]

TV Adam Pliskin

Mike Tyson Tries To Beat Himself In Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out (Video)

Mike Tyson went on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” last night and Fallon goaded Tyson into playing a round of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. For those who don’t know, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out is a legendary Nintendo game that is incredibly difficult to beat. The final showdown in the game is with none other than Tyson […]

TV Adam Pliskin

Baby Dressed As Uncle Leo From ‘Seinfeld’ Is Actually Quite Scary

Halloween is just around the corner, and that means it’s time to get dressed up in a creative, pop culture-inspired costume. The more obscure the reference, the better. A mother named Kiersten Essenpreis decided to dress her toddler as a fairly obscure character from “Seinfeld.” Essenpreis chose to make her baby, Harlan, look like Jerry’s Uncle Leo for […]

Also On Elite

Entertainment

Awkward: An Old Drunk Man Confused Mindy Kaling For Malala Yousafzai

Mindy Kaling is pretty great. But, she’s small potatoes compared to Malala Yousafzai, the 17-year-old Nobel Peace Prize winner. As I’m sure you recall, Malala survived an attack by the Taliban and has since worked vigorously to fight for the rights of women and children in the Middle East. Recently, an elderly man confused Mindy for […]

Humor

You’ll Never Go In A Garage Again After This Chainsaw Massacre Prank (Video)

VitalyzdTv, one of YouTube’s leading prank channels, shared a video yesterday of what is probably its best and most convincing prank yet: the chainsaw massacre. In honor of Halloween’s upcoming arrival, we’re spreading the fear. The prank is set in a parking garage with a chainsaw “murderer” and his victim, who in some scenes is […]

World

Crazy Pictures Show A Surfer Being Closely Trailed By A Huge Shark

Of all the sports classified as “extreme,” surfing probably comes with the best benefits. Surfers get to spend their time on sunny, sandy beaches in some of the most beautiful countries, but the sport is not without its risks. The biggest danger surfers face is undoubtedly the one thing they can’t control — nature, and […]

Life

To Children Of Divorce: You Are Not The Victims Of Your Parents’ Failure

As many of us are already aware, divorce really isn’t anything new or groundbreaking. Half of all first marriages end in divorce, and the percentages grow with second and third marriages. More interesting than the actual statistics are the effects that divorce can have when children are involved. Many people say children are often victims […]