It is safe to say that throughout time the kind of events that transpire on an average night in a typical nightclub have changed dramatically. Not too long ago, the experience had a few simple objectives: dance, drink, listen to weird music, flaunt your good looks and outfits before finding an attractive partner to copulate with.

In today’s world, going out to a club is a lot more complicated than one would think due to all the mishaps that can arise after encountering some of the more frequent annoyances that never cease to sneak up on us on any given night.

The most fun part about going out to a club now consists of conquering whatever went wrong and almost ruined your good time in the process. It’s almost like a double edged sword, sure it is all fun and games during the moment but the next morning when you truly reflect on what happened you just say to yourself “what the fuck was I thinking?” or “how the hell did I get into that mess?”

Let’s break down some of these annoying instances that make having a fun night like in the days of old a truly impossible feat.

10. The YOLO girl

There maybe nothing more annoying than being in the presence of the YOLO girl at any night out. This is the girl that makes it look like this is her first time in a nightclubs o she decides to drink like a irishman and do more cocaine than Lindsay Lohan in the early 2000s.

Of course the combination of all of these substances has turned her into a very sloppy mess that can’t even stand up straight and is most likely going to throw up at any moment. You never know when she might stumble on over to you and make you feel like you aren’t in a club but a college mixer.

9. People waiting on the line for the bathroom

It seems like people just love waiting on lines these days. They wait on lines both outside the club and inside the club, just because they think that’s what people do in any elite location. There should be no reason anyone should be waiting on a 30 minute line for the bathroom.

If you have to pee that bad and you can’t hold it in, go outside and and piss on the street. If you have to shit go home. If it’s too cold to go outside just cut the line and barrage right in through the door.

8. The song request girl

Girls still don’t understand the fact that DJs hate taking requests no matter how much you would love to hear a Rihanna song on your birthday. No matter how many blowjobs you promise him or no matter how special you think you are they are most likely not going to take your request.

This is not prom or a homecoming or even a Bar Mitzvah. The DJ gets paid a lot of money to put together his own playlist.

7. The jacket situation

We don’t know about where you are but where we are it is getting a bit cold outside so of course everyone in New York likes to show off and wear their most expensive jacket to a club the size of high school classroom. The people who think they are too good for coat check are the ones that get burned the most in this situation.

Not only will your jacket get completely demolished by drinks being spilled on it and feet stepping all over it but if you leave your wallet and keys inside your Purple Label Ralph Lauren coat, there’s a good chance you’ll never see them again.

6. The questionable moment

This is the very moment you look at your watch or phone and then realize to yourself “what the hell did I just do for the last 5 and a half hours inside this place?”

5. Nobody having any fun

Clubs have become more of an aesthetic social scene rather than a place where people go to let loose and have fun. The real fun happens in sloppy college bars where girls get excited from getting a 5 dollar shot bought for them.

If you walk into any club these days, nobody is really dancing or looking like they are comfortable with the environment they are in. They are just standing there, looking around, gossiping and trying to look cool so they can fit into the scene. Go to Europe and watch what they do in a club: now that, my friends, is real fun.

4. Dry humping

While dancing is supposed to be a natural part of clubbing, some people decide to take it to the next level and make soft core porn out of it. This might be better suited at the Motel 6 rather than the dance floor. At this rate, fingering and hand jobs on the dance floor may as well be the new industry standard (you know you’ve seen it and you know you have done it)!

Few sights are more disgusting than those couples completely jump each other’s bones in front of everyone. We have even witnessed a girl whip out a guys dick in the middle of LIV nightclub.

3. The gypsy at the promoter table

Promoters are supposed to bring girls to the club to make the place look bearable. Unfortunately they decided to bring all their bros as well. This means more guys acting like millionaires due to all the watered down Svedka and drunk chicks at their tables.

He will give you his dubious job title and tell you about his great accomplishments. These guys are class-A gypsies and you can never trust a male promoter groupie.

2. Taking any part of clothing off

Both genders are at fault for this. This is not Spring Break in Daytona beach circa 1999. There is no reason why any girl needs to take her heels off in a club and bear her disgusting toes and her chipped manicure. I don’t care how much your feet hurt, just stop, it’s not attractive. If your heels hurt, how about not wearing them?

This isn’t the beach. Guys, on the other hand, love to unbutton their shirts throughout the evening. Every hour another button goes down as if they were an Abercrombie model. Newsflash: Your P90X body is not going to get you laid, douche bag.

1. The bathroom attendant

In no rule book does it say that I have to give you 5 dollars to hand me a towel, squirt some Costco soap in my hand and give me a breath mint.

Maybe you should bring that up to congress during the fiscal cliff conversation. Your job is very simple: you get tipped only when people need to use the bathroom to have sex when you become a gatekeeper, looking out for their embarrassment. Now that deserves some compensation.

Preston Waters | Elite.