Another day, another Reddit forum. Today's topic: What is the worst thing someone has said to you during sex?
We've all been there before! From dirty talk, to forgetting names, to the occasional creepy request, everyone can relate to at least one situation in which something really off-putting was said in the bedroom.
Well, the always vocal members of Reddit chimed in on the riveting topic of discussion, and some of their responses were pretty hilarious. Here are the 13 worst things someone has said during sex, according to Reddit:
The Aggressive Type
"Put his hand over my mouth and said: "Shhhh. Every time you talk, it goes down." - Reddit user Sparkle_Whore
The Mirror Whisperer
"One time things were getting hot and heavy with my girlfriend, she whispers my name into my ear, and, for some reason, I still don't know why, I proceed to whisper my own name back into her ear. Extremely sensually.
Needless to say, no sex was had that night" - Reddit user Sinjas
The Red Stain
"What the fuck is that on my dick?"
It was a giant blood clot, thanks uterus" - Reddit user BlackCaaaaat
The Emcee
"Girl taps on dick and says 'is this thing on?' While holding it like a microphone" - Reddit user Bgodau
Someone's Getting Exhausted
"Jesus. Every other girl I've been with would have cum by now." - Reddit user Samdasoo
The Karaoke Master
"I once drunkenly hooked up with a guy I'd been friends with for a couple of years. We were at a party at his place and the music was loud enough to be heard from the bedroom so we didn't turn any on when we started fooling around.
Everything was going great, we had moved onto the actual sex, when he starts...softly singing. It's not the song that's playing out in the living room either, he just decided to start singing, and he's getting louder and louder until he's really belting it out - "BYYYYE BYE MISS AMERICAN PIE, DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE BUT THE LEVEE WAS DRY!" It was...it was odd." - Reddit user TheWaywardWino
The Slip-Up!
"He called me his wife's name. I did not know he was married." - Reddit user 6606Max
The Misplacement
"That's my stomach."
It was my first time and she was a bit overweight, I just stuck it where it felt the best. - Reddit user vanyel611
The Sad Wiener
My boyfriend said "peepee sad" after a series of giggle fits during sex. He then got up and hit me in the eye with his dick - Reddit user Pyrollina
The Politically Incorrect
Not me, but an old friend of mine.
Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually.
He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, even demeaned a bit, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time.
Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggystyle, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it.
He comes up with: "Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?"
He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now. - Reddit user Blackbyrd82
The Huge Assh*le
"You're an 8 in the dark!" or "You remind me of my ex and it makes me uncomfortable...could you leave?" - Reddit user antiquepaint
The Same-Name Game
Not the worst but definitely weird. My GF's brother and I have the same name. After learning this amazing fact, the next few times we had sex his face would pop into my mind whenever she called out my name. - Reddit user SirMonkeyWaffles
The Cuddle Buddy
"So... do you wanna, just, like, cuddle instead?"
I'm a girl, by the way. Straddling someone you thought you were about to have sex with for the first time, after you've been seeing them for four months, in nothing but a lace thong, and getting asked to just cuddle - let's just say it's quite the confidence-killer. I was 20, he was 25. - Reddit user HappyologyPhD
The V-Card
2 nights ago, about halfway through this girl asked if I was a virgin. As a college guy, this was basically the biggest blow to my self-confidence I can think of... Reddit user Rattlesnake288
Mr. Cums-Too-Early
I said this once after about 10 pumps: "SURPRISE!" Then I came all over her stomach. It was to cover my embarrassment at coming so quickly. - Reddit user ayePALINDROMEeye
A note to men everywhere: Next time you have to bust too early, turn it into a surprise event!
Photo credit: Instagram
