Yesterday was a very significant day in history; a new member of the royal family was born. Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, welcomed their first child, a baby boy. How do I know all of this? Because it was plastered freaking everywhere! Do I care about this? Absolutely not.
Wasn’t part of the reason we revolted from Great Britain that we were tired of them carrying on about the royal family? Queens and princes? What is this, medieval times!? We don’t live in England, so why must we be bombarded by this pregnancy?
I can acknowledge that it is exciting when any family welcomes in a new child, but there have been far more pregnancies we’ve cared about throughout our lifetime than Kate Middleton’s. Whether they be celebrity couples, TV personalities or even cartoons, we’ve been far more emotionally invested in plenty of other pregnancies and newborns than we were yesterday.
Here are 18 baby births we cared more about than the Royal Baby
Dil Pickels, “Rugrats”
When we found out Didi and Stu Pickels were going to have another son, this news was epic. In the first “Rugrats Movie,” we meet Tommy’s little brother Dil, and immediately were more invested in him than we could ever be in the royal baby. Come on, this was “Rugrats” we’re talking about here!
From the moment we met Claire, she was pregnant with baby Aaron. Having only known her on the island as a pregnant woman, and considering “the others” were “TRYING TO STEAL MY BAY-BAY,” obviously his birth was going to be a big deal.
Honestly, who doesn’t love Jay Z and Beyoncé? They might be the greatest celebrity couple to ever exist. Both of them are legends in the world of music and entertainment, so naturally their child is going to be something highly anticipated.
Harrison Morgan, “Dexter”
It was crazy when we found out Rita (rest in peace) was pregnant. How was Dexter going to be an actual father? Could he protect his family? This made Harrison’s birth way more interesting and nerve-racking for us than the royal baby.
Joshua Gabriel Matthews, “Boy Meets World”
Potentially one of the most emotional roller coasters we ever went on as kids (and I’ve been to so several amusement parks), this episode was a tough one to handle. When the baby eventually prevailed, we celebrated harder than we ever could for a family in Britain. We actually felt like we were a part of the Matthews family.
Emma Geller, “Friends”
To this day, we still compare an “on again/ off again” couple as the “Ross and Rachel” of our friends. Of course, we are going to be deeply invested in their child! William and Kate are no Ross and Rachel.
Baby Girl, “Knocked Up”
The whole movie was about the pregnancy, how could you not be more invested in how it was going to turn out? Plus that labor scene was one of the funniest/cringe-worthy scenes of all time. Kate and William’s son may eventually wear a crown, but the crowning of the child in “Knocked Up” is something I will NEVER forget.
It’s regrettable to say this, but as much as I can’t stand either Kim or Kanye as people, I did care a lot more about their baby. It’s a much more interesting story, and the two of them (though minimally) do play somewhat of a role in my life. Do Kate and Willam make music or reality TV shows that my girlfriend makes me watch, no!!
This is another one I regret admitting, but honestly, yes, we were more fascinated and interested in this birth than the Royal family’s. How was Snooki going to possibly give birth? Is she going to ‘jersey turnpike’ out the baby? Will she be wasted during the procedure? Is it going to just be a meatball? These were all questions that made us more invested in her birthing process than we ever were in Kate Middleton’s.
Khaleesi’s Dragons, “Game Of Thrones”
Kate Middleton may be the Duchess of Cambridge, but Khaleesi is a queen. Plus she gave birth to dragons, not just a baby, but f*cking dragons. Do I have to say more?
Cece Halpert, “The Office”
If we’re not comparing the “on again/off again” couple to Ross and Rachel, we are comparing the “met at work/what are they waiting for” couple to Jim and Pam. It took several seasons for the two who clearly liked each other, to actually get past the obstacles in their way to be with each other. Obviously their child is going to have more significance to any “The Office” fan than the royal baby would.
How could you not have been so curious about this baby? Katie Holmes wasn’t allowed to scream during the procedure!! Could you imagine what that must have been like? A “silent birth?” That makes about as much sense as an exciting baseball game (low blow). That delivery room must have been a sight to see. I wonder if the doctors dressed up like mimes?
Phoebe’s Triplets, “Friends”
Before Rachel even seduced Ross into having sex, which led to their baby, Phoebe did her brother a favor and was a surrogate for him and his wife. Phoebe ended up having triplets and in an emotional scene had to say goodbye to them, even though she wanted to ask just to keep one. Did Kate have to go through something as tough? Didn’t think so.
Simba, “Lion King”
Right from the beginning of the movie, we were introduced to Pride Rock and the birth of the future king, Simba. As Rafiki raised him to the sky with Elton John blasting in the background, you couldn’t help but feel the epic experience and how iconic the scene would eventually become. Do you really think when William and Kate introduce the world to their baby that it will be nearly as spectacular? Of course not. No Rafiki, no fun!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger pregnant!? Could you ask for a better plot to a movie!? I can pretty confidently say that we were more invested in how this was going to turn out than we ever could have been with the royal baby.
Nicky and Alex. “Full House”
Way before there was Brad and Angelina, there was Jesse and Becky. Both too good looking to be on the same show as Bob Saget, audiences were in love with their story and naturally gave a lot more of sh*t about their kids than Prince William and Kate’s. Plus, they have way better hair.
Fulgencio Pritchett, “Modern Family”
When we found out Gloria was pregnant, it was a shocker. We immediately had so many questions: how would it affect her boobs? How crazy was she going to scream when going into labor? Can Jay really still get it up?
Ling-Wong’s Baby Panda, “Anchorman”
This rare panda’s pregnancy captured the hearts of millions. I almost traveled to the San Diego Zoo just to see it. Classic
I guess what I’m really trying to say is, we’re Americans; we like to watch TV and we don’t give a sh*t about royal babies. Stop taking over the news!