25 Fortune Cookies For Gen-Y This Chinese New Year

25 Fortune Cookies For Gen-Y This Chinese New Year
LOL Lists
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Happy Chinese New Year!

Today marks the beginning of the 15-day celebration of the Chinese New Year, as we reflect on the close of the year of the water snake and welcome the start of the year of the wooden horse. Nay!

In honor of the traditional Chinese holiday and the beginning of the new year, we bring you some fortune cookie wise words for the members of Generation-Y. Where better to get advice than from your local Chinese restaurant?

Here are 25 Gen-Y fortune cookies this Chinese New Year:

For the sexually active…

1_

When it comes to your grandparents…

25_

When it comes to Molly…

24_

When it comes to our emotions…

23

When it comes to #TBT…

tbt_future (1)

For the “entrepreneurs”…

21_

For the Facebook over-sharers…

20_

Facts are facts…

19_

For the disloyal ones…

18_

No more duck faces…

17_

For the social media obsessed…

16_

For the ones always concerned with Internet connection…

15_

For those who post too many photos…

14_

For those who need to take a step back…

13_

Your dream come true…

12_

Words to live by…

11

Stop checking your phone…

9_

Words from Miley…

8_

For those too concerned with posting…

instagram_Fortune_cookie

For the heavy drinkers…

7_

For those who can’t move on…

6_

For the Twitter obsessed…

5_

Walk away from the computer…

4_

Don’t worry about rent…

3_

For the Tinder folks…

2_

Happy Chinese New Year!

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In LOL Lists

LOL Lists Connor Toole

We Had No Idea: 8 Songs We Shouldn’t Have Sung Along To As Kids

Music has always been filled with double entendres and innuendos, but that doesn’t mean that every single listener is going to understand what’s going on. This is especially true of young children who have a reputation for latching onto catchy tunes even if they don’t know what half the words are. This can unfortunately create […]

LOL Lists Cecily Trowbridge

Fangirls And Fanboys Unite: 5 Types Of People You’re Guaranteed To See At Comic-Con

Imagine stepping outside of your downtown apartment building and seeing Wonder Woman stroll on by with Catwoman in tow. Oh, and there’s Superman sipping a latte over there! Welcome to Comic-Con, San Diego’s premier celebration of all things superhero, supervillain and Minecraft. If you haven’t been, you’re missing out, but in the meantime, here’s a […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

Everything You Need To Know About IceJJFish, The Voice Of A Generation

“Chinese Democracy.” “Detox.” Over the course of modern music, there have been a number of widely anticipated albums, but I can’t imagine that anyone has ever felt the anticipation that I feel for the upcoming release of “Miracle,” the first real offering from musical sensation IceJJFish. If you don’t know who IceJJFish is, I’m both […]

Also On Elite

Humor

‘Roommate Shaming’ Is The New Dog Shaming And It Is Fantastic (Photo)

Over the past couple of years, a trend called “dog shaming” has surfaced in which owners take pictures of their pets with a note outlining the destructive or inconsiderate behavior their canine put on display. If you like cute dogs and mildly amusing anecdotes, this is the fad for you. As is only natural, this […]

World

This Is What Happens When ‘Real Men’ Pose As Underwear Models (Photos)

Lots of people falsely believe that the patriarchy only hurts women and that feminism is some kind of fight against men. What most people don’t know is that the patriarchy and our existing male-dominated society hurts men, too. While women are expected to take a backseat to men, men are held to other impossible masculine […]

Women

This Pepper Spray Does Its Job And Snaps A Photo Of Attackers As Well

While technology is sometimes used for more silly and inane activities (because are people seriously still using Snapchat?!), sometimes it’s harnessed for a greater good like in this little device’s case, to make women more safe. Already exceeding its Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign, the Defender promises to revolutionize how women protect themselves, allowing them to seek justice against […]

Women

People Are Flipping Out Over J. Crew’s New 000 ‘Vanity Size’

J. Crew has announced a size 000/XXXS to their clothing line, a move that Racked called “vanity sizing” that reaches “a whole new level of crazy.” The company’s corporate says this new size is meant to reach Asian markets overseas, especially in Hong Kong, who are in need of smaller sizes. A spokesperson told the Today […]