The 25 People You Encounter On NYC Subways

The 25 People You Encounter On NYC Subways
LOL Lists
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

There is nothing like riding the subway in NYC. You never really know what you’re going to get once you step foot into the city’s underworld but one thing is certain; nothing will prepare you for some of the ratchet shit that goes on down there.

The people that you encounter on a day-to-day basis are straight out a s sci-fi movie. However these are the same people who make NYC what it is: a melting pot of crazy ass people.

Make sure you’re ready for what you will surely witness if you’re not from around here. These are the 25 People You Encounter On NYC Subways.


25. The Homeless Guy Who Smells Like Shit

We’ve all seen him. The guy who smells so terrible that he clears out the entire Subway car. No one wants to say anything because he is clearly homeless, but god damn! Wash yo ass! He is commonly seen wrapped in newspapers with a large pushing cart full of goodies. His piss poor smell is something that will haunt you for life.

24. The Dude Who Listens To Music Way Too Loud

We get it dude. You like Meek Mill. But there is no reason I should have to listen to the entire Dreamchasers 2 mixtape on the way to work or school. No one refers to you as “Racked Up Shawty.” If they did, then you probably wouldn’t be taking the train. Why don’t you start listening to some music you can relate to?

23. The Kids Selling Candy

These kids are truly urban entrepreneurs. We all know you aren’t raising money for your basketball team, so just stop with this act. There’s nothing wrong with their hustle but beware if you try to buy a chocolate bar during summer. You will surely be eating a melted piece of shit.

22. The Panhandler With The Crazy Story

As unfortunate as it is, some people are forced to beg on the train for change. And even worse is that most people just ignore them. While we feel bad for you, most of us don’t like to be bothered during our commute. Headphones usually come on when he starts his rant about losing his job and his dog dying. It’s New York, man. This is the only place where literally anyone can become a millionaire if they tried.

21. The Comedian Who Cuts Everyone’s Ass

This guy is usually spotted on the 6 train on Friday nights when all of the young people are going out. He puts on a show, hollering at all the cute ladies, making them hilariously uncomfortable or cutting ass on anyone who looks funny. It’s all fun and games… until he starts to violate you.

20. The Super Stoned Dude

This guy looks like he walked in straight off a bong rip. Not only does he smell like a fresh blunt but his eyes are as red as the devil’s dick and he can’t get that silly grin off his face. Unless you are this guy, you completely hate him and are envious of his wavy lifestyle.

19. The Cute Chicks Who Only Get Off at 14th and 59th Street

Whenever we see these girls, we can’t help but get that “You’re Beautiful” song by James Blunt out of our head. It seems like whenever you see them, they are just about to get off… and most of the time it’s either at 14th street Union Square or at 59th. Bullshit. You trying to come to the crib and watch me and my boys play 2K?

18. The Cluster Of Tourists

Did you deadass just roll up to NYC 40 people deep? You can usually spot these creatures wearing horrible denim and Skechers shoes. They are seen exclusively around Times Square and 42nd street, and they most of the time ruin your vibe. Not to be a typical asshole New Yorker, but please go back to your shitty state. You aren’t built for this life.

17. The Loud Ass High School Kids

Is it me or are high school kids getting crazier and crazier? They usually roll in packs and are 10 times more ratchet than you can ever remember being at that age. You never know what you’ll get with them either, whether it be the most idiotic conversation you ever heard in your life or them dancing around like dickheads, you are sure to be annoyed.

16. The Last F*cker In

This guy. You had to do it didn’t you? Didn’t you already see that the train is at capacity? What would propel you to jump your fat ass in the car just to add to the already overcrowded space? This guy makes your ride experience all the less enjoyable as pretty much everyone in his vicinity hates him.

15. The Guy Having The Worst Day Ever Wishing A Motherf*cker Would

This dude is just waiting to bop someone in the face. He obviously had a shitty day, so you use your best judgment to not even look his way. If some poor soul decides to even test him, then you have your latest Worldstar video to record.

14. The Ultra Gay Dude

What is good with this dude? We have nothing against gay people, but god damn! He uses the train as his stage to do ridiculously sus things such as dance around or sing. And the worst is when they use the pole to swing around as if it was was some kind of giant metal dick. We get it, you’re probably a Broadway dancer but no one is trying to see you twerking around after a long day at work.

13. The Abusive Mother

It’s hard being a single mother, especially when you have five kids and are trying to take them somewhere in the city. To be able to do this, you obviously have to be strict. But sometimes mothers take it a little too far, even in front of a crowd of people. Is everyone on the train supposed to pretend like they didn’t just hear some lady tell her 3-year-old son that she was going to smack the shit out of him if he got up again? It’s cool.

12. The Chinese Lady Selling DVDs/Mexicans Selling Churros

These old ladies are hustlers! And they got that work! When does any New Yorker have time to watch a $15 movie at the theater? Never. So why not cop a bootleg of Springbreakers and watch it now? And don’t forget about the churro lady. She got the cinnamon sticks for days.

11. The Kids from Harlem That Think They’re in Cirque du Soleil

These are the kids who think the subway car is an interactive dance floor. Beware if you are standing by a handle bar as they use these to propel themselves into what is the real Harlem Shake. This is mild entertainment at most.

10. The Asshole Who’s Eating

The last thing you want to smell in the packed underworld of NYC is McDonald’s breakfast. Sure this is a great meal, but it’s also the last scent you want to experience in a place infested with rats and crackheads. There is something really unappealing about being in the same cart as a sausage egg McMuffin and the smelly guy.

9. The Girl With Her Hair In Your Face

The train can get crowded, this much we know. But there is nothing more annoying than when some chick’s messy bun gets all in your face. Especially when she’s muck. If you do find yourself in the rare situation of being behind a hot girl, then you have the pleasure of enjoying some of the sweetest scents the train will ever have to offer. But then again, you’re more than likely to end up next to some smelly white chick with purple dreads. Horrible.

8. The Sleeping Guy

There is nothing more entertaining than watching some guy fighting his own sleep to stay awake on the train. You pray that he misses his stop just to see him freak out when he realizes how far he has gone. But you often never get to see this as homeboy is completely assed out for the entire duration of your trip.

7. The Hot Girl That Everyone’s Gawking At

A little advice: don’t be a hot girl in the subway. Guys are used to seeing some Princess Fiona from Shrek shit down there so when a hot chick comes around it’s truly a miracle. What are you doing down here anyway? Don’t girls like you take cabs? Did you not find your sugar daddy yet? She’s definitely a whore. That’s pretty much the thought process of every guy whenever they see this natural phenomenon.

6. The Crazy Thug

This guy makes the guy who is having the worst day ever look like a straight bitch. How do you even get that buff? And hood? Most of the time they will be seen wearing some wild looking jacket, but who the hell is going to tell them they look like an idiot? I mean come on. This guy looks like he’s straight off Ryker’s Island. How the hell is he with the general population right now?

5. The Mariachi Dudes

Ain’t no party like a Mariachi party. And sometimes on the train, that’s exactly what it is! These three little dudes
have a lot of heart, playing their country music for a bunch of asshole New Yorkers. They always turn up and make every ride they’re on enjoyable.

4. The Super Sweaty Dude

Tell me how it’s 60 degrees outside and the train A/C is on and homeboy is perspiring like he just popped three mollys. He is undeniably sweaty and honestly, it’s quite offensive. Get your shit together, man. Go to the doctors and get that checked out or something!

3. The Handrail Kamikaze

This person will go at all costs to get their hand on a rail. Relax, it’s so f*cking crowded in here that if there was a sharp turn, you couldn’t go anywhere if you wanted to. Even worse is when their hand keeps sliding onto yours. Either get taller or back up, please!

2. The PDA Couple

What, you couldn’t afford a cab to go smash your girl? Keep this shit off the train, guys. No seriously, there’s definitely mad germs everywhere, this isn’t “The Notebook.” And stop grinding on him, you’re starting to give me a boner now. Seriously.

1. The Seat Shark

This is the scum of the NYC subway. And usually it’s some old ass lady. They are ruthless and will go at all costs to make sure they are seated for one more stop. But whatever. They’re probably going to die in a couple of years anyway. Too much?

Top Photo Credit: Getty Images

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Anthony Selden

Anthony is a New York-based writer and a graduate of Johnson & Wales University with a passion for exploring the cooler things in life. Always eager to inform, Anthony is the lifestyle editor at Elite Daily and is knowledgeable about pretty much anything within the walls of awesomeness: from the latest Lamborghini, to the most absurd burgers around. He also enjoys spontaneous skateboarding sessions on New York City's Upper East Side. Much like writing, it's what keeps the guy alive.

More In LOL Lists

LOL Lists Lauren Martin

What The Instrument You Quit In Middle School Says About You

There are few memories we can look back on from our middle school and high school years that bring us joy. Most of them are full of shame, regret and self-loathing. And a few are just f*cking embarrassing. While we all have our own collection of horrible, humiliating and sickening moments, there are a few, […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

20 Kids Whose Parents Had Way Too Much Fun Dressing Them Up For Halloween

Over the past few years, there’s been a noticeable trend around Halloween where parents post pictures of their children dressed up in costumes they couldn’t possibly appreciate and that they definitely didn’t ask for. When I say “children” in this situation, I’m referring to kids who are capable of having and sharing conscious thought. If […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

17 Jack-O-Lanterns That Tried So Hard But Failed (Photos)

It’s October, which means that whatever screen you view things on is about to be filled with picture after picture of pumpkins carved by people who spent way too much time mastering a skill that’s only useful for a couple of weeks every year. In the past, you could carve a few triangles and a […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

14 Snapchats From Your Favorite Horror Movie Villains (Photos)

There are two weeks left until Halloween, and if you haven’t already gotten sick of all the holiday-related list, articles and videos, just give it a little bit of time — you’ll be begging for Christmas carols and corny commercials before you can say “commercialization.” I’m a big fan of horror movies, and considering a […]

Also On Elite

Film

The New ‘Interstellar’ Trailer Looks Like An Epic Sci-Fi Masterpiece

Buckle up, boys and girls. The final “Interstellar” trailer is here, and it is a doozy. The film comes out November 7, and this is probably the last new footage we’ll see until then. In the trailer, we see some more of McConaughey’s interactions with his family as well a deeper look at some of […]

Women

Remembering Oscar De La Renta: How The Timeless Designer Will Live On

Oscar de la Renta’s name is synonymous with timeless, mesmerizing style. With a career that spans over half a century, the Dominican-American fashion icon dressed everyone from first ladies and Academy Award winners to women like you and me, who were lucky enough to find his pieces at high-end consignment stores. With an incomparable knack […]

Envision

Wedding Photographer Uses Optical Illusions To Creatively Capture The Special Day

Photographer Wes Eisenhauer has a new perspective on the wedding photograph. Instead of the traditional smile or kiss, Eisenhauer creates a picture with both poses and gives the happy couple a special token to take from the day. Eisenhauer, based in South Dakota, combines multiple images through digital editing and a little trickery. He uses mirrored reflections […]

World

Idiot Decides To Dress Like Ray Rice, Wins Scumbag Of The Year Award

There’s always some goon who thinks domestic violence is funny. Reddit user AL0311 posted a picture of an anonymous attendee at a recent Halloween party. The man in the picture sports a Ray Rice jersey and full football gear. But, that’s not all: He’s dragging a black, female sex doll around. The costume, which references security camera […]

Entertainment

Amber Rose Has Filed For Divorce From Wiz Khalifa And Wants Full Custody Of Son

On Monday, model Amber Rose filed for divorce from rapper Wiz Khalifa. The couple, who have a prenuptial agreement, file just as rumors spread about potential infidelity from Rose. After Nick Cannon signed Rose to his management company earlier this month, NCredible Entertainment, the pair allegedly began sleeping together. In the documents, Rose asks for […]