The 25 Problems Every Short Guy Has Had To Deal With

Tyler Gildin

Hi, my name is Tyler and I’m a short guy. It feels good to finally be honest. Since about eighth grade, I’ve been  5’8”. Okay, fine I’m 5’7” — 5’6”, but who’s counting, right? Any short guy would tell you though, it feels like everyone is!

Being short certainly has its disadvantages, but being a short guy…that can be brutal. From dealing with your friends making fun of you, to trying to get with taller women, to struggling not to get picked last every time in pick-up basketball — being a little guy comes with a lot of large problems.

But what better way to deal with the big/little issue than to laugh about it? Hey, Napoleon was only 5′ 7” and he conquered almost all of Europe. Every short guy can have his moment! By the way, I’m really 5’5”…

Here are 20 problems every short guy has had to deal with:

Your friends always lose you in large crowds


You have to tell your girlfriend how high her heels can be


You’ve admitted to yourself that if it were socially acceptable to wear heels, you would


You always stand on your tippy toes in pictures


It’s awkward 69ing with a tall girl


Realistically, you’ve never been with a tall girl


People assume you have a small penis


Alright fine… you usually do have a small penis


As a diss, your friends tell you to shop at Baby Gap

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Or they call you a munchkin


…Or a dwarf


…Or a hobbit


…Or a minion


…Or an elf


Your least favorite phrase growing up was: “Line up in height order”


You always had to hold the sign on class picture day

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You’re still referred to as cute


You’ve, at one time, referred to yourself as “vertically challenged”

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You secretly hate your friends who are over 6 feet


You don’t meet some girls’ “height requirement” when it comes to dating


People always say things like, “at least you have all your hair”


You hated going to amusement parks when you were younger

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… So you walked around carnivals looking for this guy


You’re forced to become best friends with your local tailor


Someone always tries to pick you up

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Whatever, at least when it rains, we get to walk under everybody else’s umbrellas! #ShortGuyProblems

Tyler Gildin

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