The 25 Problems Every Short Guy Has Had To Deal With

Tyler Gildin

Hi, my name is Tyler and I’m a short guy. It feels good to finally be honest. Since about eighth grade, I’ve been  5’8”. Okay, fine I’m 5’7” — 5’6”, but who’s counting, right? Any short guy would tell you though, it feels like everyone is!

Being short certainly has its disadvantages, but being a short guy…that can be brutal. From dealing with your friends making fun of you, to trying to get with taller women, to struggling not to get picked last every time in pick-up basketball — being a little guy comes with a lot of large problems.

But what better way to deal with the big/little issue than to laugh about it? Hey, Napoleon was only 5′ 7” and he conquered almost all of Europe. Every short guy can have his moment! By the way, I’m really 5’5”…

Here are 20 problems every short guy has had to deal with:

Your friends always lose you in large crowds

You have to tell your girlfriend how high her heels can be

You’ve admitted to yourself that if it were socially acceptable to wear heels, you would

You always stand on your tippy toes in pictures

It’s awkward 69ing with a tall girl

Realistically, you’ve never been with a tall girl

People assume you have a small penis

Alright fine… you usually do have a small penis

As a diss, your friends tell you to shop at Baby Gap


Or they call you a munchkin

…Or a dwarf

…Or a hobbit

…Or a minion

…Or an elf

Your least favorite phrase growing up was: “Line up in height order”

You always had to hold the sign on class picture day


You’re still referred to as cute

You’ve, at one time, referred to yourself as “vertically challenged”


You secretly hate your friends who are over 6 feet

You don’t meet some girls’ “height requirement” when it comes to dating

People always say things like, “at least you have all your hair”

You hated going to amusement parks when you were younger


… So you walked around carnivals looking for this guy

You’re forced to become best friends with your local tailor

Someone always tries to pick you up


Whatever, at least when it rains, we get to walk under everybody else’s umbrellas! #ShortGuyProblems

Tyler Gildin

Digital Editor