The 25 Problems Every Short Guy Has Had To Deal With

The 25 Problems Every Short Guy Has Had To Deal With
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Hi, my name is Tyler and I’m a short guy. It feels good to finally be honest. Since about eighth grade, I’ve been  5’8”. Okay, fine I’m 5’7” — 5’6”, but who’s counting, right? Any short guy would tell you though, it feels like everyone is!

Being short certainly has its disadvantages, but being a short guy…that can be brutal. From dealing with your friends making fun of you, to trying to get with taller women, to struggling not to get picked last every time in pick-up basketball — being a little guy comes with a lot of large problems.

But what better way to deal with the big/little issue than to laugh about it? Hey, Napoleon was only 5′ 7” and he conquered almost all of Europe. Every short guy can have his moment! By the way, I’m really 5’5”…

Here are 20 problems every short guy has had to deal with:

Your friends always lose you in large crowds

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You have to tell your girlfriend how high her heels can be

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You’ve admitted to yourself that if it were socially acceptable to wear heels, you would

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You always stand on your tippy toes in pictures

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It’s awkward 69ing with a tall girl

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Realistically, you’ve never been with a tall girl

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People assume you have a small penis

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Alright fine… you usually do have a small penis

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As a diss, your friends tell you to shop at Baby Gap

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Or they call you a munchkin

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…Or a dwarf

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…Or a hobbit

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…Or a minion

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…Or an elf

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Your least favorite phrase growing up was: “Line up in height order”

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You always had to hold the sign on class picture day

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You’re still referred to as cute

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You’ve, at one time, referred to yourself as “vertically challenged”

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You secretly hate your friends who are over 6 feet

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You don’t meet some girls’ “height requirement” when it comes to dating

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People always say things like, “at least you have all your hair”

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You hated going to amusement parks when you were younger

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… So you walked around carnivals looking for this guy

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You’re forced to become best friends with your local tailor

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Someone always tries to pick you up

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Whatever, at least when it rains, we get to walk under everybody else’s umbrellas! #ShortGuyProblems

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Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

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