The 50 Types Of People You Encounter On Instagram
Instagram is a funny place. While it’s the favorite social media source to millions of people worldwide, we are slowly starting to see the market become oversaturated.
What do I mean by this? Well if you haven’t noticed every user is beginning to become the same person, spewing out the same redundant bullsh*t on a weekly basis. I’m sure we can all agree that this gets pretty annoying after a while.
Just like Myspace and Facebook did before, IG will become a fad in due time. Until then, these are the 50 Types Of People You Encounter On Instagram.
50. The Internet Model
This girl just tries too hard to look sexy. And while she’s hot, she is not nearly as poppin’ as she thinks she is. You will frequently find her throwing 50 plus hashtags on her selfies in a thirsty attempt to obtain more followers and likes. She truly believes that by doing this, she will break into the game and become a real model. Idiot. When asking her what her modeling agency is she will simply reply Instagram. The best part about it is that she is not half as hot as she originally looks because of the amount of filters she puts over herself. The thirst is real out there and these women will do anything for a new follower, like or comment.
49. The Rapper
We get it man. Your mixtape is coming out on the 16th and it’s supposed to be fire. But please stop bombarding us with the reminders or any behind the scenes screenshots of your next “video.” Come on man, you’re going to be 30 soon and you still haven’t made it. It’s time to start thinking of a backup plan. There’s no way that chain is real my dude and no one cares that you are performing in some no name club in Astoria.
48. The Celebrity
No matter which celebrity you follow, they are all pretty much the same entity. You will surely get a glimpse of a pretty lavish lifestyle –which is no doubt awesome. But this enjoyment soons fade away once they start bombarding you with subliminal advertisements for products that sponsor them. Chumps. The only cool celebrity to follow is Diddy because he is so disrespectful.
47. The Fashionista
This is a very loose title as every girl with an Instagram thinks she knows everything about fashion. But for the most part you will see these girls out at all of the hottest clubs getting wasted, then presumably getting banged soon after. They are shameless and will even Instagram themselves doing the walk of shame and walking through the doors of their renowned fashion school that they claim is so hard to get into. It’s safe to say that if parents were to see their IG account, tuition at their shitty fashion school would no longer be taken care of. Between Instagraming drugs, mirror selfies and stupid designs that make absolutely no sense, it is safe to say these girls should not be allowed to have an IG.
46. The Promoter
These are no doubt the biggest scum bags out on IG. Not only are you going to get your news feed flooded with pictures of shitty girls drinking cheap vodka at the worst clubs, but you will also be bombarded with promoter flyers, as they are always looking for new ways to get their party out there. They really ain’t shit and their parties that they are promoting are even worse than they are. The best is when they hashtag #clique everywhere they go.
45. The Rich Kid
These are the ones who just seem to have it all. You will often see them riding private jets, rocking a Rolex and ordering magnum bottles at the club. It’s something light for them too as this is the life — they were blessed with this amazing lifestyle. However you’ll have a hard time not deleting them as looking at their posts will surely make you sick. The rich kids of Instagram have really gone above and beyond to look for attention from the rest of the world to show off how well they are spending their parents’ money.
44. The Pro Athlete
It’s always cool to see how your favorite sports star lives. And it’s every bit of awesome as you would expect! They are like rock stars getting love where ever they go and traveling the country to play games and bang groupies. Expect to see lots of good times and hilarious moments when following any of these guys.
43. The Unpredictable Basketball Star
Besides any hot chick, these are the best accounts to follow. You never know what you’ll get with them. But one thing
is for certain; it’s sure to be ratchet. From stripper booties to stacks of cash, it’s always good to get a look into the life of someone who’s going to be broke in four years.
42. The Foodie
Listen, we’re not calling you fat… but stop eating so much fatass! Sure if you’re having an epic once-in-a-lifetime meal then by all means take a snap. But if you find yourself capturing every moment you’re eating, then you need to prioritize your life. Nobody cares about your eggs benedict or your pictures of sushi. Don’t you feel like a complete ass taking these pics with flash in restaurants?
41. The Low Budget Foodie
Even worse than the foodie… is the low-budget foodie. Under no circumstance is it okay to Instagram your McDonald’s breakfast or chicken McNuggets. And don’t think that putting a filter will add to the allure of your trashy meal.
40. The Frat Bro
These are the worst. They can be easily identified with traits such as popped collars, lame hair and no swag. They have nothing to offer but some snaps of cheap beer and the same sorority hookers they constantly hook up with every weekend. And don’t forget about all of the fantastic flicks they like to take in front of the house as if they were the Wu-Tang of their campus. You will even catch some of them posing with their shirts off because you know they are just so “brolic” — as they would like to describe it.
39. The Sorority Chick
This truly is the bottom of the barrel when it comes to following chicks on IG. If you want to see what pedestrian really means…look no further! You will for the most part see a barrage of selfies, pregame outfits and them bunched up together wearing matching fluorescent t-shirts. Who can forget their excellent photoshop work of dropping in an Oscar Wilde quote on a picture of her and her BFF’s as she would describe it.
38. The Baddest Girl You’ve Ever Seen
This is the girl who makes you hate all of the girls you know for not being as hot. Their badness truly makes no sense as you can often see them in the hottest spots or traveling the world. These ones are the most expensive. You better be an athlete or loaded if you’re even thinking about bagging them.
37. Your Crush
The girl that you’ve been trying to get with for the longest but for some reason could never close. You get hyped whenever you see her on your feed and jealous whenever she’s with another guy. This is a great way to keep tabs on her and make sure she isn’t being too big of a whore so that when you can afford her, she’s not as expired as the rest of them.
36. Your Childhood Crush
The chick you basically grew up with. You have known her your whole life and have wanted to bang her before you even knew what banging was. Although she isn’t as hot as she was before, you would still probably smash on some personal achievement shit just to boost your ego and make your young self feel appreciated.
35. Your Ex
F*ck this girl. She made your life a living hell but neither of you will unfollow each other, just to show that you are over the other person and “mature.” You have something negative to say about them everytime you see their pictures come up on your feed. They try to look like they are having a good time, but you know that they’re miserable without you. What it basically becomes is a battle of who can fake being the happiest the most, the funny part is there is no winner.
34. Your Ex-Ex
If you thought your ex was taking a step backwards, then your ex-ex is too. You probably can’t even believe you dated her as she most likely wasn’t your proudest accomplishment. You would be glad to see her in pictures with other dudes just to know she is still getting it and for you to think to yourself I hope he enjoy how my dick tastes. Ya bish.
33. The Hot Girl From High School That Got Ugly
This one spread virally throughout all of your friends as the hottest girl in your school has done the unthinkable… and turned ugly. You can’t even believe that you used to fap it to her — and this is a questionable one to even follow. This is one of the most tragic phenomena to occur on social media as no one likes to see a sexy girl go sour. But as the old saying goes, once girls hit their peaks, it is all down hill from there and when it happens in high school — her 20s are terrible.
32. The Ugly Girl From High School That Got Hot
No way. No one saw this coming as one of the girls you never paid any attention to is now certified bad! This makes you regret ever ignoring her or being an asshole. Now you surely have no chance with her as she has leveled up. Her posts will be haunting reminders of this terrible mistake.
31. The Stoner
We get it dude. You like to smoke weed! And a lot of weed at that. That doesn’t mean every one of your posts has to be a fat nug or rolled doobie. Why don’t you get your shit together and then smoke.
30. The Stoner Chick
Now this is much better. While we don’t always want to see our boys making smoke rings in their pictures, we wouldn’t mind seeing some ladies doing it. Nothing is sexier than a girl who likes to smoke (and probably cook). Lucky for us, Instagram is the perfect haven for them to show off their laid-back lifestyles.
29. The Cuffer
This is also another one of the worse accounts to follow. Nothing is more annoying than seeing some corny ass couple who go everywhere together and document their escapades through Instagram. Whenever they break up you can expect to see an absence of posts… that is until they make up and get back together. We get it, you two are in love and can’t wait to show the world how glamorous it looks through X-Pro II filter.
28. Your Friend’s Hot Girlfriend
Instagram is the only place where you can finally peep swag. You don’t want to ever say anything, but you would totally bang your boy’s girl. Seeing her pictures reminds you that you would throw away your friendship just to get with her. Cold world.
27. The Sneaker Head
People who wait in lines at Foot Locker have nothing else to do but take massive amounts of pictures of their sneaker collection. We don’t care about your Galaxy foamposites. They’re actually hideous! Don’t be a f*ckboy and try to avoid doing this.
26. The Hood Dude
We all know one and now they are on Instagram! They provide your feed with the most ratchet pictures and quotes about eating box or getting money. While it’s hard to look, we just can’t look away. They also love putting up the “N**gas Be Like” memes and are constantly battling their other hood friends as to who can put up the most ratchet photo on Instagram. This account may be too ghetto for you to follow.
25. The Catfishing Girl
There’s no way this girl is real. She is way too hot and doesn’t have nearly as many followers as she should command. But since you have no idea who she is, you decide to follow against best judgement. You’ll be on the lookout to find her real profile for however long it takes but deep down inside you know you don’t want to admit that she is fake.
24. The Friend Who Became A Pro Athlete
Remember me dog?! Nothing’s better than when one of your childhood boys finally makes it as an athlete. Whether they are in college or in the pros, you’re definitely trying to see what’s good! I mean who wouldn’t want to live life like one of Vinny Chase’s boys? Just a little more urban and a lot more Greenhouse.
23. The Girl Who Dates Second-Tier Athletes
Now this is pathetic. These are the girls who hang out with some of the most random athletes ever. I mean I guess someone has to bang them but really? I say go big or go home! If you’re not with a LeBron or D-Wade than you are not doing it right. The worst part about it is that they are dating bench players or guys that don’t even have large contracts which means they are not even doing it for the money, but for the jersey, shitty tickets and the D. The rule of thumb is never go after the guys who are going to be broke in four years, but rather the Tom Bradys of the world.
22. The Edgy Girl You’re Oddly Attracted To
This girl isn’t that hot but she possesses some weird quality that you cannot seem to resist. They are often a bit edgy with tattoos and piercings. They also have that look of many mistakes made in the past. Maybe even some daddy problems! Who doesn’t get turned on by that?
21. The Celebrity’s Child
These little pricks have it all. Not only all of the material things, but hook ups and connections. You will often see them with other stars just living it up and riding the coattails of their parent’s success. It’s not their fault though. Instagram is just a way for them to flex and feel relevant in todays pop culture.
20. The Girl Who’s At Every Event
These girls must attend every event that the promoter invites them to. They can be seen caked out with a pound of makeup on their faces, trying to look like they’re having a good time at some random party. You can only lie to yourself for so long sweetheart, but we all know you are f*cking someone to get into all of these events.
19. The Girl Who Makes You Never Want A Daughter
This girl is a little hooker! She doesn’t seem to mind like looking like a whore either! Simply known as the YOLO girl. You can find her posting pictures of her getting a champagne facial or out in Miami hanging off tables at LIV. It’s safe to say that she is the reason why we are reminded why we don’t want to have a daughter.
18. The College Girl Studying Abroad
This girl just can’t get enough of being in another country, right? She posts a plethora of pointless pictures of her posing next to some monuments that we could have just seen on Google images. We all know she’s just looking for some foreign D to get railed out by. And trust us, no one is that excited to see you standing in front of the Eiffel Tower.
17. The Selfie Monster
If you were to scroll down their feed, you basically get the same picture with a variation of shirts, hair and filters. While some people are allowed to this, most people should just not. This most of the time terrible as we can only see your mug so many times before unfollowing already! You should just keep your selfies on Myspace where they belong.
16. The Cat Girl
Similar to the Selfie Monster, she only takes pictures of one thing. And that’s her creepy cat. If there’s something we have ever learned throughout history, it’s to never trust people with cats. This odd obsession is surely not rare on Instagram as there are cat maniacs far and wide.
15. The Meme Reposter
Who the hell thinks it looks good to put a filter on an already ugly picture of a quote? Furthermore, do these people not see that some words are cut off? You have to be a real cornball to even attempt to do any of this. I don’t care how funny this meme is.
14. The Constant Vacationer
Hawaii for the holidays, Miami for Spring Break and every other of your vacation days are spent in Las Vegas. Congratulations on thriving in mediocrity. When there’s not too much going on in life, vacation does seem like a necessity. Too much time spent trying to live the “good life” and not enough efforts spent on building their life.
13. The Kid You Should Have Kept In Touch With
You were always cool with them in school, but why didn’t you just keep in touch with them?! They’re just balling out now and you have no other choice but to watch from the IG sidelines. They either made some quick money or managed to win the lottery, nonetheless they are balling out and living life right now while you are wishing you were still friends with them.
12. The Former Myspace Star
How the mighty have fallen from grace. What was once a 50,000 friend network on MySpace has been reduced to fewer than 10 likes per each of their unremarkable updates. Ill-fated selfies and paintbrush skills can’t revive the displaced MySpace star from getting more than 200 friends on a good day. Maybe if they brought back their guido blowout it would attract more people to their profile.
11. The Proud Mother
Nothing is more annoying than an overly-proud mother. Yes, your children are 14 and still swim with life jackets in the pool. Their lives are far from envious as the most exciting thing that could possibly happen is the inclusion of their child on the Dean’s List. If we see one more “My Student Is A Star” bumper sticker — we will cry.
10. The Mani/Pedi
How the hell does this woman have such little to do in life?! We get it, your tumblr gets 100 likes everytime you show off your new black caviar manicure. You have your nails did for the 7th time this week, which only proves you are as much of a waste of a time as you’ve been pegged to be. If only pictures of your face got as many likes as your nails. Now wouldn’t that be something?
9. Mr. Nature
Mountain climbing, hikes, kayaking and all that other sketchy shit. This instaloving tree hugger finds solace and peace in the greater outdoors. We do envy you. Well, rather, we envy the fact that you can find excitement in complete boredom. Staying at the Four Seasons Bora Bora might be as close to nature as we’d ever want to see.
8. The Filter Monster
No one wants to see a can of Pepsi in the toaster filter. It is not artsy to save a filtered image only to re-filter it twice over. There isn’t a filter in the world that can mask their unoriginality and cluelessness with photography. This user isn’t so much a creative type as he is a hipster.
7. The Comedian
Funny recycled images from eBaums World from 2008. We commend you on having the most helpless profession in the world. There just isn’t anything genuinely funny about a comedian Instagram. Unless you’re Louis CK getting stuck in your yacht in Harlem River
6. The High-End Escort
New clothes, new shoes, passports and private jets. You’ve always been too attractive for your own good. There is always a sense of mystery with this woman. Clearly compensated and catered to, this woman is obviously with a male suitor, but those pictures are never published. Any girl that flies private and has more than 100,000 followers — Grade-A prostitute. And you wonder why she doesn’t even model anymore.
5. The Super Self Accomplished Guy
This guy is a real asshole. Not only does he think he’s the man, but he really thinks you ain’t shit! Most of his posts have to do with some sort of personal feat that he has accomplished and is never shy to give himself credit. He thinks that he’s someone he’s not and that’s why it’s hilarious to follow him.
4. The Broke Kid Who Hashtags #RichKidsOfInstagram
Taking a picture of bottles doesn’t qualify you for being a Rich Kid Of Instagram. I’m actually pretty sure we saw that same picture on Tumblr already. That’s not even you. Come on son, we all know you still live at your parents’ crib. Stop trying to stunt.
3. Ms. Hashtag
Look miss, adding 75 hashtags will get you more likes, but it won’t get you our respect. Nothing is thirstier than trying to get random people to see your photos. And how long did it take you to write all of those down? Get a life!
2. The Groupie
There may be nothing worse than the groupie on Instagram. This is the girl that you can constantly catch with different rappers and athletes. Just know that if she is traveling to Super Bowl weekend, All-Star weekend and even going to check out the BET awards — she is on her serious groupie flow of getting knocked up by a rapper or athlete and ending up on “Basketball Wives” or “Love and Hip Hop.” When she is not traveling to these places, she will casually spend her time at Greenhouse in New York, Liv on Sunday in Miami or even worse, Cameo. The groupie will be a groupie about everything and is constantly on a chase. You know shit is real when she claims she knew Diggy Simmons from high school.
1. The Wannabe Greatest Photographer Of All Time
Top Photo Credit: Getty Images