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This Hilarious Sex Position Coloring Book Will Definitely Help You De-Stress

Adult coloring books are all the rage now. Whether it’s coloring in Drake mid-gyration or Bernie Sanders mid-anti-Wall-Street-gesticulation, people can’t seem to get enough of coloring.

What’s another thing people can’t get enough of? Sex. People seem to LOVE SEX. Not me, of course. I only love democracy and racial equality. Those are my only interests. But, other people are super into sex.

So, what’s the logical progression of these two fads (adult coloring books and sex)?

Adult sex coloring books! They’re perfect for when you’re really getting into arts and crafts. And anal.

Wait no longer! Now, you can add color to people porking (alliteration, guys) at your leisure! This book from Ulysses Press is available for purchase on Amazon and Etsy!

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The best thing about this actual, real book you can buy is you can make these copulating couples (alliteration number two) whichever race you want! Progress!


This is my favorite page in the book because the two people are having sex on a hard wooden table and not looking at one another — as sex should be done.

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PLEASE, PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE NAME OF THIS SEX POSITION!

For those of you who don’t know, Pork and Beans is when you’re porking, and one of you farts because you had too many beans. That’s why there is all that explosion and wafting-scent animation there. It’s not gross, guys! It’s natural!


This position is called You Stay Classy. I have nothing funny to say about that.

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People should call out the names of the sex positions they are doing as they do them, like a kung-fu master calling out, “TIGER STYLE,” but for, like, eating a butt. Share if you agree!


This book costs $16.85 and has the best, most concise title I’ve ever seen.

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I really want the one person who favorited this to be my best friend.


The descriptions of this book are completely amazing. If you care about living life (alliteration number three) to the fullest, read this immediately.

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If you want to explore sex in an “approachable and brightly colored way,” look no further than this book! I also love how much attention the creators give to explaining how “anatomically correct” and “informative” this book is. As if, apart from wanting to use crayons to color deep-dicking (alliteration number four), you also would like to brush up on Anatomy 101.

Full disclosure: I just bought this. I’ll let you know if I learn anything good. Pork and Beans, here I come! *fart sound*

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Alec MacDonald

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