So if you have a small penis, cancel everything you’ve got on July 20th and head on down to Bushwick to show what you’ve got (or don’t got). My prediction, a lot more people will be signed up then actually compete (aka people will be signing up their friends as a joke). To win the contest, some strategies will include thinking of your grandma naked, looking at other guy’s penises, and jumping in a cold pool.
But who knows, maybe all the baby dicks will “rise “to the occasion.
Word to the wise, don’t just type in “small penis contest” into Google Images…you may not like what you find.
Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.
Halloween is just around the corner and you know what that means: an abundance of promiscuous costumes! At some point over the course of our lives, our generation decided to transition Halloween from a holiday that was all about collectin...
Halloween is tonight, and if you haven’t picked out your costume, you’re basically screwed. Based on my experience trying to track down a Frank Serpico costume late last night, you’re going to wait a minimum of 30 minutes to get into any store that sells anything remotely related to costumes, meaning that you’re probably going […]
Everyone is getting into the Halloween spirit, even local weathermen. One TV meteorologist, Jude Redfield, lightened the mood of his broadcast by green-screening himself into a skeleton. He proceeded to do his whole weather report as the set of bones. Another anchor even joined in on the fun and fed Redfield some candy, which slipped […]
I’ve been a fan of porn comments ever since I saw someone remark that they had the same computer monitor as the “librarian” in a particular video, but there’s really no limit to how entertaining they can be. Most people don’t go out of their way to let the rest of the world know how much they […]
Classical music is one of the last remaining bastions of refinement that people can turn to when they want to feel superior to everyone else, and based on the number of times my roommate has kept me up by practicing the violin for hours on end, nobody takes things more seriously than the people who play it. […]
Starbucks has been at the receiving end of approximately 64 percent of all jokes made in 2014, and while the Pumpkin Spice Latte has taken the brunt of this comedic assault, its baristas have also come under fire for being really bad at spelling names. Normally these errors are limited to spelling mistakes that seemingly only […]
There’s nothing wrong with having a “sophisticated” sense of humor, but just because you can understand more complex jokes and obscure references doesn’t mean you should suddenly stop appreciating the more sophomoric things you come across. There’s a reason I don’t trust people who don’t think farts are funny: They’ve lost the ability to appreciate […]
As a child, Saturday morning cartoons were my jam. I’d wake up at 6 am, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to get started on my marathon cartoon watching; it was a tradition. That’s what Saturday mornings were for (when, you know, we were too young to actually do anything fun). Alas, the era of animation is […]
College is an overwhelming new world. One moment, you’re living cozily at home with your parents. The next, you’re wading in debt but having the time of your life. You’ll never know how little sleep is required to function or what strawberry vodka-fueled nights feel like until your college days. But the experience is far […]
Going out with a date you met online is something of a crapshoot. She could be statuesque like a young Kate Moss, or she could look just like your creepy next door neighbor. Georgia native Cornelius Jefferson has been charged with fourth-degree assault after attacking a blind date he’d met online. On Tuesday, the 33-year-old man […]
Here’s a little something that’ll cheer you up on this Monday morning. It’s Bill Murray sitting on a lawn chair, singing along to Bob Dylan’s “Shelter From the Storm.” The clip is from Murray’s new movie, “St. Vincent.” In the clip, Murray waters some plants, smokes a cigarette and looks like his effortlessly cool self. […]
We’ve all been there. We’ve all tried so hard not to make a face of despair after tossing back a shot. And we’ve all ended up failing miserably. What does that face look like, you ask? Tim Charles, a London-based photographer, put together a pretty awesome photo series showcasing the classic “shot face.” Charles photographed people […]
There’s a fairly standard protocol you’re expected to follow when you encounter a bear in the woods, a protocol that normally involves standing your ground or playing dead, depending on the situation. I’m essentially the opposite of a survivalist, but I can basically guarantee the phrase “take a picture with the bear” doesn’t appear in […]
The Voice of Generation-Y
Elite Daily is a lifestyle publication giving you the best of what's real day in and day out.