With the Republican presidential debate heating up, an early and unexpected front-runner has emerged.
Neurosurgeon and escaped mental patient Ben Carson has taken a lead in the polls.
Some of the insane things Dr. Ben Carson has said include: prisons make people gay, political correctness is responsible for drug addiction and, drum roll, it was actually Joseph who built the pyramids in order to store grain.
Yes, a man who believes that is currently leading the Republican presidential race.
Now I'm not a political analyst but it really has started to seem like whichever candidate says the dumbest stuff goes to the top of the polls. That's just what the evidence is telling me.
And as people look back at Carson's history of "saying things," more and more of Dr. Ben Carson's psychotic beliefs continue to emerge.
So we took the liberty of guessing things he has, in all likelihood, said at some point.
Here are things Dr. Ben Carson probably believes.
I'm not sure how this happened...
...but a man who makes his living fixing people's brains...
...apparently has no idea how to use his own.
It's like if a car mechanic didn't know how to drive...
...or if a guy who made doors didn't know how to open a door.
Seriously, by saying crazier stuff than veteran crazy-person Donald Trump, Carson has effectively risen to the top the polls.
So (if he wants to remain a contender) at the next debate, Mark Rubio needs to just answer every question with, "SUSAN SARANDON IS STILL HOT!!"
It's like an arms race of stupidity.
And although it's not clear who will eventually win...
...it is clear that we will all lose.
