Headline Of The Day: Farting Boyfriend Causes Neighbors To Call Police

Headline Of The Day: Farting Boyfriend Causes Neighbors To Call Police
Funny Papers
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Here’s one that really stinks!! Thank god my neighbors are more understanding…

Earlier this month, law enforcement authorities in Clawson, Michigan, responded to a neighbor’s suspected domestic violence call, just to find out it was all over some passed gas. Apparently, the odd noises the neighbors complained about were actually just farts while the screams, well yeah those were screams, but not because of violence — just because of the unpleasant stank.

She was yelling “stop” because she naturally wanted him to stop farting. Haven’t we all been there before? At least she didn’t stab him, like we’ve seen before!

Sometimes farting can be deadly…

fart

(via Reddit, NY Daily News)

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In Funny Papers

Humor Connor Toole

Park Police Actually Had To Ask People Not To Take Selfies With Bears

There’s a fairly standard protocol you’re expected to follow when you encounter a bear in the woods, a protocol that normally involves standing your ground or playing dead, depending on the situation. I’m essentially the opposite of a survivalist, but I can basically guarantee the phrase “take a picture with the bear” doesn’t appear in […]

Humor Connor Toole

London Man Spotted With ‘E8OLA’ License Plate On His Car (Photo)

Most license plates are made up of random combinations of numbers and letters that far too many people are able to recall when questioned by the police in movies and television shows. Every once in a while, however, those random strings come together to create a magical coincidence — take the Florida license plate that […]

Humor Connor Toole

What Drake’s Facebook Page Probably Looks Like On His Birthday (Photo)

Today, everybody’s favorite sensitive Jewish rapper from Ontario is turning 28 years old, which I assume he’s going to celebrate by doing something awkward or embarrassing in a public place. In reality, Drake will probably spend his Friday night at a club somewhere surrounded by all the women and alcohol a person could actually want, […]

Also On Elite

Women

4 Ways Women Are More Like Men Than You Think

There are a lot of generalizations out there about women. As with any sweeping statement, some may have a kernel of truth, while others are vastly overblown. Perhaps we are, as a general rule, the more emotionally-driven gender. But, do we all trash-talk while getting gel manicures? Sob at the end of rom-coms? Devour Pinkberry […]

Money

7 Ways To Succeed At Something You Know Nothing About

I often find myself landing jobs and opportunities for which I am not entirely qualified, based solely on experience. I don’t lie on my résumé, or claim to have experience I don’t, but I’m constantly being offered opportunities that sometimes have me thinking, “Who, me? Are you sure?” I then promptly bust my ass and do […]

World

Wasted Zombie Gets 2 DWIs In 3 Hours And Ends Up With An Epic Mugshot

Halloween is a time to dress up in ridiculous costumes, drink and be merry. And you probably shouldn’t drive on Halloween if you’re partaking in the festivities. Well, one such reveler did not heed this advice, and it ended up costing her. Twice. A 26-year-old woman named Catherine Butler was arrested twice within three hours for […]

Women

Don’t Hide Your Real Face: 10 Reasons Why You Should Wear Less Makeup

Why do you wear makeup? I wear it to enhance my appearance and to feel pretty. I wear it to not look dead. Some girls wear it because it’s fun, because it attracts the boys, because it plays up specific features. I usually wear concealer, powder, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara and some eyebrow pencil. This isn’t […]

Music

Bono Apologizes for Infecting Everyone’s Phone With The New U2 Album

Apple, Bono and U2 caused quite an uproar when they released U2’s album, Songs of Innocence, directly to everyone’s iTunes accounts a month ago. Most people were perplexed about how the album made its way into their music libraries. Some people didn’t even know who U2 was. Now, Bono has finally come out and apologized for […]

Sports

Guy Who Looks Like Aaron Rodgers Managed To Fool Everyone In Green Bay (Video)

Having a celebrity lookalike would no doubt be beneficial to anyone’s life. However, looking like Super Bowl-winning, Olivia Munn-banging Packers QB Aaron Rodgers will not only guarantee you friends in Green Bay, but it’ll grant you the opportunity to meet your doppelgänger and become an honorary member of the team. British comedian Tom Wrigglesworth recently found […]