Generation whY!? Loving Our Birthdays Too Much

Generation whY!? Loving Our Birthdays Too Much
Humor
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

I understand the principal behind wanting to celebrate your date of birth. It’s an extra excuse once a year to go out with all of your friends and get sh*tfaced without having to seem like a complete alcoholic. But some people take their birthday to a whole new level. Just because your birthday is a significant date on the calendar for you, doesn’t mean it is for everyone else.

People have always cared about their birthdays, but our generation is obsessed with letting everyone know. From posting “It’s my birthday!!!” on our Facebooks, to making Facebook events and inviting thousands of people, to wearing stupid little tiaras out at night, girls especially find the need to let everyone around them know that today is THEIR day. We get it!

tumblr_mfud5mXxGD1rc0luco1_250

I have no problem attending your drunken event in honor of your passage through your mother’s vagina, but don’t expect me to be throwing down hundreds and hundreds of dollars for it. Sure, if we’re getting a table at a cool club, then I’ll throw down the occasional few bucks, but don’t expect me to be emptying out the bank for you. And please, can we just celebrate for ONE day!?

How did birth-day, turn into birth-week, to birth-month, to freakin birth-year!? You have one week to celebrate your birthday, that’s it. And that doesn’t mean that every night of the week we should be having a different celebration in your honor. There should be just one party, on one night during that week, that’s it! So if your birthday is on a Friday or Saturday, that night is all about you. If your birthday is during the week and you want to have a weekend party, choose which night you want and let us do our own thing the other night. This weekend isn’t Amandapalooza.

“I can do what I want! It’s my birth-week” – a girl who needs to be repeatedly slapped in the face.

There’s nothing worse than the people who decide, for whatever reason, they want to celebrate their birthday a week after their actual birthday. No! No! No! Sorry, your birthday has come and gone, we’ve moved on. We have another person’s birthday to pretend we care about: we are done caring about yours.

I don’t know the easiest way to tell you this, but no one actually gives a sh*t that it’s your birthday. Outside of your boyfriend/girlfriend, your parents and MAYBE one or two of your best friends, people couldn’t care less about the fact that you turned a year older. Congrats, you did it! You survived another year! No one else’s calendar has New Years, Christmas, and YOUR birthday circled on it!

tumblr_mb2s2bD2i41rhw718o1_500

Some girls even get mad at their friends if they don’t send them a text by 12:05 am on their birthday. Are you serious!? How desperate are you for attention? I’ve seen girls legitimately say things along the lines of “something must be seriously wrong with her, or I’m gunna be pissed!” So you’d rather something be wrong with your friend than her just forgetting to text you “happy birthday” five minutes after midnight? Yeah, that seems logical…

So next time your birthday comes around, make a plan for one night and that’s it. Preferably the night of your actual birthday and it should consist of everyone having the best time at the least expensive cost. Just a casual get together where everyone can get smashed on your behalf without having the fact that it’s your birthday shoved in their face. We’re all happy that you’ve managed to live another year, but if you continue to push our buttons, next time we might prefer you didn’t.

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In Humor

Humor Emily Arata

You Will Never Want To Fly Again After Watching This Plane’s Landing

When hurricane strength winds start blowing during a flight, the entire cabin full of passengers prays there’s a good pilot at the helm. For a TUIfly flight hoping to land at Portugal’s Madeira Airport, the landing wasn’t easy. Gusts battered the plane, rocking it from side to side. The video, captured by a bystander, reminds […]

Also On Elite

Life

5 Ways Your Life Isn’t Over Just Because College Is

I remember two things about the day I graduated from college (or what I refer to as the worst day of my life). Firstly, my face was swollen. Senior week doesn’t do the body good. Second, there was a lump in my throat. That lump didn’t go away for a long time. According to the […]

Politics

Where In The World Is Carmen… I Mean, Kim Jong-un

His apparent beef with Seth Rogen and James Franco and his love of Dennis Rodman and the Chicago Bulls makes it pretty clear that North Korean leader Kim Jong-un’s political career has been anything but normal. So, when the national supreme leader is not seen in public for a month, should concern be raised? After all, this […]

Humor

Selfish Dog Runs Away With Plate To Avoid Sharing With Cat (Video)

Sharing food is a sign of true friendship. I sure as hell will not relinquish my precious french fries unless it’s to share with someone I truly care about, and I’m sure the same can be said for most people. He who willingly gives up his food is crazy and cannot be trusted. The dog […]

Money

Rookie Mistakes: 5 Lessons All Young Entrepreneurs Learn The Hard Way

There comes a time in every 20-something’s life when they question the stale, 9-to-5, cubicle way of life. That time for me was four years ago, before I was even a 20-something. Instead of shoving my dreams inside of the “shoulda, coulda, woulda, but I didn’t” box that most people keep nearby, I decided to hit […]