What do you call 8 fat chicks eating frozen yogurt? 16 Handles!
Sure the joke is lame (though admit it, you laughed a little), but frozen yogurt chains have become the new IT thing our generation is craving. Whether it’s 16 Handles, Red Mango, Orange Leaf, Pinkberry, or freaking Blue Banana, we just can’t seem to get enough frozen yogurt (literally, we fill our cups up to the brim because it’s self serve!). Self-serve yogurt has revolutionized the yogurt consuming experience, and our generation is eating it up…
First it was the cupcake craze, where everyone and their mother was obsessed with the wild flavors of different cupcakes. If you were spotted eating a Crumb’s cupcake, people literally stared at you like zombies with their tongues hanging. Then the cupcakes got smaller when this girl Melissa decided to shrink them so we could try more flavors. But cupcakes are like so last year, now it’s all about the frozen yogurt, or as many refer to it, “froyo.”
Who came up with the term froyo? It sounds like something my Dad would say to try and sound cool.
“Froyo yo, you fellas chilling with some chicks tonight? Raise the roof!”- my Dad trying to be cool.
In actuality, my Dad is nothing like that, but you get the point. Seriously though, froyo sounds like some miserable game that combines a frisbee and a yoyo. You throw a hacky sack in there and a false sense of arrogance, and you could have the ultimate hipster experience! Every time I hear someone say froyo, I can’t help but sing that Destiny’s Child song. “Let me say fro yo yo yo yo. Let me say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.” Those were the words, right?
Get it? She’s not pregnant, she ate too much froyo!
Urban Dictionary defines froyo as a “reference to sorority girls who binge drink on the weekend and then exercise obsessively and eat frozen yogurt in order to avoid gaining weight.” This couldn’t be anymore spot on! Nothing amuses me more than when a girl binging on froyo thinks it’s ok because it’s “low fat.” Sure, it’s low fat, but that’s irrelevant when you’re guzzling every flavor and topping down your throat like it’s your last meal. Girls literally get froyections (froyo erections) whenever they walk into one of the stores.
“I can eat it, it’s low calories. It’s good for you!” – the girl who just covered her large, 4 different flavored yogurt with cookie dough, Oreos and sprinkles.
Yeah, really low calories! This ability to have as much as we want whenever we want has become a defining attribute of our generation. Yogurt is just the most recent victim of this trend, and it’ll only get worse for years to come. There’s gunna come a time when we look back and tell our kids about how we grew up only getting one flavor yogurt when we went to the store.
Sure, we could occasionally try and fit two different flavors, or get real adventurous and go for the swirl, but otherwise we settled for just one. Much like our parents explain how they grew up able to survive in a world without cell phones and computers, we will use froyo as our example of how resilient we were as children growing up without self-serve.
Personally, I think self-serve is great. I enjoy the ability to add as much yogurt and toppings as I want, but I’m in no way obsessed with it. There are some people in our generation who literally consume froyo 2-3 times a day as their source of nutrients.
There’s nothing funnier than watching someone after they stack their cup up with tons of garbage, add a piece of fruit to it so it appears “healthy.” Yeah, pretty sure healthy went out the door about three toppings ago. Ultimately, froyo is a great occasional snack or dessert, but it’s not a full meal!
Check out last week’s Generation whY!? The New Trend Smoking Alcohol.