Desperate Guy Fakes His Own Death Just To Get A Girl To Respond To His Texts (Photos)

Desperate Guy Fakes His Own Death Just To Get A Girl To Respond To His Texts (Photos)
Humor
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

There aren’t many things more frustrating than people who can’t take a hint, especially when it means they’re constantly blowing up your phone in a desperate attempt to eventually have sex with you.

After a week or eight without a reply, most people realize that things aren’t going to work out and move on with their lives — but most of those people are reasonable human beings.

Others refuse to let go, no matter how futile their attempts may be, with some taking things to another level entirely.

In this case, “another level” involves faking your death via text message in the hopes someone will respond to you.

Twitter user @Immaculate_Ice was unfortunate (or lucky) enough to be on the receiving end of this stunt, and even though it’s objectively idiotic, the guy deserves a little bit of credit for the ingenuity.

Nothing is up and nothing will ever be up, Cordell.

fake-death-text-elite-daily-1

Well, that certainly took an unexpected turn.

fake-death-text-elite-daily-2

Only a terrible person would lie about something like this, right?

fake-death-text-elite-daily-3

Oh, that’s right — Cordell is a terrible person.

fake-death-text-elite-daily-4

At least he tried.

fake-death-text-elite-daily-5

H/T: Bro Bible, Photos Courtesy: Twitter

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Connor Toole

Connor Toole is the Senior Humor Writer for Elite Daily, begrudgingly living in New York City and burdened with the daunting task of entertaining the discerning masses online (where he assumes everything is fake by default). He grew up in Connecticut (not the rich part) and graduated from Boston College, where he spent most of his time writing things on the Internet while majoring in a topic he didn't realize he hated until he earned the necessary credits. Standing at 6' 10", he is required by Giant Law to utter "Fee-fi-fo-fum" whenever someone asks him to. His interests include Mark Ruffalo. Feel free to contact him at ctoole@elitedaily.com as long as you aren't annoying.

More In Humor

Humor Connor Toole

Female Video Game Characters Deal With Street Harassment Too (Video)

Earlier this week, every site on the Internet posted a video of a woman walking through New York City that documented the assorted catcalls and various forms of harassment she endured. It’s a serious issue that certainly deserves attention, but that’s not going to stop people from making parodies like with every other viral video to […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

8 Halloween Costumes No One Else Will Have In 2014 (Photos)

Halloween is right around the corner — and if you’re one of those people who gets physically ill when you see someone wearing the same shirt as you, you’ll want to make sure you’re not wasting your time on an uncreative costume. There’s no shortage of lists available for people who want to find the most popular […]

Humor Connor Toole

50 Things That Should Scare New Yorkers Way More Than Ebola

Ebola officially hit New York City last week, and while I’ve done my best to avoid getting caught up in the hype, it’s hard to stay totally unfazed when surgical masks come back in fashion and the potential Patient Zero for the city lies in quarantine just a few blocks from where you work. Other […]

Also On Elite

World

Intense Sorority Email Tells Members They Are Not Allowed To Be Seen With Any Boys

When Greek-system stories circulate the Internet, they’re usually tales of sorority hazing or fraternity party disasters. But a student from the University of California, Davis, sent Total Sorority Move (TSM) an email supposedly written by a Greek administrator and sent to recruiters across the entire Greek system. The letter informs sorority members that they are not allowed […]

Women

11 Reasons Why You Should Date An Unemotional Woman

There’s a special subset of women who get a bad rep because they’re not the bubbly, outwardly girly, let’s-share-our-feelings type of characters. They largely keep to themselves, don’t show much affectation and are frequently written off as cold bitches by other women and men. These ladies, however, are anything but heartless brutes. In fact, they […]

Motivation

5 Ways Working On Disaster Relief Changed My Life Forever

On May 20, 2013, an EF5 Tornado scorched a 17-mile path through a heavily populated section of Moore, Oklahoma. Twenty-five people lost their lives, almost 400 more were injured and countless homes incurred major structural damage. The almost 2-mile radius of the twister meant that along all 17 of those miles, everything you could see […]

TV

A New App Will Teach You To Speak The Language Of ‘Game Of Thrones’

One of my favorite aspects of “Game of Thrones” is all the different, original languages spoken by the characters. Dothraki, of course, is the major standout among the many tongues. There is now an app that will help you learn to speak Dothraki as well as Khaleesi or Khal Drogo. The app is meant to […]

Life

14 Things That Perfectly Describe What Fall Is Like For Floridians

Ah, it’s finally fall, a time you correlate with the fluctuation of temperature, the crisp, cool air and the changing of leaves. Well, if this is what comes to your mind when you think about this season, one thing is for sure: You do not live in the state of Florida. Fall for Floridians is […]

World

Cabbie Unknowingly Picks Up Tom Hanks And Receives Broadway Tickets

Tom Hanks seems like a pretty great guy, especially for being a big-time Hollywood actor. This story only lends credence to that assertion. According to a post on the Humans of New York blog, Hanks befriended a cab driver. The cab driver unknowingly picked up Hanks and the two hit it off. At first, the […]